Mental health / Gratitude

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ColinUK

ColinUK

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I’m not going through anything particularly at the moment but wanted to say this…

It’s tough navigating the tempest that MH causes. Lots of us here know that.

Also sometimes the best intentioned support feels like it’s intruding or meddling or trying to “fix” us when all we want is to be heard.

I hope above all else that we all appreciate that help/support offered here is well intentioned even if it can be difficult to accept. I know I do.

This forum has helped me through some incredibly tough times and I’m grateful that it’s not a MH forum but is populated by and large by open hearted, generous, kind and thoughtful people who often show they care.

It may not suit everyone and it certainly may not suit everyone all of the time but I’m grateful, and humbled, to be a part of it.
 
ColinUK said:
I’m not going through anything particularly at the moment but wanted to say this…

It’s tough navigating the tempest that MH causes. Lots of us here know that.

Also sometimes the best intentioned support feels like it’s intruding or meddling or trying to “fix” us when all we want is to be heard.

I hope above all else that we all appreciate that help/support offered here is well intentioned even if it can be difficult to accept. I know I do.

This forum has helped me through some incredibly tough times and I’m grateful that it’s not a MH forum but is populated by and large by open hearted, generous, kind and thoughtful people who often show they care.

It may not suit everyone and it certainly may not suit everyone all of the time but I’m grateful, and humbled, to be a part of it.
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I feel the same in the breif time I've been a member here. You can't please everyone at the end of the day. And offering words of support when it's sincere is only a good thing in my book. But you can't guarantee how it will be received.

I hear your first comment. I've had serious mental health issues since 1992 and coped by myself in the main. I appreciate the help I have received but I have found everytime I do reach out for support it just makes things worse. My logic behind that is it just brings my mental health issues to the front of my mind.

I am in no way complaining but the first thing that people offer is phone numbers. Which I am not knocking but I called the Samaritans in the middle of the night once and it did not go down well. I was told recently that you've got to give things like that 6 or 7 times to get a perspective on it. Which I agree with to some degree.

I am lucky as I don't have it as bad as others. But things can get pretty bleak.

Thank you for your comments on the subject.
 
ColinUK said:
I’m not going through anything particularly at the moment but wanted to say this…

It’s tough navigating the tempest that MH causes. Lots of us here know that.

Also sometimes the best intentioned support feels like it’s intruding or meddling or trying to “fix” us when all we want is to be heard.

I hope above all else that we all appreciate that help/support offered here is well intentioned even if it can be difficult to accept. I know I do.

This forum has helped me through some incredibly tough times and I’m grateful that it’s not a MH forum but is populated by and large by open hearted, generous, kind and thoughtful people who often show they care.

It may not suit everyone and it certainly may not suit everyone all of the time but I’m grateful, and humbled, to be a part of it.
Click to expand...
When people with mental health issues need help, unfortunately; and almost ironically; they've chosen/need that help at the most difficult time. That's what makes mental health issues so difficult to deal with on both sides. They don't/can't be helped at that moment and those trying to help at that moment are trying to help at the most difficult time.

I think one of the best things anyone can keep in mind, whether it's depression, anxiety or stress, is that life can change at any moment. It won't always be like this. One of the best strategies (on a day when one is feeling more positive), is to try and get something in place, make some changes, improve your thinking, to try and avoid those situations happening. It depends on the mental health issues, situation/circumstances of course.
 
Amity Island said:
When people with mental health issues need help, unfortunately; and almost ironically; they've chosen/need that help at the most difficult time. That's what makes mental health issues so difficult to deal with on both sides. They don't/can't be helped at that moment and those trying to help at that moment are trying to help at the most difficult time.

