I have to rein in my natural enthusiasm on this thread
@phil90 as it is so different in every possible way from my own way of eating.
I do not count anything but the grams of carb as I can and do trust my body to sort itself out as best for me. You of course have a whole other level of management to contend with.
I eat fats from natural sources, what comes along with the meat, fish etc after it is cooked - sometimes a food will lose fat, and sometimes gain a little. I use very small amounts of butter and olive oil and so need to put butter in the freezer to keep it fresh.
I am not sure what you mean by people on low carb groups telling you that you need to keep your levels at 4.9% - levels of what?
I found that by eating low carb I did not need to be concerned about anything - I eat meals which have a similar impact on my blood glucose every day, and if I decided to have an ice cream, which I did during the heatwave, then I simply did not have carbs with my meal later that day. I know that you can't be so free with the timings when you eat, but if you are concerned about such things as the biscuit you took home, could you not simply substitute for carbs in your evening meal and so keep you need for insulin about the same?
I do see from how you write that you do not feel you can be in control of your diabetes and how others react to you, even if they know your situation, yet if we'd been discussing the situation I'd have suggested either dropping the biscuit in a bin on the way home, eating it and compensating with more insulin, eating it and compensating with fewer carbs in the meal or some other ploy, because you really do have options which you can choose for yourself from your own knowledge, but your beliefs seem to be restricting you. I hope I am not too frank for your comfort. I only want to encourage you to find out that you can look after yourself better than any other person if you apply the knowledge you have gained for yourself.