Group 7-day waking average?

Stay strong @ColinUK. Its OK to feel sorry for yourself and even better to write about it, rather than bottle it up and let it ferment! Hope the next day or 2 brings news and answers.
PS: what is OA?
 
Morning all, it's November yay. I feel such relief, but fancy another year of torrential rain on the night, the littles getting soaked, we had a fairy princess and that blue hedgehog, my sisters' grandchildren. I luvs all the kiddies just so long as I can go home when I've had enough. :rofl:

Will start recording again tomorrow, have got strips so no excuse now. Sister is being given one of those fancy arm things. I'd really like one of those. Have a great day all. Soon be Christmas.

edit/
Colin what is the God concept?
 
Proud to be erratic said:
Stay strong @ColinUK. Its OK to feel sorry for yourself and even better to write about it, rather than bottle it up and let it ferment! Hope the next day or 2 brings news and answers.
PS: what is OA?
Click to expand...
Thank you.

OA is Overeaters Anon. I thought it would help me form a healthier relationship with food.

Overeaters Anonymous Great Britain | For anyone with eating issues

Overeaters Anonymous Program of recovery for eating issues / disorders including compulsive eating, over eating, under eating, obesity, anorexia, bulimia.
www.oagb.org.uk www.oagb.org.uk
 
Good morning. BG 5.4

No idea what I am doing today - sky is half deep purple-ly grey cloud and half snatches of blue and white, Met office threatens heavy rain and wind gusting to 57mph whilst the BBC says light rain and wind gusting no more than 20mph. If the Met are right I have no desire to be on the road with a wobbly trailer load of pallets scrounged to build more compost pens. Local Rag headline of "Old lady killed by extreme gardening" is unappealing. And playing with an electric shredder in the rain would merely induce them to prefix the header with the word "Stupid..."

Have a good day whatever the weather with you.
 
5.2 this morning at 8.15 am woke earlier could hear the rain outside, nothing urgent to do today, so snuggled back down 🙂
@ColinUK sending hugs, your poetry is very moving x
 
3.4 on the new Libre sensor for me and 4.5 with a finger prick. Was in the red most of the night. Got a LO at one point which a blood test showed to be a naughty 2.9. Mentally I have been struggling for a few days and totally lost my circadian rhythm which is why I am having so many hypos as my liver doesn't know if it is day or night and obviously with having a very large differential between day and night doses (22 and 4) I can't really adjust too much for my change of sleeping (I was going to say sleeping pattern.... but there is no pattern to it.) Anyway, I made a really concerted effort last night to be asleep before midnight but then had problems with my levels through the night and as a result just didn't want to get up this morning. On to my second coffee and desperately trying to find some motivation to do what should be a relatively simple task this morning but feels like a mountain and the longer I leave it.... the bigger it gets. Hoping this second coffee will give me the first foothold to start climbing...

@ColinUK Sending love and (((HUGS))) Loved the poems, particularly the second one.
Maybe if we combine and average our BG levels we could both come out of it with decent scores!

@Wannie Congrats on the HS.
 
4.1 for me on waking, and after breakfast of porridge with cherries, 2 hours later I am only 6 so a not too bad rise considering the carbs.

I lost the same 2 pounds that I gained at the weekend after the party! so at least I am back on track again. I have started my ribbon monitoring, I will share a photo when I have had several measures, I am using pink at the moment, Its so good as unlike using a tape measure you can see the loss by comparing the 2 ribbons without getting hung up on the numbers! Its like I want to be at goal immediately, but these things take time when done properly and I keep reminding myself that this isn't a diet it's a new way of eating so even if I never weighed or measured myself again it wouldn't matter as I am just eating a healthy low carb diet from now on 🙂 The numbers to focus on are the ones on my BG Monitor or my HbA1c or cholesterol not the ones on the tape measure. If the weight wants to come off my already too thin legs and not my splodge of a belly then it will do as it wishes regardless of exercise or diet 🙂

Anyway, back to other stuff, I am currently sitting wrapped in a furry heated throw working from home on my sofa listening to a gale outside. My daughter has asked me to see if there are any jobs going at my place as isnt enjoying teaching at the moment, I think she suspects I lay around all day watching TV, when in reality if you are setting your own goals to get work completed and working from home you are more likely to be working longer hours to ensure things get done, I have been known to be working at 2am before to make a deadline.

Anyway hope you are all doing well and looking forward to another fun day x
 
Morning all and a magical 5.2 for me. Couple of compression lows overnight.

On the surgery front the Dr said that as I was a slim guy ( not how you would have described me pre D ) I should be OK for a keyhole procedure, in and out the same day. Expecting be an appointment early in the New Year.

