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Partner Sad News

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well was talking about the register and they have booked me for a phone appointment in the morning.

i am on my own till Saturday but even with the stresses it is surprising just what can be done. at least in the morning i will know it is final then i can concentrate on preparing for the funeral. will be dealing with financial side also from next week onwards.

think my best medicine is just to keep busy.

nearly everything is done my partner certainly was thorough with what would happen in the event and not many ties to deal with.

the funeral is also nearly complete now just been running through my partners life, flowers also been sorted then that is that.

one final stage will be bank and will i will deal with that once i have the death certificates.
 
Pleased you are managing to keep busy Mikey. Pleased that is helping you to cope during this difficult phase. The single rose idea is a lovely gesture.... simple and elegant.
Thinking of you and sending love and more (((hugs)))
 
I am shocked and so sorry to hear the news too @mikeydt1 and for your loss @Davein
 
mikeydt1 said:
doctor wanted me to have some counselling. checked yesterday and there is only a 4 month waiting list! not sure what else there is in Lancashire. one was also charging for their services and pretty steep to say the least.
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Maybe go back to the doctor and see if there are other options.
I remember there being some reassuring - if that is the right term for them, cassette tapes some time ago now. You were supposed to set them going and just settle back and listen. One side was poetry and music and the other was talking I think. There might be something like that to download, though I am sure that just the idea that it might be useful might seem ridiculous at the moment.
I wish that there was something more I could offer.
 
mikeydt1 said:
doctor wanted me to have some counselling. checked yesterday and there is only a 4 month waiting list! not sure what else there is in Lancashire. one was also charging for their services and pretty steep to say the least.
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Is there something in your area called IAPT? Its a free counselling service where you can self refer and i think its run by the NHS. They do an initial assessment over the phone. If they do it might be worth it. Someone i know used it locally and found it really helpful.
 
i have telephoned the doctors but in the mean time will do another search.

many thanks Lucyxxx
 
There is always a 3-4 month waiting list for counselling so it would be worth getting on the waiting list. It may be too soon right now to start it anyway for it to help so 4 months sounds like a good idea. There are some good mindfulness apps which may help in the meantime x
 
mikeydt1 said:
doctor wanted me to have some counselling. checked yesterday and there is only a 4 month waiting list! not sure what else there is in Lancashire. one was also charging for their services and pretty steep to say the least.
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I had a couple of sessions, a few months after my Mother passed away. I had just ended up exhausted by a perfect storm of events in the time surrounding it. For example, I went back to work from my compassionate leave to start a brand new job (internal promotion), in a different part of company, which involved crippling travel.

Maybe a few weeks of the dust settling could be helpful before the counselling starts?

I have at other times used a psychologist who is a practising hypnotherapist. Her approach is to take her remit from her patient - i.e. what you need help with, then she'll do a session with you, which you then give feedback on. The feedback was how I felt afterwards, and how I felt in the few days afterwards. That first session was free, to assess if she felt she might be able to help me, and that I might benefit from that help.

At the second session, the session was tweaked a bit, based on feedback, but recorded, and given to me, to use as frequently as I wanted.

My remit to her at the time was that I needed some head space to get things done (like living my life!), and to be able to set the things stressing me to one side for a while.

I have gone back to those recordings (had to convert from CD to mp3 files - that shows how long ago it was) a few times.

I am still in contact with that lady, and would go back to her in a heartbeat. She'd not be much use to your Mikey, as I'm not in your area, but there may be others like her?

Her session aren't the cheapest, but there's no hanging about, and in reality I paid for 2 session (I had a top-up and a tweak to the recording - meaning I had 2), but have resources I can still go back to.

It's a very difficult time for you Mikey.
 
just found out from the registrar that partner Tee would of died at home there were other factors besides covid what caused the death and really is a godsend as that would of broken me. one of the factors was Parkinsons and i had a dear friend years who had that and died from it, it must of been in the really late stages.

any way now the registration of death has been done hopefully when they collect my partner Tee will be at long last be in peace.

when i telephoned a bereavement service the person sounded it bit morbid so perhaps a good few weeks of waiting could be a good idea.

finally got a nice surprise through the post it was a condolence card but wasn't expecting it to be from doctor and the whole staff of the practice.

just shows how many people my partner knew well they were here quite a lot doing treatment and got to know both of us.
 
thinking of you you are in my thoughts and prayers
 
Mikeydt1 and Davein this is a heartbreaking time for both of you. I send you both many {hugs}. The loss of a loved on is almost unbearable so the fact that you did not get to say your goodbyes adds yet another layer. I am so sad for both of you. We are all here to support you at this time. It is hard but try to look after yourselves through this stressful time. I hope that family and friends will help you too. They too are grieving. Try to remember the good things that you enjoyed together and the happy times. Both of you are in my thoughts and prayers. Take care.
 
Hello Mikey - I am so sorry for your loss, it must feel like a nightmare. I don't know if this would be any use to you at all, but there is an organisation called The Good Grief Trust, link below, which I think has a lot of helpful information and various links to other relevant organisations etc. I have no experience of it myself, but found it a couple of months ago for a friend who was struggling, understandably, after a bereavement. I think there is a specific section which talks about losing someone to Covid.
Home – The Good Grief Trust
I was worried that the name might strike you as frivolous, but looking at their website it's clear that they are sincere in their efforts to help people.
Sending very best wishes,
Helen
 
mikeydt1 said:
doctor wanted me to have some counselling. checked yesterday and there is only a 4 month waiting list! not sure what else there is in Lancashire. one was also charging for their services and pretty steep to say the least.
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Hello @mikeydt1 . On anotger site I heard about Cruse a bereavement counselling service. I hope you find them helpful .
 
i have taken the opportunity to register with cruse problem lays with the waiting lists guess so many have gone with the virus or other illness during this year.

after speaking to my doctors and with me having depression they have booked me in for listening service couple of weeks after the funeral. they have also upped one of my medications.

don't worry if i feel myself spiralling down then i will seek advice straight away.

well i knew something had to go haywire probably partner would of smiled now as this is the normal for me. registrar going through doctors details found spelling mistake but had to record it with the spelling mistake. told that if it was to be corrected then it delays the process something so simple as a doctors spelling mistake and everything can go to pot.

next told i could order more certificates so went online with a given link got half way through then came to BDM code, what! sat there for ages thinking what the hell is this turns out i have to wait for the main certificate to come through then i can fill the online form in.

oh the joys of things going steady then something throws a wobbler. at least it makes me smile afterwards.
 
So good that you are managing to keep a bit up beat despite the tragic circumstances. Thinking of you tonight and hoping the New Year is kind to you.... and to everyone... we need more kindness in the world!
 
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