The thing about managing diabetes with insulin is that we are given guidance when we start to keep us safe whilst we are learning how to do the basics. Once you have got the hang of the everyday stuff and start to get into a routine of injecting and counting carbs etc, then you can start to fine tune things to your body.
It is unlikely that anyone would end up hypo from injecting Novo Rapid 10 mins before they eat, so that is a safe starting point, but many people need longer than that. Once you feel ready to start experimenting, choose one meal, perhaps breakfast on a weekend when you are under less pressure of getting to work etc and try increasing it by 5 mins if you always spike high after breakfast and see how you get on with that. If you continue to spike high, try 20 mins and see how that works out. Gradually you will find a timing which works for you. To give you an idea of just how different we all are, 10 mins does work for some people but I ended up needing 75 mins prebolus time with NovoRapid at breakfast most mornings, which was just silly so I changed to a quicker insulin called Fiasp. I still often need 45 mins between injecting and eating breakfast but other times of day I usually just need 10-20mins. We are all different and also the time of day makes a difference and sometimes the type of meal we are about to eat. I don't want to confuse you too much at this stage, but start to do some careful experimenting to see if you can reduce the spike a bit by increasing it a few mins every few days until you find what works for you.
As regards your meal ratio of 1:20 again, that is probably the nurses erring on the side of caution. I was started on 1:10, but perhaps you are very slim and petite whereas I am quite muscular and stocky, so that can make a difference to how much you need. Are you back down to your premeal reading by the next meal or are your levels progressively increasing through the day, so that your pre lunch reading is higher than your pre breakfast reading and your pre tea reading is higher than before lunch? That would indicate that either your ratio is wrong or your basal insulin isn't enough to hold you steady through the day.
Are you doing correction doses with insulin to bring your levels back down if your pre lunch meal for example is above target? Have you been given a correction factor, for instance that 1 unit of insulin will drop you 4 mmols for example...... so that if you are on say 10 before lunch, a single correction unit should bring you down to a BG of 6mmol and you would add that to your calculated mealtime bolus, so if you were having 40g carbs with a ratio of 1:20, you would have 2 units for lunch plus the correction unit so that hopefully you end up around about 6mmols before tea, assuming your ratio is correct. Does that make sense? If not please ask me to explain again.
Can you post a typical photo of a day's Libre graph showing the peaks you are concerned about. I used to spike up to 15 more or less every morning after breakfast and then crash back down to about 5 about 2-3 hours later until I started adjusting(extending) my prebolus timing and now I mostly don't spike above 8..... but it does take time and practice to find what works for you as an individual. Eventually, with careful experimentation, you will become the expert in your own diabetes and yopu will be able to tell the nurses how much prebolus time you actually need rather than them giving you advice. My consultant was horrified when I told him I still need 45 mins with Fiasp at breakfast, but he can't argue with my graphs.... or that I do actually need that long although just recently it has been reducing..... which is another thing to be aware of. Diabetes doesn't stay the same for long... and it is a case of getting ratios and timings just right and having some great results for a few months or maybe even years and then it all goes to pot and you have to overhaul your management and find new ratios/strategies/timings or basal doses.... which is why we need to become the experts because the nurses can't be there to constantly tell us where things need tweaking. Once you have had your DAFNE course or whatever your local equivalent is, you will have more confidence to do this.... or at least I did.