I think one of the best things anyone can keep in mind, whether it's depression, anxiety or stress, is that life can change at any moment. It won't always be like this. One of the best strategies (on a day when one is feeling more positive), is to try and get something in place, make some changes, improve your thinking, to try and avoid those situations happening. It depends on the mental health issues, situation/circumstances of course.
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I agree. I was taken to hospital last year due to being in exactly the wrong job that ultimately forced me to voice my thoughts of suicide. The mental health nurse suggested making a plan of what I would do when things get that way. I've also been thinking about how I am often asked if I will do anything about it and recently I've concluded I talk myself down. As someone would who is ready to jump off the Golden Gate Bridge. I watched a TED not long ago. The guy was incharge of dealing with people who are ready to jump and he said there are 3 ways people deal with suicide that's Sleep, Drink/Drugs and death. He also said of the few people that survived the jump, those people said they knew they had made the wrong decision as soon as they jumped. One thing I think about.
 
Amity Island said:
When people with mental health issues need help, unfortunately; and almost ironically; they've chosen/need that help at the most difficult time. That's what makes mental health issues so difficult to deal with on both sides. They don't/can't be helped at that moment and those trying to help at that moment are trying to help at the most difficult time.

I think one of the best things anyone can keep in mind, whether it's depression, anxiety or stress, is that life can change at any moment. It won't always be like this. One of the best strategies (on a day when one is feeling more positive), is to try and get something in place, make some changes, improve your thinking, to try and avoid those situations happening. It depends on the mental health issues, situation/circumstances of course.
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It reminds me of something I read once. I think it was probably Gwyneth Lewis maybe. Anyway she likened her depression to looking at the world through grey tinted glasses. She also said that even on the cloudiest of days the sun is still shining bright above those clouds. It’s still there but it’s just that we can’t see it. But those clouds will pass. They always pass eventually. And the sunlight streams down again.
 
ColinUK said:
It reminds me of something I read once. I think it was probably Gwyneth Lewis maybe. Anyway she likened her depression to looking at the world through grey tinted glasses. She also said that even on the cloudiest of days the sun is still shining bright above those clouds. It’s still there but it’s just that we can’t see it. But those clouds will pass. They always pass eventually. And the sunlight streams down again.
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That's an excellent example. One of my all-time favourite movies is Dark City. At the end of the film the Sun comes out and everything is bright again. I do like a happy ending.
 
RichardsUsername said:
That's an excellent example. One of my all-time favourite movies is Dark City. At the end of the film the Sun comes out and everything is bright again. I do like a happy ending.
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I’ve heard another analogy about clouds and sunshine. We’re boarding a plane and it’s bucketing down with rain. The aircraft climbs slowly through the rain, through the clouds until it’s above them. And what do we find above them always? Bright sunshine! (Unless it’s a night flight of course)
 
Sometimes it’s just speaking to the right person at the right time, which I was lucky enough to do once. I’ve spoken with counsellors doctors and the crisis team . Sitting in a waiting room once at night in an out of hours clinic during a complete mental breakdown and breathing into a brown paper bag, a receptionist moved me into a side room for some privacy. I was sobbing and saying I was useless and weak and no good for my kids and they would be better off without me. She crouched down stroked my hair out of my face and said “oh no dear, your a strong woman, you have taken on so much and kept it all in, what’s happening now is you letting out a lifetime of pain… only the strongest people get to this point and your children should be proud of your strength” well that one statement from an untrained kindhearted person meant more to me than all of the money I have spent on head doctors and I’ve carried it with me. She has no idea the difference she made to my life that night.
 
i look at as a muddy puddle . Things stir the waters up snd it makes it too muddy to see the clear water but when things settle its very clear again.
Some days a little can stir it . other times its s huge build up
Sometimes life ticks by clearly other times we cannot see the end of it.
We can though either get fed up or as my auntie used to say wait till your fed back down again.
Keep going one day I will be useful, worth it.
But today i exist.
Life is the hardest sentence we all get.
One day we will look back and if nothing else know we tried.
Not good enough was on all my school reports. Could do better was another.
My mother used to say your not often right but your wrong again.
Ive nowt to be proud off.
Type 2 self inflicted . lose weight, get active be positive.
Call it MH well i don't get better from that either.
rant over I just go on ….
 
