Unromantic

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Ok ,no one is getting it.
Try this, I am going out now, not going to check blood or take carbs or insulin with me might be gone an hour or maybe 2days or tell anyone where's I'm going.
I've suddenly been invited to go climb the Alps , leaving tomorrow morning
That's spontaneous .
Spontaneity is saying yes to something and doing it right away,no planning, nothing.
Do That as a type 1, your f**ked
 
Jenny65 said:
Thank you for explaining, so would you need to eat beforehand?

The main problem with spontaneous sex in my life, is I haven't got anyone to have it with :(

@Vonny - I used to avoid sex with my ex, I remember taking my children into bed with me, so he couldnt join me, I thought it was just sex (I was exhausted looking after 3 under 5s) but when we split up 28 years later I met someone else and wanted it all the time, (I was 48 so not a spring chicken), sadly that relationship didn't end well either after 7 years (not sex avoidance related) - I wonder if it's the person or the act that makes us not want it, although my friend is in her late 50s and her husband is 10 years older, he has a bad back and can't move and she told me when they go to bed he puts pillows down the middle of the bed to keep them apart. They love each other but dont lust after each other. Sorry gone of subject here.
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It has been 15 years for me, not because of diabetes, so have quite a backlog
 
spell said:
Ok ,no one is getting it.
Try this, I am going out now, not going to check blood or take carbs or insulin with me might be gone an hour or maybe 2days or tell anyone where's I'm going.
I've suddenly been invited to go climb the Alps , leaving tomorrow morning
That's spontaneous .
Spontaneity is saying yes to something and doing it right away,no planning, nothing.
Do That as a type 1, your f**ked
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But how spontaneous is spontaneous, really? If I was going out and didn’t know if I was going to be 2 hours or 2 days, I’d never leave home without a clean tissue, a credit card, my house keys, my phone etc, so adding a Libre reader an insulin pen, and a packet of jelly babies, to me, isn’t that big a deal. If I was going to climb the alps, I’d pack boots and a walking pole, not to mention a toothbrush!
 
Robin said:
But how spontaneous is spontaneous, really? If I was going out and didn’t know if I was going to be 2 hours or 2 days, I’d never leave home without a clean tissue, a credit card, my house keys, my phone etc, so adding a Libre reader an insulin pen, and a packet of jelly babies, to me, isn’t that big a deal. If I was going to climb the alps, I’d pack boots and a walking pole, not to mention a toothbrush!
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And all the hassle of hiring a retinue of reliable sherpas.
 
spell said:
K think I will forget this post as no one seems to get the point
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I think we do get what you’re saying, but what we are saying is, it doesn’t have to be like that. If you turn the thinking on its head, and compare it with things that we do automatically before we do anything ‘spontaneous', then going out prepared for our diabetes becomes just another routine act.
Perhaps a better analogy is when you first have a small baby to look after. Suddenly, even making a cup of tea takes planning, and you wonder if you’ll ever be organised enough to get out of the house again. But little by little, you learn to have the nappy bag organised and by the front door, or a safe playpen to pop the screaming infant in while you go to the loo, or a high shelf to put hot cups of tea, and it becomes part of the routine. True, life is never the same again, but it’s just a different life to the one you had before, and any excursion or spontaneous act, is a small victory.
 
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Robin said:
I think we do get what you’re saying, but what we are saying is, it doesn’t have to be like that. If you turn the thinking on its head, and compare it with things that we do automatically before we do anything ‘spontaneous', then going out prepared for our diabetes becomes just another routine act.
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Think I'll just go scream into the void
 
I really think that it is your perspective which is the problem. Nothing in life is perfect or straightforward whether diabetes related or not. We have to make the best of it and find ways to manage the challenges and often we get a sense of achievement from overcoming those challenges..... even if it is just something simple like waking up with a good BG level You don't seem to want to even accept that these challenges can be overcome. You just seem to want to sulk and blame the diabetes and make everyone else's life more difficult and feel sorry for yourself.
Only you can decide when/if you are ready to move on from this and start living and giving some consideration to other people, particularly those close to you instead of just thinking about yourself and being hateful.... and I mean that in the literal sense of being full of hate.... because that hate doesn't just affect you or those close to you but everyone you come into contact with, as you seem to be aware!

Try to just say one pleasant or positive thing a day instead of all the negative and then start making a habit of it.
 
spell said:
Think I'll just go scream into the void
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Ok, so I’ve magicked away your Type 1 - can you now be totally spontaneous? No, you can’t. You still need to do prep for your hypothetical trip to the Alps: passport, cash, phone and charger, credit card, insurance, clothes and toiletries, getting to the airport, airport parking, accommodation, etc etc.

