Facing up to my failure!

[merrymunky]

Hi all,

As you can probably tell by my absence here over the last few months I have been neglecting my duty to look after myself living with this condition.
After giving birth I promised myself two weeks off to just enjoy some naughty foods while I adjusted to parent life.

Almost five months down the line (HOW has it gone so fast?!) and I am not in a good way physically. I have gained over two stone since giving birth and I haven’t been testing or diet controlling this diabetes.

It’s safe to say I have started to feed the effects. For the last two weeks I have found myself feeling short of breath, I’ve had headaches and light headedness. I did a finger prick test after breakfast this morning snd the reading was 14.2. I was shocked. I’ve never been that high before.

I called the doctor today to discuss my symptoms and to request an hba1c to see exactly how badly I have fallen off the wagon. I expect my number will be as high as it was when I started this journey, if not higher.

I’m quite ashamed of myself for letting it get so out of control that I feel poorly. I just wish I didn’t love all things carb!

So here I am with my tail well and truly between my legs pledging to face up to this once I’ve had a good old cry about how high my hba1c has claimed again tomorrow. I fought so hard to get myself in a good place. Now I have Eris it is so important that I stay well for her.

I would beg for help but I know the only one who can help me is myself.

 

[silentsquirrel]

Forum seems very quiet this evening!
Well done for being so honest - first step in turning things around is admitting to yourself what has gone wrong.

Baby, achievable steps to get back on track, don't try to make drastic changes, and don't worry if you fall off the wagon again, just make sure you are on more than off! It isn't at all easy to stay strong when you must be incredibly tired much of the time,.

You can do this. Keep in touch, come on here to celebrate small victories, or to rant when needed!

Enjoy Eris, this is an adorable age.

 

[merrymunky]

Forum seems very quiet this evening!
Well done for being so honest - first step in turning things around is admitting to yourself what has gone wrong.

Baby, achievable steps to get back on track, don't try to make drastic changes, and don't worry if you fall off the wagon again, just make sure you are on more than off! It isn't at all easy to stay strong when you must be incredibly tired much of the time,.

You can do this. Keep in touch, come on here to celebrate small victories, or to rant when needed!

Enjoy Eris, this is an adorable age.

Thank you. I just feel really depressed tonight as I know I’ve done this to myself again and my willpower is so low.

 

[Drummer]

I can only advise roasting a large chicken and maybe get some swede or cauliflower to mash with cream.
Make yourself some real custard, maybe turn half of it into ice cream, have the other half warn (Maybe with some rhubarb) and some cold with berries.
Not only will it all be low carb it should make you feel a bit better mentally.
I have had various encounters recently with people involved with depression and violent mood swings and there does really seem to be a link between low carb eating and being in a better place mentally.

 

[silentsquirrel]

My willpower has always been at its lowest when I am tired.
Fingers crossed the Hba1c won't be as bad as you think. Tiny, baby steps, remember!

 

[Thebearcametoo]

Hey, you’ve had other things that were a priority. You’ll take steps to get it back under control and you won’t be alone. Well done for calling the doctor and good luck with the next steps.

 

[trophywench]

@Drummer has made me burst out laughing @merrymunky - hope it does you too!

I seem to think that childbirth doesn't usually turn confirmed vegetarians into carnivores but I'm no expert!

Substitute a cauliflower for the chicken ??????

Have a massive hug from me, be nice to yourself (always) and you will get there. Honest!

 

[merrymunky]

@Drummer has made me burst out laughing @merrymunky - hope it does you too!

I seem to think that childbirth doesn't usually turn confirmed vegetarians into carnivores but I'm no expert!

Substitute a cauliflower for the chicken ??????

Have a massive hug from me, be nice to yourself (always) and you will get there. Honest!

God loves a trier eh? I’ll never eat meat. I’ll eat quorn though! Close enough.

Virtual hugs greatly appreciated. Feeling pretty miserable and annoyed with myself.

 

[grainger]

Firstly - please don’t be so hard on yourself. The first few months of parenthood are shockingly hard and for most mums (or dads) even ensuring that they’ve washed their hair goes out of the window sometimes - hence why they developed dry shampoo I think! So you add taking care of a condition like diabetes and it is really hard. So don’t beat yourself

Secondly - you are here. You are wanting to make the changes that you need to in order to be in the best health you can be for your little one. You should be proud of that.

