Terrible terrible jokes!

[paultrose]

 

[Contused]

Being a banker in Iceland has to be the worst. Every other customer is walking in with a ski mask.
------------------------------

Q: What do you see when a duck bends over?
A: A butt quack.
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Q: What do you call a cartoon character who gets kicked out of school?
A: Suspended animation.
------------------------------

 

[Inka]

View attachment 34180

I thought Broccoli was Britney’s brother?

 

[Barrowman]

What do you get when a cow jumps over a barbed wire fence? An udder disaster!

What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener!

 

[paultrose]

 

[paultrose]

 

[paultrose]

 

[Contused]

Why don’t you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.
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I got to work this morning and found a lump of Plasticine on my desk. I don't know what to make of it.
------------------------------

Q: How do you get a tissue to dance?
A: Put a little boogie in it.
------------------------------

Q: Where do I keep all my Dad jokes?
A: In a Dadabase!
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I just took an airline to court because my luggage went missing.
I lost my case.
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Someone stole my mood ring.
I don't know how I feel about that.
------------------------------

 

[paultrose]

 

[Contused]

I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows far too high.
She looked surprised.
------------------------------

A white horse walks into a bar. The barman says, "We have a Scotch whisky named after you."
The horse answers, "What, Eric?"
------------------------------

 

[silver minion]

How can you tell which end of a worm is its head?
Tickle it's tummy and see which end laughs
Or... drop it in flour and see which end farts

 

[Contused]

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next."

They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

 

[paultrose]

 

[paultrose]

 

[Contused]

My wife told me to stop being immature.
I told her to get out of my fort.

 

[Satan’s little helper]

A giraffe in a bar has too many shots & collapses. A bear walks in and asks, “what’s that lyin’ on the floor?” Barman responds, “it’s not a lion.”

 

[paultrose]

 

[Contused]

My wife woke up this morning looking absolutely amazing, with the most beautiful, beaming smile.
I love messing around with felt tip pens and crayons when she's sleeping.

 

[silver minion]

You can't use Beef Stew as a password.
Apparently it's not stroganoff....
Got this one from hubby and I have already disowned him 😱

 

[paultrose]

I think its a Barksy