Terrible terrible jokes!

ColinUK said:
As “dark” doesn’t exist but is only the absence of light then the speed of dark is the speed of light.
If all light sources in the universe were turned off simultaneously we’d still see light until each wave had passed us by. So dark travels at the speed of light (he says ruining the joke).
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Colin that is too intellectual for me. So why when we have lightning does that not come before the dark clouds as the darkness comes first then it rains?
 
Nayshiftin said:
Colin that is too intellectual for me. So why when we have lightning does that not come before the dark clouds as the darkness comes first then it rains?
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We have light. Then we have clouds which block the sunlight and turn it dark. Then we have lightning.
 
Dinosaurs that didn’t read are now extinct. Thank goodness the thesaurus survived.
 
What did one light bulb say to the other? ----- "I love you watts and watts."

What do you say to your single friends on Valentine's Day? ----- "Happy Independence Day!"

What does a ghost call their romantic partner? ----- A ghoul friend.

What do you call two birds who are in love? ----- Tweet hearts.

What did the light bulb say to the switch? ----- "You turn me on."
 
Nayshiftin said:
n

Is this allowed it's annie bashing I'm grammaruseless if not grammaphobic. I'll get better in 2024 @Lol Poor me will possibly never make a grammy far less a granny.
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I am so sorry to hear that that people are being attacked over speeding and grammar! Not everyone has the same educational opportunities; It is shocking that it is allowed. The forum guidelines obviously need updating!
 
MikeyBikey said:
I am so sorry to hear that that people are being attacked over speeding and grammar! Not everyone has the same educational opportunities; It is shocking that it is allowed. The forum guidelines obviously need updating!
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same soh
 
Barrowman said:
If your car could travel at the speed of light, would your headlights work?
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When I first started to learn about physics it bothered me that, if the light came out of your headlights at the speed of light while you were driving along at sixty MPH then wouldn't the light be travelling at twelve million and one miles per minute? The answer is time dilation which I learned about later and sort of understand.
 
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A couple are on a date at a fancy restaurant. The woman tells the man to say something to her that
will get her heart racing. He replies, "I forgot my wallet."

What's the difference between love and marriage? Love is one long, sweet dream, and marriage is
the alarm clock.
.
 
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Why did the ruler go and pick his girlfriend up from work?

Because he was centimetre!!
 
My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer.
I said, "No, wait! I can change."

Why do cow-milking stools only have three legs? 'Cause the cow's got the udder.
.
 
This lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins.

It was a turtle disaster.
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I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley.

She said, "Tenpin?"

I said, "No, it's permanent."
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I went in to a pet shop. I asked, "Can I buy a goldfish?"

The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?"

I said, "I don't care what star sign it is."
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I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet 'Best before End'.
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