I hope you find the support you need and I just wanted to say congrats (I only drop in and out of the forum these days and I clearly missed the birth!)

you’ve got this xx

 

[stephknits]

Great to hear from you . I'm sure you will have this. I put on weight after my two were born but got back on track eventually. I found walking with the buggy very good

 

[rebrascora]

Hi MM

Sorry to hear that you are feeling a bit down but just remember that high BG levels will make you more emotional and less rational, so things will become a lot easier than it seems, once your levels start to come down.
You have done it before so you know you can sort this and don't forget that you have just done the most amazing thing under very difficult circumstances.... ie making another little human.... so don't be so hard on yourself. The important thing is that you are ready to face up to this now and you know we are here to support you.

 

[merrymunky]

Thank you all. I’m feeling better after a bit of a cry on the hubby and an ‘I hate diabetes’ rant.

Eris is my biggest motivation for staying well. Here’s some Eris spam to make you all smile. She’s getting so big!!!

 

[rebrascora]

She is just gorgeous!

 

[trophywench]

Does she need a surrogate Great Grandma?

(get in quick Jen cos once she finds her feet you have to chase them! )

Eris or any similar spam is always very welcome!

 

[Drummer]

Duh - I was just reflecting on the smell wafting from my kitchen as I was writing - sorry - The roast swede was delicious too - it is my latest addition as the evenings are drawing in now and it seems that there is a definite Autumnal light, even when we do see the sun, dictating mashed something.
I have five grandchildren now so I must not be covetous...

 

[grovesy]

You have made the first step by recognizing you need to get control back. Don't be too hard on yourself! Good look.

 

[eggyg]

Welcome back. You know you can come on here and we won’t judge. I don’t think we have any paragon of virtue on the forum! As has been said having a baby is a full time and more job, diabetes is also a full time job, sometimes you have to chose which to deal with first. Eris has been your priority these last few months and quite rightly so, you went through a lot to get to this stage. Now Eris is maybe not as needy, the priority can be you for a change. You can and will do it with our help! Gorgeous little girl BTW. PS I bet your hba1c isn’t as bad as you think. Good luck. 🙂

 

[everydayupsanddowns]

Big hugs to you @merrymunky

As others have said it’s important to be kind and compassionate to yourself. There are times in life where ‘diabetes lives with you, you don’t live with it’ means that you aren’t in a position to put it first.

But importantly you have decided that you can now move phases.

Please don’t think of what you have done as a failure. A cycle of negative thoughts won’t help. Instead be proud of yourself and your new determination to bring a new focus to your diabetes management.

And you have lots of positive motivation to look after yourself because of Eris. I hope you get bags of renewed energy as your BG levels return closer to where you’d like them, and the weight you’ve gained melts away at the same time.

 

[Sharron1]

Hi all,

As you can probably tell by my absence here over the last few months I have been neglecting my duty to look after myself living with this condition.
After giving birth I promised myself two weeks off to just enjoy some naughty foods while I adjusted to parent life.

Almost five months down the line (HOW has it gone so fast?!) and I am not in a good way physically. I have gained over two stone since giving birth and I haven’t been testing or diet controlling this diabetes.

It’s safe to say I have started to feed the effects. For the last two weeks I have found myself feeling short of breath, I’ve had headaches and light headedness. I did a finger prick test after breakfast this morning snd the reading was 14.2. I was shocked. I’ve never been that high before.

I called the doctor today to discuss my symptoms and to request an hba1c to see exactly how badly I have fallen off the wagon. I expect my number will be as high as it was when I started this journey, if not higher.

I’m quite ashamed of myself for letting it get so out of control that I feel poorly. I just wish I didn’t love all things carb!

So here I am with my tail well and truly between my legs pledging to face up to this once I’ve had a good old cry about how high my hba1c has claimed again tomorrow. I fought so hard to get myself in a good place. Now I have Eris it is so important that I stay well for her.

I would beg for help but I know the only one who can help me is myself.

Hi, Don't be so hard on yourself, these things happens. As well as new adorable baby there is so.much stuff going on. I am sure you will get back on track, even if there are a few blips along the way. Stay safe and the offer is still open, should you ever want a new home for your eminently kissable baby... although judging from the pics I expect there is quite a queue

 

[KARNAK]

Hello @merrymunky Eris gets more beautiful as she grows,
as been said back to control now well done, lots of {{{Hugs}}}.

Oh we better call off the search party.🙂 xx