Back in August, post number 20, you said, "I do have a psychologist for diabetes but I haven't yet seen them." ... Have you seen him/her yet?
If not, and you can see him/her soon-- do! The whole point of psychologists is to help you change your mind set when you feel you can't.
If you haven't seen the psychologist yet because you're on a waiting list-- talk to your DSN about how you're feeling. Talking to us is good! But talking to your DSN is even better; they have a lot of training and understanding about 'diabetes distress'.
If you have seen the psychologist-- how has that been?
Regarding pumps: I agree with Inka that a pump could help you psychologically, especially a 'closed loop system'-- one where your glucose monitor 'talks to' the pump, and the pump adjusts your insulin according to what your glucose monitor is saying. That would, as Inka says, "lift the burden a bit"; and making things a bit easier in practical terms could make a big difference to how you feel and how well you can manage psychologically.
Regarding the criteria for getting a pump on the NHS: I think you could be said to meet the official criteria, and also I have heard that the official criteria are not always very strictly applied ... Others may be able to provide more information about this?
Finally-- agree with everyone who has emphasised how important it is to take one day at a time, and don't beat yourself up.
Oh, and cheese is one of our best friends. ; ) All best wishes!
