Hate

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EmmaL76 said:
Do you feel like this every day… I mean has there ever been a time where you have been ok with it and enjoyed life? Or have things kinda come to a head for some reason, worsening health or personal life ?
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Never been ok with it, hated it from day 1. Worsening health, yeah,got retinopathy, neuropathy, just had heart attack but am at the point I no longer give a sh*t,so bring on the amputations
 
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rebrascora said:
Sounds like you need some help. What aspect of your diabetes management are you most struggling with? If you can be more specific and hopefully a little less offensive with your language, we can help you. I get that you are very frustrated but if you can tell us more I am sure we can help you or point you in the right direction to find appropriate help, be that technology or educational course or mental and emotional support or practical tips. I cannot imagine you came to the forum just to rant, so if you want help, tell us how we can offer it.
Diabetes is sometimes described as being like a naughty child. If you give it enough attention and are disciplined with it, you can keep it from wreaking havoc. If you don't give it enough attention, it has a tantrum and it is difficult to control. Finding the balance of doing enough without dedicating your life to it is the key and learning what tips/tricks and technology is available to help you with that can mean you have the tools to get it back under control and behaving nicely again. Yes, it is a pain in the backside at times but with appropriate support, it is manageable and you can live well with it. It sounds like you need more support at the moment though.
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The aspects of my diabetes i am struggling with is all of it,even down to the stink of insulin
 
spell said:
Never been ok with it, hated it from day 1. Worsening health, yeah,got retinopathy, neuropathy, just had heart attack but am at the point I no longer give a shit,so bring on the amputations
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Sorry about all those things … I really am.
 
Spell you are so angry with your situation, your anger and neglect will kill you. My late brother had end stage kidney failure and he lost a leg to it, he never at any stage lost the plot. Yes you are a different person, my thoughts go to you, yes it is very tough. I do not judge you by any standard. My brother died 5 November 2014. Please Spell I do get the anger
 
Afraid I am a practical person. I very much doubt I am able to change your attitude to your diabetes, but I might be able to help you manage it better, so the only way I can see that I can respond to your posts is to ask questions.....
So.... Let's start with some basics then.... Which insulins do you use and when do you inject them and what sort of doses?
Do you have Freestyle Libre sensors on prescription or are you still finger pricking?

Personally I haven't noticed the smell of my insulin particularly. Maybe that is because I usually just do a half unit "air shot" which is just enough to see a drop on the tip of the needle rather than squirt it in the air....
 
EmmaL76 said:
@rebrascora … do you not think it smells of hospitals :confused:
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I really just don't notice it and even if I did, it is just a smell. Maybe because I am exposed to bad smells a lot with mucking out 4 horses every day and picking out and trimming their hooves, and sometimes having to change the pump in my septic tank, I am less particular about smells in general than many people but I will try to be more conscious to see if I can smell it next time I inject.
 
spell said:
Never been ok with it, hated it from day 1. Worsening health, yeah,got retinopathy, neuropathy, just had heart attack but am at the point I no longer give a sh*t,so bring on the amputations
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I hate it too @spell but I try to control it because I don’t want it to win, and it makes me feel good to get an ok blood sugar result. I see it as getting one over on the diabetes.

Living with a chronic health condition is hard. It’s exhausting day after day, month after month. But I second the suggestion to speak to someone and get some counselling. It can help a bit and help you see a way through things.
 
It's exactly the same smell as comes when surgical spirit and water, meet. That is precisely why 'it smells like hospitals' except thank heaven, neither hospitals nor GP and dentists surgeries smell like that these days, in the main!
 
Hi @spell I sympathise with how you are feeling, I really do. I won't pretend to know what it feels like, but my daughter had similar issues when she was diagnosed. With the right help and support, it is possible to get through this. I realise that it won't seem that way to you, especially after the counselling and medication you have already had. I hope you are open to the idea of some kind of counselling again. A good place to start is our own helpline, it will be open again on Monday. In the meantime, please feel free to PM me if you'd like to and I'll respond as soon as I see it.
 
