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Terrible terrible jokes!

What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk.

Why don’t lobsters like to share? They’re shellfish.
 
What did the shy pebble say? - I wish I were a little boulder.

I quit my job at the helium factory today. - I refuse to be spoken to in that tone of voice.

I went to a great wedding the other week. - It was so emotional, even the cake was in tiers.
 
Q: What did the Pirate say when he turned 80?
A: Aye matey!
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A grasshopper sits down at a bar. The bartender says, "We have a drink named after you."
The grasshopper answers in surprise, "What, you got a drink named Bob?"
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Conjunctivitis.com
Now that's a site for sore eyes.
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A man, walking with his friend, says, "I'm a walking economy."

His friend asks, "How so?"

The man replies, "My hairline is in recession. My stomach is a victim of inflation, and both of these together are putting me into a deep depression."
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Got a nasty leak under the sink

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How do you access the sausage website?
Follow the link.
 
I was interrogated over the theft of a cheese toastie.......they really grilled me
 
A director tells an actor, “I want you to play a cat in this play”.

The actor responds, “Me? How?”

The director says, “ That’ll do”.
 
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