But the diabetes adds more prep, you say? Yes, it does - that’s true. But your problem IMO isn’t the diabetes prep, it’s the fact that your diabetes has been allowed to grow so that it’s so massive it’s blocking your perspective and has completely taken over. You can’t make it disappear but you can try to relegate it a little and put it back in its box.

So - back to your Alps trip - you’ll have to add packing your meter/Libre, test strips, pods, glucose, but that’s ok. Maybe the person you’re going with doesn’t have Type 1 and doesn’t have to do this, but you have two ways of dealing with that:

1) Spend your whole time in the Alps, mulling over how much you hate diabetes; how it’s not fair your friend Bob doesn’t have to bring all the diabetes cr*p with him; let the Type 1 take over your thoughts and affect your mood so you can’t even enjoy the scenery…

2) Or you can accept you can’t change the fact you have diabetes, allow yourself to have a brief moan at it while you’re packing - then keep it in the back of your mind and put enjoying your holiday at the forefront.

I know which I’d choose…
 
@everydayupsanddowns mentioned Mindfulness in one of your threads. It’s something I’ve found really useful and calming in times of stress. It can help change your way of looking at things. Here are two quotes that might help:

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Inka said:
Ok, so I’ve magicked away your Type 1 - can you now be totally spontaneous? No, you can’t. You still need to do prep for your hypothetical trip to the Alps: passport, cash, phone and charger, credit card, insurance, clothes and toiletries, getting to the airport, airport parking, accommodation, etc etc.

But the diabetes adds more prep, you say? Yes, it does - that’s true. But your problem IMO isn’t the diabetes prep, it’s the fact that your diabetes has been allowed to grow so that it’s so massive it’s blocking your perspective and has completely taken over. You can’t make it disappear but you can try to relegate it a little and put it back in its box.

So - back to your Alps trip - you’ll have to add packing your meter/Libre, test strips, pods, glucose, but that’s ok. Maybe the person you’re going with doesn’t have Type 1 and doesn’t have to do this, but you have two ways of dealing with that:

1) Spend your whole time in the Alps, mulling over how much you hate diabetes; how it’s not fair your friend Bob doesn’t have to bring all the diabetes cr*p with him; let the Type 1 take over your thoughts and affect your mood so you can’t even enjoy the scenery…

2) Or you can accept you can’t change the fact you have diabetes, allow yourself to have a brief moan at it while you’re packing - then keep it in the back of your mind and put enjoying your holiday at the forefront.

I know which I’d choose…
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The first one right?
 
The “planning“ thing came into focus when I went sailing with my partner at short notice. He does not have diabetes. He has hayfever which is pretty common although I don’t suffer from it . He suffers from motion sickness.
I packed insulin and test strips.
He took hayfever tablets and seasickness tablets.
We both slathered ourselves with sunscreen.

And we didn’t have to worry about kids.

Who had to plan the most? Who struggled most with spontaneity?

Does diabetes cause much trouble compared with “normal living”?
 
@spell The first option is what you’d do, yes - and what benefits will that bring you? You’ll ruin your enjoyment of the trip and you’ll ruin Bob’s pleasure too. That’s your MO. I think you do it as a defence mechanism. Why not experiment a bit and not do that?
 
helli said:
The “planning“ thing came into focus when I went sailing with my partner at short notice. He does not have diabetes. He has hayfever which is pretty common although I don’t suffer from it . He suffers from motion sickness.
I packed insulin and test strips.
He took hayfever tablets and seasickness tablets.
We both slathered ourselves with sunscreen.

And we didn’t have to worry about kids.

Who had to plan the most? Who struggled most with spontaneity?

Does diabetes cause much trouble compared with “normal living”?
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Well it does with me
Inka said:
You can’t change what happens/happened to you, but you can change your reaction to it.
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But what has happen/happened to me has made me what I am now
 
To be clear, the bit above about concentrating on the present moment, doesn’t mean sitting and brewing over things or spending your time angry at the world, it means be truly present in whatever you’re doing. If bad/negative thoughts come to you, you acknowledge them but see those thoughts as clouds passing by. It’s a way of calming yourself and being in the moment.
 
spell said:
Well it does with me

But what has happen/happened to me has made me what I am now
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No, your reaction to it doesn’t dictate who you are. You are you, and your reaction isn’t set in stone nor is it an innate part of you. You can change your reaction.
 
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