@IamHim Thought you might appreciate this thread
 
EmmaL76 said:
Sometimes it’s just speaking to the right person at the right time, which I was lucky enough to do once. I’ve spoken with counsellors doctors and the crisis team . Sitting in a waiting room once at night in an out of hours clinic during a complete mental breakdown and breathing into a brown paper bag, a receptionist moved me into a side room for some privacy. I was sobbing and saying I was useless and weak and no good for my kids and they would be better off without me. She crouched down stroked my hair out of my face and said “oh no dear, your a strong woman, you have taken on so much and kept it all in, what’s happening now is you letting out a lifetime of pain… only the strongest people get to this point and your children should be proud of your strength” well that one statement from an untrained kindhearted person meant more to me than all of the money I have spent on head doctors and I’ve carried it with me. She has no idea the difference she made to my life that night.
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Totally agree. And is why I try to think before I speak. And understand where the other person is coming from. I also never fealt more at home when I was attending a day centre for those with Schizophrenia. They were all on my level. A doctor is not going to fully relate.
 
ColinUK said:
It reminds me of something I read once. I think it was probably Gwyneth Lewis maybe. Anyway she likened her depression to looking at the world through grey tinted glasses. She also said that even on the cloudiest of days the sun is still shining bright above those clouds. It’s still there but it’s just that we can’t see it. But those clouds will pass. They always pass eventually. And the sunlight streams down again.
Click to expand...
This reminds of the lyrics from a beautiful song by Joni Mitchell called both sides now. We (humans) tend to see things how we perceive them, not necessarily as they are.

Rows and floes of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere
I've looked at clouds that way

But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on everyone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way
 
EmmaL76 said:
Sometimes it’s just speaking to the right person at the right time, which I was lucky enough to do once. I’ve spoken with counsellors doctors and the crisis team . Sitting in a waiting room once at night in an out of hours clinic during a complete mental breakdown and breathing into a brown paper bag, a receptionist moved me into a side room for some privacy. I was sobbing and saying I was useless and weak and no good for my kids and they would be better off without me. She crouched down stroked my hair out of my face and said “oh no dear, your a strong woman, you have taken on so much and kept it all in, what’s happening now is you letting out a lifetime of pain… only the strongest people get to this point and your children should be proud of your strength” well that one statement from an untrained kindhearted person meant more to me than all of the money I have spent on head doctors and I’ve carried it with me. She has no idea the difference she made to my life that night.
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Sounds like you met an angel that day.
 
I don’t know how common this one is but when you’re struggling and you actually talk to someone and you know you’re getting absolutely no judgement - you don’t realise how much the situation is stressing you and weighing you down and after talking you feel so much lighter afterwards- talking helps
 
Amity Island said:
This reminds of the lyrics from a beautiful song by Joni Mitchell called both sides now. We (humans) tend to see things how we perceive them, not necessarily as they are.

Rows and floes of angel hair
And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons everywhere
I've looked at clouds that way

But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on everyone
So many things I would have done
But clouds got in my way
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True. Seen from the right angle turns a negative into a positive. Even with all the pain I see things from a different angle than your average person.
 
Lily123 said:
I don’t know how common this one is but when you’re struggling and you actually talk to someone and you know you’re getting absolutely no judgement - you don’t realise how much the situation is stressing you and weighing you down and after talking you feel so much lighter afterwards- talking helps
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Definitely. Unfortunately people judge and judge. I was once told by a consultant that I don't look like a Schizophrenic. I think he was on the wrong side of the desk.
 
RichardsUsername said:
Definitely. Unfortunately people judge and judge. I was once told by a consultant that I don't look like a Schizophrenic. I think he was on the wrong side of the desk.
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There’s the good ones at helping and then the bad ones. Have they not heard to never judge a book by its cover??
 
RichardsUsername said:
Good point. It's a job at the end of the day and some don't do their job properly.
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I once lost complete respect for a therapist in group therapy.
We were talking about sex stuff and I said something about an experience I’d had and there was a very audible, very judgemental intake a breath from her when I did.

I’ve also had a locum GP tell me that in order to deal with my MH I should turn my life to Jesus.

They’re no longer practicing.
 
I should hope they’re no longer practising @ColinUK that’s awful
 
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