Oh okay, yes I’m from Canada, there are no forums like this here in Canada. I’m having a hard time with doctors, my story is long. I will tell you a little, when I was diagnosed 11 years ago on Sept 11th of all days to be diagnosed, the day the towers were attacked in the US. Anyways I was in shock days after my diagnosis, and quite scared, so about a a few weeks into my diagnosis, I made an appointment with my doctor to tell him how I was feeling, and in tears in his office, he asked how my mood was, and I said down and scared, I was not depressed, he just handed me a sample pack of an antideressant called Pristq 50mg. He said I was depressed so I trusted him and thought if he says I’m depressed I must be depressed he’s the doctor, he was a newish doctor to me my old doctor passed away. So I trusted I was depressed. Well I did not feel good at all on this medication very groggy, so I went back to him and he said take it at night, so I did well I was wide awake all night the darn meds cause insomnia to. So I went back he told my to suck it up, I was shocked I didn’t have words. I ended up in hospital told them I can’t sleep but at this time I didnt know they cause insomnia, I talked to a psychiatrist I was so tired and crying because no sleep, I also told the psychiat that I was just diagnosed with diabetes and he more less said you will be fine lots of people live with diabetes they gave me a sleeping pill called Zoplicone, I sure slept. I stayed there in psych for a few weeks. But know support for a person diagnosed with diabetes I was in tears. Just plain scared that’s what made me cry, the fear. I had already changed my diet and didn’t like it I was so hungry, and craving something sweet, they did have a diet there for people with diabetes that came on a tray with my name on it, I felt kind of left out other patients were getting ther meals served from like a caffatiera, type thing and lots of yummy food, it made me feel worse, I want that food and I know I could have some that was on the menu there, but they said you have to eat what’s on the tray we give you tuna sandwich and some fruit, I was so sick of tuna sandwiches, and very small portions at dinner time, at this time when in hospital, I had lost some of my weight. But I know I was so overwhelmed and fear. I was doing this by excercise and diet no medications and still am to this day. But the medications I was on was causing havoc on my sleep. Anyways with Zoplicone your only suppose to be taking this for short term. Well when I came home I was still taking these meds which were okay everthing was fine till I developed intolerance to the sleep med, which means your body builds tolerance and they quit working, also my husband didn’t support me on the emotional side of diabetes which is such a missing link in diabetes support. He said your fine your A1 cs are good, blah blah but I was scared to stay home alone in case I had a low, full of anxiety. And a antidepressant that was causing weird side effects, so back to the doctors he put me on Ativan take when needed it helped,my panic and took only when needed. But something changed I think I was building tolerance to this to it didn’t work as good, so off that and put on clonazapam low dose.Actually I was taking both Ativan during the day just one, then clonazapam at night with antidepressant Pristq.
All along I know I had Diabetes distress not depression. So currently taking Effexor xr .75mg way to strong, and working with a psychiatrist to try to lower the dose and maybe eventually get off the drug and pray a lot that I don’t go through withdrawl. The on that really scares me is getting off clonazapam, which is a benzodiazapine that are very difficult to get off of. My doctor did not tell me that benzos are only suppose to be on for two to four weeks, I have been on this for almost 11 years! the withdrawl is horrible I tried once and my legs were so weak. So the bottom line is I had absolutely no emotional support at all from my doctor or family. And now my husband has diabetes and won’t listen to me about diet so more stress. That’s all it’s been for the last ten years, my mom passed away 2015 from cancer very unexpected so I’m grieving her so much, and very alone in this to, and my husbands brother died by suicide 2018, and my other brother in-law died by cancer last year which is my husbands other brother. So all this has caused me not to sleep again. We just settled my moms estate so the grief is very intense right now last December, November we had to go through all her belongings and put her house up for sale, that has been real difficult. It sold and getting an inheritance isn’t the same as having my mom here, so many things and no where to turn.
