It takes all sorts...

Maryanne29

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 1
I totally agree with Northeners original post. Several times I had responses that were inappropriately harsh, sarcastic or written in a way that could make a person feel stupid - luckily I’m not easily upset. So I decided not to use the forum for quite a while. I’ve come back now and will see what happens. Having said that most people are lovely, polite, helpful, funny but it just took a few to make me decide to,move on.
 

trophywench

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 1
The difficulty is of course - if I write something which someone could take 'wrong' that just isn't going to occur to me, because when I wrote it and read it, then to me it will still sound right and not offensive! But at times some have taken the hump merely because I upset them (accidentally) a year last Wednesday so they'd take the hump with me even if I brought em a ruddy cure! LOL

However - that is exactly what the 'Report' button is for - and Yes - I have used it myself sometimes!
 

Carolg

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
Hello maryanne29. Good to see you on forum
 

everydayupsanddowns

Administrator
Staff member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 1
I totally agree with Northeners original post. Several times I had responses that were inappropriately harsh, sarcastic or written in a way that could make a person feel stupid - luckily I’m not easily upset. So I decided not to use the forum for quite a while. I’ve come back now and will see what happens. Having said that most people are lovely, polite, helpful, funny but it just took a few to make me decide to,move on.

Lovely to see you back Maryanne :)

Don’t forget you can also use the ‘ignore’ function if you want to use the forum but not see posts by a particular user.
 

chaoticcar

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
It is hard to recognize how people :"read" a post I have a wacky sense of humour or so I have been told ,so perhaps I am in danger of upsetting someone purely innocently .If I do please tell me !
CAROL
 

Ralph-YK

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
could make a person feel stupid
Calling someone stupid is definitely out of line. Other forums I'm on moderate for such things, and admin will give warnings and ban people for personal attacks. I believe it is here too.
This forum seems a lot better than other places I've been. Although we do have the odd bump. It's also very easy to miss where there's been admin work done. Sometimes I've not known when something has happened. (Nor do I read all threads, I check the titles.). So I'm not aware of everything on this forum.
I'm sorry you had problems Mary Anne. Welcome back.
 

Vince_UK

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
I totally agree with Northeners original post. Several times I had responses that were inappropriately harsh, sarcastic or written in a way that could make a person feel stupid - luckily I’m not easily upset. So I decided not to use the forum for quite a while. I’ve come back now and will see what happens. Having said that most people are lovely, polite, helpful, funny but it just took a few to make me decide to,move on.
Agree wholeheartedly with your sentiments and statement @Maryanne29
99.9% of the people who use this forum are generous in thought and word, polite, extremely helpful and willing to share the benefits of their experience and knowledge and are open and welcoming. Very supportive indeed.
There is a very small minority and I mean very small I can count of the fingers of one hand, whose can be caustic, intent on self promotion and have a "know it all" attitude and need to engage brains before putting fingers to keyboard. I don't use the ignore button because I like to watch this play out and on more than one occasion have chuckled to myself as I have thought "is this person real?"
Just ignore them and treat it for what it is.
The benefits of using the forum by far outway any irritation that minority may cause.
That is the decision I made a while back.
 

Cookieones

Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
My sentiments entirely Vince, very well put.
Allan.
 

Ingressus

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
...to make a forum! Many people who come here may be using a forum for the first time, and often that can leave them unprepared if they encounter responses to their posts that they may find jarring or unsympathetic. Like any group of people anywhere, members are very diverse in character, and it's often not easy to spot nuances in language and presentation through text-only messages - there are no visual clues, or aural ones, so you just have to go on content and any prior experience of a particular person's writing style to determine if they are 'joking' or not. It's an age-old problem, and the chances of misinterpreting things are generally higher the greater emotional state the person reading may be.

Because of this I would like to ask that members bear these facts in mind, in posting, reading and responding - try and always put yourself in the other person's shoes, and if it conjures up any doubts about what you want to say, and how, then try and think of how you might reword things.

Remember always that this is a support forum and by that very fact people posting may be nervous, frightened, confused - or of course, confident, no-nonsense and brash. As I said, it takes all sorts, but try always to be first and foremost supportive :) Above all, no personal insults or inflammatory statements - nothing wrong with rational, passionate debate, but not directed at individuals, such posts will be removed by the moderators. :eek:

If you find that you don't like a particular member's style then I would urge you to use the 'People I ignore' option on your profile settings: you can input member names and then no longer see content from that member.