I was also diagnosed in 1978 it was a very different time back then.

Complications have rearranged my life with sight loss and Charcot foot but I don't hate diabetes. I haven't got the energy to maintain anger at it and have occasional outbursts swearing at the kitchen wall instead but it changes nothing. I still need to do all the stuff I have to and I'd rather get on with it and put diabetes back in its box for as long as possible each day. Complications scare me to bits but its not anger or hate. I've been told I should have a below knee amputation and am trying to keep going for as long as I can without facing that, it will no doubt bring a whole host of new challenges I haven't even considered as yet so my aim is to try and keep the status quo.

I don't have suggestions for you apart from to ask for any tech that may help you reduce the burden of diabetes in your life and if its something you want to /can do ask for a referral for some counselling . I was very angry at T1 in my twenties but the only person that got damaged and hurt was me and I'm living with the physical and mental scars today.

I don't want diabetes anymore than anyone else but I had to call a truce with it and myself, diabetes doesn't care how much you hate it, it's the same challenge regardless but getting to a better place with how you deal with it can help reduce the burden.
 
Amity Island said:
I realised a while ago, that hate only hurts you. It eats away at your soul. Hate provides no help to your health. I don't love my diabetes, but I do accept it. Acceptance and hate are a long, long way appart. You have my full sympathy and complete understanding having to live with such a time consuming and impacting condition.

Perhaps you could make just a small, mindful step away from hate towards acceptance. And then a few more. It might give you some respite from it all.
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What I have accepted strangely enough is that I won't accept it if that makes sense.
Diabetes is not your friend or there to help you it wants to kill you
It hates you, hate it back
 
spell said:
What I have accepted strangely enough is that I won't accept it if that makes sense.
Diabetes is not your friend or there to help you it wants to kill you
It hates you, hate it back
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Diabetes only kills you if you don't look after yourself.
There are people alive and well today who have had type1 diabetes for 80 years or more.
My uncle died last year at the age of 86 he outlived my father by a good 5 years my father didn't have diabetes Uncle did though, he was diagnosed about 6 months after me.
There is no reason in this day and age not to live a long and healthy life with diabetes. Yes, a bit of work is involved in achieving this.
Personally, I would rather spend 20 mins a day managing my diabetes to stay healthy rather than feeling c*ap 24/7.
Botom line is if you look after your diabetes, it will look after you.
The only person that can make the changes is you, it's your condition end of story.
Tough love can be a hard pill to swallow, but we are here to help you if you want the help 🙂
 
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Welcome to the forum @spell. Sorry you feel as you do.

I like my diabetes as it lead me to this wonderful forum and the supportive people in it / on it.

Yes there’s off days when I’d rather I didn’t have it because it slows me down a little or I have to plan a little bit more in order to do something rather than it holding me back

I’ve had eye injections off and on for the last 22 months and each time I’m in awe of the moves forward in medicine and the positive effect it’s having in helping restore my sight.

Read around the forum and all you’ll find is support.

Best wishes
 
spell said:
Because accepting this evil disease is admitting defeat
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Ok look at it in a different way, diabetes lives with you as an unwelcome guest, you don't live with it.
Diabetes isn't going to go away, so just accept it and move on.
If you look at your logic or lack off 🙂 you are admitting and have admitted defeat by allowing it to control, you in the way it does (mentally and physically)
 
By accepting it, you put yourself in the right place to manage it better and not let it dominate your life. Managing it and not letting it dominate is the way to beat it.
 
Bronco Billy said:
By accepting it, you put yourself in the right place to manage it better and not let it dominate your life. Managing it and not letting it dominate is the way to beat it.
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At the moment I can accept diabetes for what it is, it's a problem and makes me fight a fight I have zero interest in
 
So why did you join the forum?
 
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