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Terrible terrible jokes!

Why are Christmas Trees such bad knitters?

Because they keep dropping their needles!
 
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What did the snowmen in the grocery shop get caught doing?

Picking their noses!
 
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Its a bit blowy out there
 
What does every New Year have in store for us?

Another 365 days!
 
Why do you need a jeweler on New Year's Eve?

To ring in New Year!
 
Where do you go to do your math homework on New Year's?

Times Square!
 
Why did the man sprinkle sugar on his pillow on New Year's Eve?

Because he wanted to start the year off with sweet dreams!
 
Last year I was able to keep all of my New Year’s Resolutions!

Tucked away in a journal in my bookshelf!

(Oh good - so I did keep all my New Year’s Resolutions as I kept them in the “Note” Application on my mobile!!
:iphone:
:smiling_face:
:smirk:
That’s the only way I kept them!!! Because I broke them all I believe!)
 
Why did the man cross the road? ..Because he saw the chicken do it.

Why did the pencil go to the doctor? ..It had lead poisoning.

Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? ..He had no body to go with.
 
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Why did the kid throw the clock out the window? ..Because he wanted to see time fly.

What did the grape do when it got stepped on? ..It let out a whine.

What did the tree say when asked why he got cut down? ..I'm stumped.
 
Man hears a news report on the local radio of a driver heading the wrong direction on the motorway carriageway causing danger to traffic. His friend is on this road traveling to visit him. So he phones the guy to warn him. “Mate be carful, just heard there is a car that maybe coming the wrong way?” “You ain’t kidding.” says his mate, “There are freakin’ hundreds of them.”
 
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Why did the tree go to the hospital? ..Because it had a leaf problem.

Why did the man eat the clock? ..It was lunch time.

Why did the baby carrot go to the doctor? ..He was peeling funny.
 
Scratchy towel, not very absorbant, not recommended 1/10


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