Support type 1 diabetes

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Really sorry you are struggling. If you absolutely can't bring yourself to inject your insulin then you need to be in hospital, so please get yourself to A&E pronto for the help that you clearly need. Please let us know how you get on but the options are inject your insulin or head to hospital before it is too late. Sending you (((HUGS))))
 
Ali11782 said:
I just want freedom, control. I feel I have none. Things aren't great in some areas of life I guess. I've always used to food to cope and now I can't so it's just been easier to stop the insulin.
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It’s not a good coping strategy as I’m sure you know, but you can still use food - as long as you take the insulin for it. Ice cream, cake, chocolate - nothing is forbidden. You do need to control the quantities though, but you can allow yourself those foods.

Although stopping the insulin feels like control, it’s not really because it’s not the insulin that’s the problem. It’s the diabetes. You want that to disappear into the background and get out of your face? The way to do that is by controlling it, and the insulin is your tool, your magic wand. Every time you take it and get reasonable control, you get one over on the diabetes.
 
Ali11782 said:
I don't feel I will have control over my weight.
I know you are right @Lucyr. I just don't feel like me at the moment. I do have a psychologist for diabetes but I haven't yet seen them.
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Keeping your blood sugar reasonably ok will help. Both lows and highs can cause quite abnormal hunger and make controlling your eating harder. Keeping your blood sugar steady-ish will mean the diabetes isn’t interfering with your normal hunger/eating.
 
Yes - simple to say but harder to do xx

Don’t let it win. I’m no stronger than you. In fact, in many ways I’m weak. I know it’s a pain and I hate it with a passion, but push on one step at a time, one day at a time.
 
So blood sugar 21.5 this morning and ketones 0.8. why can't I just take insulin. It is so easy to do but I just can't bring myself to inject
 
You have to make yourself @Ali11782 With ketones at that level you’re at increased risk of DKA. To be clear, DKA can be fatal.
 
Ali11782 said:
So blood sugar 21.5 this morning and ketones 0.8. why can't I just take insulin. It is so easy to do but I just can't bring myself to inject
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Hi there @Ali11782. I’m so sorry to hear how tough you are finding things at the moment - and so glad you have managed to let someone (us) know about it. Is there any way you could build from this to let someone ‘in real life’ know that you are struggling, as soon as possible? Even if you don’t try to explain the whole thing but just ask someone that cares about you to help you call your GP or DSN urgently, so that you can get the help you need to keep you safe?
From what you said earlier about some of your struggles with food and eating earlier in life, it sounds like your brain has slotted back into an old type of coping mechanism - which will be making it really tricky to do what you need and which doesn’t respond to a just ‘snap out of it’ approach. Longer term it sounds like getting to speak to that psychologist would be really useful to help with this, but right now I really hope you can draw on all the courage it’s taken to share on here how you’re really feeling and try to get some immediate help to keep safe. Thinking of you.
 
Thank you everyone for your support.
I think a large part of my problem is I don't feel like I am real type 1 diabetic. sounds bizzare but I've never been really I'll with it and in my head a type 1 can control their eating habits. I just can't. I want to be the one who manages to eat three meals a day with a couple of snacks when needed. Take my insulin and get it right. But I'm failure.
 
Please go to A&E @Ali11782 and be really honest with them. Let them know how difficult you are finding things and how not taking insulin is the result (even though you know this will cause you major problems very soon).

There will be no judgement there. They will want to help you.

Or call the Samaritans:
Whatever you're going through, a Samaritan will face it with you. We're here 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. Call them on 116 123, free of charge.

You can also call the DUK helpline Mon-Fri 9-6 0345 123 2399.

But please don’t wait. You can see the direction your numbers are going, and it will not be long at all before something really serious and unpleasant could happen. DKA really isn’t something to take on - and you can avoid it. We believe in you.
 
I’m also wondering if there is anyone nearby you could confide in, who might be able to help you with this - or even might actually do the administration of the injection so you didn’t have to? A family member, or close friend?
 
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@Ali11782 I didn’t feel that ill when the emergency doctor called an ambulance for me. I thought he was overreacting. However, I was very close to DKA, was admitted to hospital and diagnosed Type 1.

People here are no better, no more able, no cleverer, no more organised than you. I can’t stress enough how disorganised and how hopeless I can be sometimes. You’re just as capable as anyone here. Please get some support today.
 
Hi @Ali11782 I hope you're ok today.

I was in a similar position about 30 years back, I just didn't know how to overcome the feelings I had for T1 and I didn't know how to get to a happier place .I thought everyone else with diabetes - not that I knew anyone else - had a row of excellent in target readings, breezed through the day counting carbs, injecting the right insulin dose and accepting this condition which I felt an absolute failure at.

As said above, please contact someone who can help you with your diabetes today - gp, nurse, diabetes clinic. You are absolutely not the first person to have such struggles with injecting and all the emotions that surround it. They will be infinitely happier to help you get to a better place with it all sooner and put diabetes back in its box than try to patch up the pieces further down the line. Diabetes doesn't care if you're not in a position to care for it, it's a relentless condition and we all need help to keep it in its place and not be overwhelmed or damaged by it.

I wish you well, we're all here to help and many have been through similar situations. There is good help out there even if it might take a bit of finding. Please ask for the help you need and deserve and let us know how things are going.
 
Flower said:
Hi @Ali11782 I hope you're ok today.

I was in a similar position about 30 years back, I just didn't know how to overcome the feelings I had for T1 and I didn't know how to get to a happier place .I thought everyone else with diabetes - not that I knew anyone else - had a row of excellent in target readings, breezed through the day counting carbs, injecting the right insulin dose and accepting this condition which I felt an absolute failure at.

As said above, please contact someone who can help you with your diabetes today - gp, nurse, diabetes clinic. You are absolutely not the first person to have such struggles with injecting and all the emotions that surround it. They will be infinitely happier to help you get to a better place with it all sooner and put diabetes back in its box than try to patch up the pieces further down the line. Diabetes doesn't care if you're not in a position to care for it, it's a relentless condition and we all need help to keep it in its place and not be overwhelmed or damaged by it.

I wish you well, we're all here to help and many have been through similar situations. There is good help out there even if it might take a bit of finding. Please ask for the help you need and deserve and let us know how things are going.
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Thanks.
Do you know what is hard..I spend a lot of time in the office with people who have the sweetie box out all day and they just constantly eating out of it, or they are getting lunch delivered or its someone birthday etc. Its all about food. I don't want to eat what they are eating but I feel I am missing out even though I know if be the better one eating healthy and I love healthy food. I'm almost angry, why can they do it but I can't.
 
Anger is natural @Ali11782 I remember walking around the supermarket, looking at all the foods that were ‘bad’ and feeling very angry. When I was admitted to hospital with Type 1, the others on my ward kept ordering takeaways and I couldn’t have anything. It’s ok to feel royally p*ssed off.
 
If it's of any help I too struggle with food, diabetes T2, plus other health conditions and sometimes it can be overwhelming, just pick a goal, just one, keep it simple, and work on that, don't try to change everything in one go, just one thing at a time, all the best to you, and don't be hard on yourself
 
Thank you everyone for your support. I've taken my background insulin and five units (my finger prick was saying HI so hopefully I'll see where that come down to). Try and start a fresh
 
Well done, it's a start. Baby steps...that's how I got myself on track.
 
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