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Terrible terrible jokes!

My neighbors banged on my door at 3:30 am last night. Can you believe that? Luckily, I was still up, playing my guitar. They shouted "how about a little respect?"
I said, "honestly I'm not a big Aretha Franklin fan, but okay. This one's for you!"
 
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Why did Cinderella get kicked off the football team? Because she kept running from the ball!

How did Darth Vader know what Luke got him for Christmas? He felt his presents!

I just watched a documentary about beavers. It was the best dam show I ever saw!
 
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.

A computer once beat me at chess. But it was no match for me at kickboxing.

If you want to find out who loves you more, stick your wife and dog in the trunk of your car for an hour. When you open the trunk, which one is happy to see you?
 
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.

Where do polar bears keep their money? In a snowbank.

What did the triangle say to the circle? You’re pointless.
 
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