Have a good day everyone.
 
Morrning

8.1 today

@ColinUK sending massive hugs your way, you know everyone here is around for you

@Michael12421 sending gentle hugs your way and hope you feel better soon

Well my auntie is starting to show her true colours to the rest of the world, when I was on the phone to my grandad last night he suddenly chimes in "oh" (this isn't usually a good sign as that's how he starts the someone has passed away story) but not this time, at least 3 of his friends at the party (the ones we were sitting next to and getting on quite well with) had commented to him yesterday that they noticed the dirty looks we had been getting and thought it was blooming awful and disgusting, this has happened all my life, my auntie and uncle make friends, show their true colours eventually and then that's the end of the friendship but I can see us being hated even more now, I don't really care, I'm not fake like them and everyone knows it xx
 
Kaylz said:
Morrning

8.1 today

@ColinUK sending massive hugs your way, you know everyone here is around for you

@Michael12421 sending gentle hugs your way and hope you feel better soon

Well my auntie is starting to show her true colours to the rest of the world, when I was on the phone to my grandad last night he suddenly chimes in "oh" (this isn't usually a good sign as that's how he starts the someone has passed away story) but not this time, at least 3 of his friends at the party (the ones we were sitting next to and getting on quite well with) had commented to him yesterday that they noticed the dirty looks we had been getting and thought it was blooming awful and disgusting, this has happened all my life, my auntie and uncle make friends, show their true colours eventually and then that's the end of the friendship but I can see us being hated even more now, I don't really care, I'm not fake like them and everyone knows it xx
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That sounds hard, but you have the right attitude towards it, focus on other things, if they want to behave that way then its no real loss to you but I understand thats painful, take care xx
 
ColinUK said:
Just to explain... I ate my feelings and fear last night. Leg was playing up so couldn't really get further than Waitrose during the day. Went with a friend to IKEA last thursday and it was a long long day. Hired a van and drove and walked about 18k steps. Was out for 12 hours. Leg still hasn't recovered. Felt really sorry for myself yesterday and then (and yes I know this sounds silly) went to Waitrose specifically to use my vouchers and forgot to swipe them at the checkout!
Bought foods I really should know better about buying so rather than throw them away I ate them.
Checked medical records on the GP app to see if there was any news about my referral and nothing has been updated so felt doubly sorry for myself. Put the gym membership on suspension as I'm paying for it and can't go so felt triple sorry for myself at that.
Then dad texted to say "Mum's ok. All went well and she's back home x" and I checked my calendar and didn't have any clue why she's been in hospital at all so then felt even worse than useless and felt I'd let them down by not knowing what was going on.
So I ate. It was a lovely chocolate and sour cherry trifle from Waitrose but I hated almost every single mouthful I swallowed as I knew I was punishing myself and it was not going to help BG levels.
Pretty immediately after that I went to bed (it was still early but just didn't want to engage with the world so retreated). Slept atrociously even by my standards and joined an online OA meeting this morning where the reading was all about love.

I've been attending OA meetings for a couple of weeks now and am fighting the God concept thing and also the surrender to the program thing as well. I feel that I ought to be strong enough to do this by myself, which is of course my ego driving an erroneous logical outcome as I clearly cannot. Hence the OA.

On a wider note I've heard from the Investigating Officer in charge of investigating my allegations (he's the one who sits atop the whole thing - the SOIT officer was the day to day contact) and because the SOIT officer is still off ill he's encouraging me to reach out directly to him with any concerns or questions I have. It's still being investigated and he's also said that he hopes to have a "significant update" within a few weeks. So I'm anxious about that and am now having dreams (which implies I'm sleeping but I'm not however it's the only way I can think to describe them) of sitting in court and seeing the face of the man who hurt me so badly all those years ago. I worry I won't recognise him. I worry I will.

Checked the NHS app last night and there's a note on there saying that the hospital will contact me "before 2nd Nov 2022" to book my appointment so obviously I'm anxious about that as well. I want the surgical consult asap but I'm concerned about what might go wrong. Will I recover fully? Will I recover quickly? Will I go even more bonkers staying at mum and dad's for a few days convalescence? Will I permanently need a stick afterwards? Or not? I don't know but it's clearly playing on my mind.

I am still writing poetry and do find that helps. As does this place. As do you all.

I wrote these two yesterday and I think my shift in mood between times is evident.


I sit on a stone bench
One of many in the square
Overlooking a fountain
now a computer controlled
water-based installation

People stroll
Some with purpose
Many seemingly without

One side of the square is Central St Martins
overflowing with creativity
And limitless people
wrapped in High Fashion

Children play dare with the fountain
Tempting jets to shoot from the under croft
and change their experience of now.