Hope this helps! :)

NB See also:

General courtesy guidelines when posting
Northerner what did you tell them you could ignore people for lol when i post there will just be an echo, Hello anyone there!
 

Cassie

Active Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 1
I was told by one poster on here, quite a long while back, in answer to a query of mine and a quite innocent statement/reply by me...that I was a "drama queen" - I came off for a long while as it really upset me. I'm not a wilting wallflower by any means, but to be told so blatantly something like that, made me never want to post or reply again on here. I never understood why whoever it was thought they had the right to call me a "drama queen". I've been type 1 for 46 years this year and never, ever made any drama out of any crisis. Even now I'm back on here, I much more wary of what I write or comment. Even though I would never write anything controversial. Or rude! I remember telling one of my DSNs and she was horrified but as she said or words to the effect as it was a while ago, keyboard warriors are everywhere.
 

Ralph-YK

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
I'm sorry to hear this Cassie. And I'm glad you're posting again. It's a pity to loose people.
 

Northerner

Admin (Retired)
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 1
I was told by one poster on here, quite a long while back, in answer to a query of mine and a quite innocent statement/reply by me...that I was a "drama queen" - I came off for a long while as it really upset me. I'm not a wilting wallflower by any means, but to be told so blatantly something like that, made me never want to post or reply again on here. I never understood why whoever it was thought they had the right to call me a "drama queen". I've been type 1 for 46 years this year and never, ever made any drama out of any crisis. Even now I'm back on here, I much more wary of what I write or comment. Even though I would never write anything controversial. Or rude! I remember telling one of my DSNs and she was horrified but as she said or words to the effect as it was a while ago, keyboard warriors are everywhere.
I'm very sorry to hear this @Cassie :( It's certainly not acceptable, people should always be treated with respect. It must have been something I missed at the time, so I apologise :(
 

Annemarie

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 1
I joined recently, I have significant areas of ignorance both with diabetes and technology so I have been a bit nervous when asking stupid questions, however, responses have been very kind so thank you. It’s the only way I’m filling in gaps in my knowledge which is like a colander. My only concern is the security for example if I want to check/complain or query information given to me by the diabetic Nurse at the GP surgery (I truly don’t she’s been as helpful as she can) how can I be sure that person wouldn’t access my concerns and take offence?
 

Annemarie

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 1
LOL Susan! Redkite - no idea what happened when I repeated you, except that I agree - obviously!

I'm limiting myself to what I say at the mo since I seem to have upset quite enough people.

But there again - I'd like to say this.

When this forum first started, as it got going there were very few people who actually gave any advice to anyone and it seemed full of people who just said There There dear - I know, OOOOh I know! - which was NOT what most of us need when we come looking for help. God - your own family and friends colleagues and neighbours give you all the hugs etc they can - but they can't HELP you - they know it and you know it.

So you don't WANT people to just give you more of the same! You WANT people who not only truly understand how you feel, which we'll take as read if everyone is diabetic or closely associated with it (parents especially as they have to do the same thinking as adult diabetics have to except it's worse cos it's their baby LOL) but more importantly might be able to suggest summat that might/could possibly make you feel better even if it tastes horrible or sounds totally ridiculous to start with! Does any of that make any sense?
You seem to have a good clear vision, I like your posts, straight and to the point, you say it as it is.
 

Ralph-YK

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
how can I be sure that person wouldn’t access my concerns and take offence?
Do you mean read your posts on the forum? Well, anyone can read what's posted. (They don't even need to sigh up.) That's a reason to use a nickname, instead of your real life (RL) name (particularly full RL name). I think the bulk of HCP aren't on here though, so wouldn't know what you posted.
I believe there's a rule about naming people. Most people use generic terms, like "my diabetic nurse" or "my GP".
[Edited]
 

Annemarie

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 1
Ok I think caution is the best way. On the subject of tracing family my husband traced his father’s family as far as 1628 when they were living in Cheltenham, very wealthy (we visited Cheltenham but only came away with a parking ticket!) When he traced his Mother’s line he discovered that in the early 1700 they lived close to his father’s ancestors
 
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