Hi Tyler 🙂
I can relate to a lot of what you're saying - it's not something anyone would ever voluntarily sign up for & can be a lot to deal with even without depression in the mix. If your sugar levels aren't fairly steady at a reasonable level that will make you feel worse emotionally too, it can be a bit of a viscious cycle.
It might be worth speaking to your dsn & asking if you can access some specialist help via your clinic to address bith how to manage your diabetes & how you feel about it. In terms of tools to deal with diabetes a dafne course will probably be a big help - for me it was like someone finally switched the lights on about multiple daily injections / mdi & gave me some rules to go bybthat regularly worked! In terms of how you feel about it I believe that most clinics should provide access to psychiatric help these days I think in the form of counselling...failing that your gp might be able to help by getting you some therapy like cbt (cognitive behavioural therapy), where you can be helped to change the way you looks at things. I'm doing cbt at the mo, I was very cynical at first but actually, it does seem to help (shock horror lol).
In the meantime, it might be worth setting yourself a basic menu for a few days to see if you can then spot a pattern - eg stick to 2 weetabix & milk for breakfast, a 2 slice sandwich & medium apple for lunch & say a set weight of boiled potatoes (+ meat & veg) for tea just to give an idea, that way you'd only need to figure out the carb values once...you could have non carby snacks (cheese, cold meat, salad etc) between meals as this shouldn't dramatically affect your levels. at least this way there would be less variables so it might be easier to spot patterns?
Whatever you do feel free to let off steam here - it's a support forum after all & we're here to try & encourage each other. 🙂 Take care x
