I’m so so tired. Even for me my sleep last night was awful. I’ll take a sleeping tablet this evening and probably tomorrow in an effort to get back into a more acceptable pattern.
7.3 which I’m putting down to sleep and stress.
Am seeing the folks this evening. Taking “end of life” books with me for them both to go through and fill out with info about funeral wishes (which being Jewish is kinda already set out) and financial information that will help my brother and I when we’re executors. Not that that’s going to be happening for at least 20 years given that they’re only almost 82 and 84 obviously.
Wills and POAs are done and up to date. This is more so that we don’t have to go through 40 years of filing to find info. It’s ok doing it. It’s a necessity. It’s just Life. It’s also upsetting of course.
A cousin died yesterday. She’s one of the 30 odd first cousins mum had. Now she has one.
I’m glad that I booked the Warsaw trip yesterday though. That’s a bright light shining in the gloom. Business class again but thought about whether it was really necessary as it’s sub 3hr direct flights this time. I still want the space and calm that it gives me so I deemed it necessary. That sent me into a whirl of working out how many flights I need to take, where and what class, to get frequent flyer status. I think it’s one intercontinental return and twelve more in Europe. I plotted a bonkers series of multiple city flights hopping from London via Germany to and around Poland, back via Germany with a couple of days in each stopover. I’m not sure how or why but the price was only about £400 in business class. London - Berlin - Krakow - Gdańsk - Warsaw - Cologne - London
I’m tempted to at least plan it out properly and see what I can find to get Status for the least money. More as an intellectual exercise than as a serious endeavour. Sort of like a jigsaw puzzle.
Reading through my full medical record is a sobering experience too. As a result of an SAR I know have full access to everything and reading therapy notes from counsellors, therapists, psychologists and psychiatrists over the years is uncomfortable.
I’m so grateful for this place. For you all. To you all. You allow me the space to let my random thinking run free. You don’t (openly) judge. And this place also brings joy, laughter and kindness above all else.
@Wendal the image of you dragging a recalcitrance dachshund on walks is funny!
Love is what I witness above all else in this place.
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The end of life book I mentioned is this one… it’s recommended by the Law Society