Struggling

[Sunshine69]

Hi there,

Im new to the forum and need some advice on how to help my husband with his mood swings / angry episodes due to his diabetic highs and lows. How common is it for a type 1 diabetics to have such anger issues and mood swings, we have been together for over 25 years and I am struggling to cope with his behaviour, I love him and want to support him but I am worn out an feeling depressed. Is this common, I welcome any advice thank you.

 

[nonethewiser]

Easy to blame diabetes, may well be he's just has depression, it can happen to all of us no matter what health is like.

If its recent thing then could be condition called diabetes burnout, use Google to see if symptoms fit.

 

[Inka]

How long has he had diabetes @Sunshine69 ? And has he always been like this or is this a recent development? Has anything changed that would affect his blood sugars and stress levels eg a new job, illness, etc etc?

 

[everydayupsanddowns]

Welcome to the forum @Sunshine69

Sorry to hear about the impact your husband’s diabetes is having on his mood, and how that is affecting you

The first thing to say is that you are not alone - over the years many other concerned partners have joined and asked just the same question.

There are physiological and psychological aspects. Both high and low blood glucose levels can adversely affect the brain, and change mood. Plus swinging from high to low and beck again, when you are trying your hardest to ‘get things right’ can be immensely frustrating. It’s a double-whammy.

Diabetes is a relentless condition, and as others are saying perhaps one of the drivers behind his mood swings is diabetes burnout. Constantly having to double-think every food decision and juggle the 42 factors that can affect blood glucose levels… with never a day off or break from it… and it not being anything he chose in the first place.

But it isn’t fair for you to bear this burden. His diabetes is his responsibility, and while you will want to help and support him through the challenges and difficult times, he needs to find a way to manage his condition (and his mood) in a way that is kind, caring and loving to you.

So yes, diabetes is a swine to live with at times, but it should be manageable with a little adaptation, some care and attention, and doesn’t mean he has liberty to fly off the handle all the time, or lash out at those who love him.

Has he ever been on a course to help his diabetes management (like DAFNE or a local equivalent)? Does he count carbohydrates and balance his insulin doses? Is he being careful with food to try to limit glucose variability?

 

[rebrascora]

Hi and welcome from me too.

If these mood swings are related to his diabetes and they are when his levels are high and low then he needs help to manage his diabetes better because it doesn't have to be like that and neither of you deserve to suffer for it, so he needs to get some support, education and/or tech to help him manage his levels better. Joining this forum would also help him because here we all know how frustrating it is, so it is a good place to let off steam but we also share tips to improve blood glucose management and help to prevent the peaks and troughs which can make us feel so rubbish.... (angry, hungry, tired, frustrated etc)

Can I ask, how long has he been diagnosed and does he have Freestyle Libre sensors on prescription to help him monitor his levels. If he has been diagnosed a long time he may be using old fashioned insulins and he might benefit from an overhaul of his regime, which I know would be a scary prospect for him but we have had a few members join recently wh have been in that situation and now wish they had changed sooner. Do you know which insulins he uses?
Is he under the care of his GP or a diabetes clinic with a consultant? Again some longer standing diabetics were referred back to GP care and have been left to their own devices for too long when massive progress has been made in technology that GPs are just unaware of.

It is important to stress to your husband that he is not to blame for this situation but he can do something about it by getting some help and support from specialist diabetes team (not a GP or practice nurse) and being open about learning to manage things better. Your quality of life and his can be so much better if he can get some support to level out the roller coaster he is, by the sound of it, currently on.

 

[Sunshine69]

Welcome to the forum @Sunshine69

Sorry to hear about the impact your husband’s diabetes is having on his mood, and how that is affecting you

The first thing to say is that you are not alone - over the years many other concerned partners have joined and asked just the same question.

There are physiological and psychological aspects. Both high and low blood glucose levels can adversely affect the brain, and change mood. Plus swinging from high to low and beck again, when you are trying your hardest to ‘get things right’ can be immensely frustrating. It’s a double-whammy.

Diabetes is a relentless condition, and as others are saying perhaps one of the drivers behind his mood swings is diabetes burnout. Constantly having to double-think every food decision and juggle the 42 factors that can affect blood glucose levels… with never a day off or break from it… and it not being anything he chose in the first place.

But it isn’t fair for you to bear this burden. His diabetes is his responsibility, and while you will want to help and support him through the challenges and difficult times, he needs to find a way to manage his condition (and his mood) in a way that is kind, caring and loving to you.

