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Terrible terrible jokes!

As I live in the countryside.....Screenshot_20250704_140445_Facebook.jpg
 
My wife yelled from upstairs and asked, "Do you ever get a shooting pain across your body, like someone's got a voodo doll of you and they're stabbing it?"
I replied "No..."
She responded:
"How about now?"
 
I just checked my home insurance policy....
If my blanket gets stolen apparently I'm not covered!
 
What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.

Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
 
Screenshot_20250715_075318_WhatsApp.jpg
 
Why did they let the Turkey join the Thanksgiving band? Because he had the drumsticks.

What starts with a T, ends with a T and has T in it? A teapot.
 
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For our culture vultures and cat loversScreenshot_20250717_084050_Facebook.jpg
 
I bought a vinyl record today titled 'The sounds of wasps'
I played it when I got home and thought this doesn't sound like wasps at all. I took a closer look.

I was playing the B side
 
Im addicted to buying albums by The Beatles

Someone said i need help

But ive got that one :rofl: :rofl:
 
Why did the skunk take out a loan? ....Because he only had one scent.

Why did the pony ask for a glass of water? ....It was a little horse.
 
Not really a joke....

There is a common English word that is nine letters long. Each time you remove a letter from it, it still remains an English word, from nine letters right down to a single letter.

What is the original word, and what are the words that it becomes after removing one letter at a time?

The base word is Startling - starting - staring - string - sting - sing - sin - in - I
 
I thought I’d take up skiing. It started badly and was all downhill after that.


My grandfather was a lift operator. Not a great job. It had its ups and downs.
 
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