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Partner Sad News

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This thread is now closed. Please contact Anna DUK, Ieva DUK or everydayupsanddowns if you would like it re-opened.
Hope you managed to get something from the GP to settle you a bit and perhaps help you sleep. Thinking of you and sending more (((hugs))).
 
many thanks rebrascora i have telephoned the doctors and am waiting for a call back.

at least someone has now offered to help which takes some pressure off.

not sure what the policy is of other hospitals when seeing loved ones, ours has totally stopped visitors but when someone is dying and you can't even be there for them is so not good.

think there have been a few news articles about the above. the trouble is if they have covid then it is high risk and look at the staff going down like flies. such a major problem for many.
 
I can't begin to imagine how heartbreaking and devastating it must be not to be able to be with a loved one at the end when you know there is no hope (or even when you don't know but the risk is there) and it is the cruelest thing about this pandemic, but she didn't die alone and the nursing staff are doing their utmost to comfort people in this horrendous situation which must be incredibly difficult for them, especially when they are having to cope with it on a daily basis. I don't know how they manage to go to work every day to face that (even discounting the personal risk to themselves and their families)... just the mental strain must be overwhelming.
Hope you get something from the docs today to help ease the pain a little. X
 
I’m so sorry for your loss. This is such a difficult time to grieve. Not being able to say goodbye, funerals being limited etc is robbing so many people of the normal grieving routines. Please be extra gentle with yourself in the coming weeks.
 
I am very sorry to hear your sad news, mikey, it's horrible at any time let alone in current covid circumstances. Please look after yourself as much as possible, and take things one day at a time.

I hope the doc manages to give you some help today. Virtual {{{hugs}}} from me too.
 
mikeydt1 said:
many thanks rebrascora i have telephoned the doctors and am waiting for a call back.

at least someone has now offered to help which takes some pressure off.

not sure what the policy is of other hospitals when seeing loved ones, ours has totally stopped visitors but when someone is dying and you can't even be there for them is so not good.

think there have been a few news articles about the above. the trouble is if they have covid then it is high risk and look at the staff going down like flies. such a major problem for many.
Click to expand...
My partner of 40 years died on 4th December. She was taken in 10 days prior as the cancer had spread to her brain. Despite the family requesting visits they were all declined until 'end of life' procedures were enacted. They called us in mid morning on the 4th, myself and my daughter. We got through security at the main entrance and had to use the intercom at the ward entrance. Every door was guarded by security. Despite end of life only one of us was allowed in (with PPE) Our daughter was very distressed and as she had a very close relationship with her mum I made the agonising decision she should see her mum to say goodbye, The nurse told me I would be able to visit the next day.
My daughter reappeared a few minutes later telling me her mum had died shortly after she was at her bedside.
So I never got to say goodbye. The nurses and security were very good and understanding.
So I completely understand your distress.It is very cruel and inhumane to treat families in this way but I guess necessary.
The hospital's bereavement office will electronically pass the paper to the chosen undertaker and the registry office will arrange a 30 minute appointment over the phone to produce the death certificate, so you will need certain info to hand during the call. Normally registering a death has to be done within 5 days but with covid this isn't strictly kept. The patients possessions are kept in quarantine for up to a fortnight.
That was my experience and that was in a hospital in a county that had one of the lowest covid infection/death rates (Cornwall)
 
I'm so sorry about your loss @Davein, this virus is affecting so many peole in so many ways. That must have been so hard for you. Sending big hugs your way
 
that is so awful davein all you have then is memories of what your loved one was like before things got nasty that is all i have. i spoke with my partner over 3 weeks ago then the phones went silent so telephoned every few days till the end.

have spoken with my doctors and she has done a couple of prescriptions one for an antbiotic as i got so stressed it caused like stress incontinence but i have a catheter in so i was then more irritated and passed blood.

the other is to help ease some symptoms like a knock on so the whole idea is to get some balance.

well the funeral day and date has been booked for mid next week only problem is that the registry office haven't been in touch i have explained this told not to worry all very well but will feel like a right plonker if it has to be re-booked. been told not to go overboard on flowers as they are now been dumped which is a shame so am going for partners part wishes and am going for a single rose.

the speed of things though wow no time to grieve guess it is the best medicine. after the funeral i will get the ball rolling with various paper work more in my comfort zone then at the same time i can come to terms with what has happened.

finally doctor wants me to have some counselling
 
I am so sorry to hear your sad news xxx
 
mikeydt1 said:
that is so awful davein all you have then is memories of what your loved one was like before things got nasty that is all i have. i spoke with my partner over 3 weeks ago then the phones went silent so telephoned every few days till the end.

have spoken with my doctors and she has done a couple of prescriptions one for an antbiotic as i got so stressed it caused like stress incontinence but i have a catheter in so i was then more irritated and passed blood.

the other is to help ease some symptoms like a knock on so the whole idea is to get some balance.

well the funeral day and date has been booked for mid next week only problem is that the registry office haven't been in touch i have explained this told not to worry all very well but will feel like a right plonker if it has to be re-booked. been told not to go overboard on flowers as they are now been dumped which is a shame so am going for partners part wishes and am going for a single rose.

the speed of things though wow no time to grieve guess it is the best medicine. after the funeral i will get the ball rolling with various paper work more in my comfort zone then at the same time i can come to terms with what has happened.

finally doctor wants me to have some counselling
Click to expand...

Mikey - we're all different, in terms of how we process and handle things, but when my Dad died, I can recall going with my Mother to the bank, building society, insurance offices and so on, "getting things done", in the days afterwards, and then his funeral was 4 days after his death, which in Scotland was seen as quite a long time. My brother was away on business at the time and getting him back from Central Africa wasn't entirely straightforward.

Some time afterwards, I spoke with Mum about what got done and when, in those incredibly early days, and how she had coped with it. Her response was that she had got done what she could whilst still in that shocked, numbed phase as it all seemed so surreal, and dreamlike. Looking back, she felt she might not have handled it well several weeks later.

To be honest, I took from that that she had tried to find the best she could out of a really very rubbish set of circumstances. I think that's the best anyone can do.

Do things as you can and when you can. There will always be things we can't control or manage, but I think there are many more of those things at the moment.

Try to remember the many, many happier times I'm sure you shared.
 
I'm so sorry to hear about your partner, Davein, what a horrid experience. Look after yourself and your daughter and be kind to yourselves in the coming days and weeks. Sending {{{hugs}}} to you both.
 
I am so sorry to hear of your sad loss, Mikeydt1. And Davein. A truly distressing time for both of you.
 
that surreal and dreamlike state is what i am feeling. couldn't really describe it till i saw those words. in the dreamlike world you think this can't be real but then deep down you know it is. such a strange feeling though.
 
mikeydt1 said:
sat here with tears in my eyes and heart broken. partner Tee suddenly took a turn for the worse some time today and sadly passed away this evening from Covid related symptoms.

the worse thing is not been there for them but at least the nurse was there till the end.

this just shows how serious and dangerous the virus is as this happened 14 days from diagnoses and things looked to be going okay.


i am on my own here with absolute no support but the hospital have told me to ring anytime and a doctor is calling sometime tomorrow.

anyone feel free to private message if you want. i thank all those who have sent kind messages over the last weeks.
Click to expand...
So sorry to read of your loss. Not too sure what else to write. Please take care.
 
So sorry to hear of your wife’s death @Davein
Such a hard time for you and your families.
Love and hugs.
 
So sorry to hear your of your loss and sad news. We are all here for you at this hard time.
 
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