Mental health / Gratitude

Good post Colin 🙂
I put aside my anger and total confusion over my mother's behaviour when I decided to class her as the housekeeper she was.
In my brothers case, I decided it was best to disown him, so I take the view I don't have a brother. I have no feeling for him, however if he did try to contact me, that would stress me out a lot.

@ColinUK you were very lucky to have that loving home. When I was over my friends house I'd see her mother giving greeting/farewell hugs and kisses to my friend and found it really bizarre in a 'what is this strange behaviour' kinda way.
Over the years I had far more greeting/farewell hugs and friendly kisses off my friends husband than off ALL of my family members combined. And that's excluding those off my friend herself plus her 3 children!
 
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s'nic said:
For sure, your health comes first.
Remember you aren't alone in this, and never fall into the trap of blaming yourself for their behaviour. Their shortcomings fall purely on them.
Going through counselling for my depression and talking about the past made me realise ... I'd never had a mother, she kept the house clean, kept us fed and made a point of treating us the same (spending same money on presents etc). But she did not treat us the same.
Even as a child I picked up on it very early. Who tells a younger child to stay downstairs alone while taking a long time to put the older child to bed first? A few questions to my brother got the answer - he was having some quality time and getting a bedtime story. All I got was put to bed lol.
Also, what person that hates men being violent to women turns a blind eye to what is happening in their own home?
My brother had a mother, I had a housekeeper.
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Gosh I hope you continue to get support
 
That it helps to meet difficulty with gratitude.
 
ColinUK said:
That it helps to meet difficulty with gratitude.
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It certainly does.

I find being grateful takes you/yourself out of the picture. It moves you into a very subtle, peaceful place. The smaller the things we are grateful for the greater the peace.

Gratefulness brings a different kind of happiness and best of all it's completely free. It's s not like the happiness you get from winning a race, winning a football match or getting one up on someone.
 
Amity Island said:
It certainly does.

I find being grateful takes you/yourself out of the picture. It moves you into a very subtle, peaceful place. The smaller the things we are grateful for the greater the peace.

Gratefulness brings a different kind of happiness and best of all it's completely free. It's s not like the happiness you get from winning a race, winning a football match or getting one up on someone.
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But even knowing all that certainly doesn’t make it easy!
 
ColinUK said:
I’m not going through anything particularly at the moment but wanted to say this…

It’s tough navigating the tempest that MH causes. Lots of us here know that.

Also sometimes the best intentioned support feels like it’s intruding or meddling or trying to “fix” us when all we want is to be heard.

I hope above all else that we all appreciate that help/support offered here is well intentioned even if it can be difficult to accept. I know I do.

This forum has helped me through some incredibly tough times and I’m grateful that it’s not a MH forum but is populated by and large by open hearted, generous, kind and thoughtful people who often show they care.

It may not suit everyone and it certainly may not suit everyone all of the time but I’m grateful, and humbled, to be a part of it.
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Thanks Colin, I just feel so alone with this, and whatever I try to dig myself out of this hole doesn't seem to work. Julia
 
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