----------------

I want to write a poem.
I want to entertain.
I pick up pen and paper
and hear the distant rain.
I see a page of potential
And blank it does remain.

I want to live my life
Free to find my way
Not haunted by shadows
that darken my every day.
I have years of potential
To silence the old refrain.

You don’t deserve to love
It says so loud and clear
Oh so empowered
by each and every tear.
I again am deferential
and feel the pain.


------
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Just wanted to say, you write the most beautiful poetry, and it seems to help you express yourself so please keep on with that.

If I was going to eat something, I would choose a cherry and chocolate cake or trifle so can relate, try and put that behind you, we all slip at times, we are all human, be kind to yourself xx
 
@rebrascora hope you manage to get a better sleeping pattern, numbers improve and you've rediscovered your get up and go after a 2nd coffee🙂
@Kaylz some of the best advice I've been given - you can't change other people's behaviour, you can only change your reaction to it - has saved me from some heartache over the years 🙂
@khskel congratulations on the HS :D
 
Morning all. After the really scary storm last night (wind howling around the house making a terrible noise and torrential rain) we've had another thunder storm this morning, but now all is calm, trees barely moving and some blue up above.

7.9 this morning, probably due to the JBs and half biscuit before bed. My own fault, bolussed for my dinner and then left half of it.

@Kaylz there is nothing worse than noxious people, you've got the right attitude, rising above it... and obviously other people see through it! BTW hope Bruce is healing, has he seen a Dr?

@Michael12421 hoping you heal quickly

@Wannie and @khskel congrats on your HSs

@ColinUK so sorry all these things have hit you at once when you were feeling vulnerable anyway. Sending Hugs and fingers crossed for something good happening in your life soon. Your poems are beautiful and very strong.

Well, I have to attend a Patient's Panel meeting this evening at 6pm. I am very annoyed with the Practice Manager (who I do not like and who resents the PPG) as she did not ask if anyone had items for the agenda and set it herself without any consultation. She wants to discuss the terms and conditions of the PPG and has sent out a list, which she says was agreed "unanimously" by the panel. Now I have attended all but 2 meetings in 8 years (and re-read the minutes of one of them) and do not recall us agreeing the terms as they include a clause about fund-raising for the surgery. I remember the discussions that took place about that and myself and several other members felt strongly that it was not our role. So, I must prepare notes so that I say what I mean at the meeting and do not get distracted!
 
Jenny65 said:
Just wanted to say, you write the most beautiful poetry, and it seems to help you express yourself so please keep on with that.

If I was going to eat something, I would choose a cherry and chocolate cake or trifle so can relate, try and put that behind you, we all slip at times, we are all human, be kind to yourself xx
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The worst thing about the chocolate and sour cherry trifle is that you can’t really leave any for another day. As soon as you take a spoon to it there’s a landslip to the hole just created with the spoon.
That makes the cherry really uncomfortable and it needs to be liberated from the bowl.
Chocolate cake then gets upset because her friend is leaving and begs to follow.
What kind of monster would I be if I left the chocolate cake to wallow in abject misery?!
 
rebrascora said:
Maybe if we combine and average our BG levels we could both come out of it with decent scores!
Click to expand...
I have some spare too....10.4
big shrugs. correction at dinnertime and bedtime yesterday (after forgetting lunchtime bolus). Another one this morning too so will see at lunchtime if its worked. No sensor so no idea if its dipping down then up or just not really shifting down at all.

@ColinUK Big hugs to you my lovely. I totally get the guilt thing x
 
Spoke with mum and totally bluffed the not knowing what she was in for yesterday thing. And got away with it!

It was to do with the arthritis in her neck. Tightening the bolts or something.
 
And it was a 4.9 for me at 7.48 this fine morning, a bit blustery and loads of overnight rain. Nice to see the grass green again as I hate the brown stuff we've had most of the summer.
 
Jenny65 said:
That sounds hard, but you have the right attitude towards it, focus on other things, if they want to behave that way then its no real loss to you but I understand thats painful, take care xx
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Not painful for me, I just want them to have more respect for my grandad xx
 
Pattidevans said:
@Kaylz there is nothing worse than noxious people, you've got the right attitude, rising above it... and obviously other people see through it! BTW hope Bruce is healing, has he seen a Dr?
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Wouldn't ruin it for my grandad, it was his day, he's feeling more comfortable today thanks, I said if it got worse he'd need to see a Dr but he can't afford the time off work, he's had so many days off unpaid this year due to stuff for the new house etc and he was off 1 and a half days the other week after his reaction at work and as his blood results were sent to a specialist he may require more time off to do with that but he's still not heard anything about his results 🙄 xx
 
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