So yes, diabetes is a swine to live with at times, but it should be manageable with a little adaptation, some care and attention, and doesn’t mean he has liberty to fly off the handle all the time, or lash out at those who love him.

Has he ever been on a course to help his diabetes management (like DAFNE or a local equivalent)? Does he count carbohydrates and balance his insulin doses? Is he being careful with food to try to limit glucose variability?

Thank you your advice helps.

 

[Sunshine69]

Hi and welcome from me too.

If these mood swings are related to his diabetes and they are when his levels are high and low then he needs help to manage his diabetes better because it doesn't have to be like that and neither of you deserve to suffer for it, so he needs to get some support, education and/or tech to help him manage his levels better. Joining this forum would also help him because here we all know how frustrating it is, so it is a good place to let off steam but we also share tips to improve blood glucose management and help to prevent the peaks and troughs which can make us feel so rubbish.... (angry, hungry, tired, frustrated etc)

Can I ask, how long has he been diagnosed and does he have Freestyle Libre sensors on prescription to help him monitor his levels. If he has been diagnosed a long time he may be using old fashioned insulins and he might benefit from an overhaul of his regime, which I know would be a scary prospect for him but we have had a few members join recently wh have been in that situation and now wish they had changed sooner. Do you know which insulins he uses?
Is he under the care of his GP or a diabetes clinic with a consultant? Again some longer standing diabetics were referred back to GP care and have been left to their own devices for too long when massive progress has been made in technology that GPs are just unaware of.

It is important to stress to your husband that he is not to blame for this situation but he can do something about it by getting some help and support from specialist diabetes team (not a GP or practice nurse) and being open about learning to manage things better. Your quality of life and his can be so much better if he can get some support to level out the roller coaster he is, by the sound of it, currently on.

Thank you Barbara, his been a diabetic for about 35 years we have been together for 30 of those. His on tresiba and humalog and finally been given Libra 2 which I’m not sure is a help or Hinderance! I just want to know if this is common the mood swings, irritability etc, someone said to me recently it wasn’t his diabetes it was him so I’m confused!

 

[Bruce Stephens]

I just want to know if this is common the mood swings, irritability etc, someone said to me recently it wasn’t his diabetes it was him so I’m confused!

Can be diabetes. High and low blood glucose can change mood (as can quickly changing blood glucose).

Also sometimes just the demands of managing the condition can be nearly overwhelming and that can result in outbursts. It's just hard work, and people who don't personally have the condition don't (we think, probably correctly) really get it.

(It might also just be him, of course. People vary.)

 

[everydayupsanddowns]

I just want to know if this is common the mood swings, irritability etc, someone said to me recently it wasn’t his diabetes it was him so I’m confused!

It happens, but if it’s not a rare event it suggests to me that something is wrong somewhere. And either he needs to get more help and support managing his diabetes, or managing his mood, or managing them both together.

Sounds pretty tough for you both.

 

[rebrascora]

Thank you Barbara, his been a diabetic for about 35 years we have been together for 30 of those. His on tresiba and humalog and finally been given Libra 2 which I’m not sure is a help or Hinderance! I just want to know if this is common the mood swings, irritability etc, someone said to me recently it wasn’t his diabetes it was him so I’m confused!

Well, it is good to know that he is at least on reasonably modern insulins. Having been diagnosed a long time, I wonder if he has been bypassed for an intensive education course like DAFNE which would help to pinpoint difficulties he is having and learn how to fix them. It is a great course, but he has to be open to attending and it is a week long course.

The first thing to do would be to establish if his irritability/aggression is linked to when his levels are high or low or both and whether he is more even tempered when in range. The next thing to do would to be try to figure out if he is suffering from Diabetes burnout, where it has all got too much for him to cope and he is just not taking his insulin regularly or is becoming depressed and can't see a way to continue and that is causing outbursts.

What sort of problems is the Libre throwing up? Is it highlighting problems with his diabetes management or is it that the sensor is not reliable or giving false alarms etc?

Can you give us an example of the behaviour/outbursts which are causing concern, so that we can understand the situation a little better. Some people do even get violent when their levels drop too low and it is very important to get help to prevent the lows if that is the case, but preventing hypos should be a priority anyway. The brain and body starts to shut down when there is insufficient glucose and as a result people's control of themselves will reduce, and that can be both physically and emotionally.

The more information you can give us about your situation the better we can understand and suggest appropriate solutions...

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