spell
Well-Known Member
Or rather I believe so
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Inka
Well-Known Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 1
I suppose it depends what you did.
As an example, if someone does something that hurts another person, then they could punish themselves, sure, but that’s not helping the other person really. Does that make sense? Doing something for that person to ‘right the wrong’ or at least improve things is often better than self-flagellation.
It's hard to comment appropriately without knowing what that something was and what the circumstances around it were but allow me to say at least this
Some people who commit the foulest acts have zero remorse at all. A serial killer in prison, smiling at his victims families.
And then a person who ran over a squirrel which ran out in front of her car, was so devestated by this accident she got home and donated to a squirrel sanctuary, and still cries to this day when reminded of it, even though she could do nothing to prevent it(not me)
There are very good people in this world and very bad, and every shade of grey in between.
My guess is like most of us, you sit somewhere in the middle of all that....because you clearly have a conscience. One that seems to be weighing heavy.
What would you say, to someone you loved who was in exactly your situation. An adult child of yours? A partner? A best friend?
Would you tell them to treat themselves the way you are treating you, for whatever it was you did?
Think on it x
If its medical they have no clue either! My hospital wheel out a little old man in his 70s so they can make money saying they run a "service" he hasn't a clue. His minder, a nurse read a book on it once. He says one thing, she then says the opposite, like good cop bad cop. I just ignore them now and Google. They both denied there was a problem with fiasp, 30 minutes on Google and found hundreds with same problem. Waste of time, I truly fear for newly diagnosed. Uncontactable, were on our own.
Oh it's punishment for something I did
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Just a very 'general' point, as I would not presume to comment on your particular situation, but when I want to 'punish myself' for whatever it is I feel I've done wrong, I help others to 'repay' and 'clear the debt' or however one likes to express it.
Self-flagellation (and again, I am NOT commenting at you, or anyone at all) never does any good in the world for anyone else. Doing good in the world for someone else (animals included) is a lot more useful all round. And, to my mind, a hell of a lot more therapeutic.
(I write as someone who is prone, if 'indulged', to OCD behaviours, and I have to be tough on myself NOT to 'indulge' them - however 'pressing' the perceived 'need' to do so! - and instead try and 'punish' myself by doing something for others instead) (Which, alas, is not to say that I always succeed in turning 'outwards' from my inner 'self-punishing' rituals.)
However, this is a 'big' debate, and I mention my 'solution' only in passing in case it should be of help to anyone else.
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Just a very 'general' point, as I would not presume to comment on your particular situation, but when I want to 'punish myself' for whatever it is I feel I've done wrong, I help others to 'repay' and 'clear the debt' or however one likes to express it.
Self-flagellation (and again, I am NOT commenting at you, or anyone at all) never does any good in the world for anyone else. Doing good in the world for someone else (animals included) is a lot more useful all round. And, to my mind, a hell of a lot more therapeutic.
(I write as someone who is prone, if 'indulged', to OCD behaviours, and I have to be tough on myself NOT to 'indulge' them - however 'pressing' the perceived 'need' to do so! - and instead try and 'punish' myself by doing something for others instead) (Which, alas, is not to say that I always succeed in turning 'outwards' from my inner 'self-punishing' rituals.)
However, this is a 'big' debate, and I mention my 'solution' only in passing in case it should be of help to anyone else.
There is "mental unhealth" though
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But, again, this would imply, wouldn't it, that there is a binary distinction between 'health' and 'unhealth', which I think is not so in principle at least.
But it's debateable!!! So much is in our own perception of what we consider 'health' - and, indeed, what we consider 'happiness'.
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But, again, this would imply, wouldn't it, that there is a binary distinction between 'health' and 'unhealth', which I think is not so in principle at least.
But it's debateable!!! So much is in our own perception of what we consider 'health' - and, indeed, what we consider 'happiness'.
Amity Island
Well-Known Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 1
That's the reason so many people use this forum.
We (the diabetics) are the crew, the Doctors and Nurses are the captains.
Who knows more about rowing the boat than those rowing?
Far too much credit is given to the experts, and the experts put far too much confidence in what they think they know. Try listening, it's a great vehicle for learning.
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In defence of 'experts' they are 'paid to make a call' - ie, to diagnose or not, to prescribe, or not.
Sometimes they are aware - and tell us so - that there is no evidential base, or that even if there is, it may not apply to us as individuals etc etc.
The good ones do their best, but even the good ones come under pressure to meet targets with insufficient personel etc etc.
In the, it's important to have medics with whom one has a rapport, but in the non-private sector that is only by chance usually. Even with rapport though, there' no guarantee they will get it 'right' for you.
I do think it behoves us patients to try and mug up as much as we can manage (and 'deep' research is beyond most of us I'd say - and even if we can get our brains around it, we may often find that the 'experts' don't know all the ins and outs anyway, and there is yet more research to be done).
The mantra that I think is good to bear in mind is the one that says 'No decision about me, without me'. So patients should be able to 'buy in' to what is being recommended etc. Some may decide they just want the doc to decide, and that is a fair enough option, if that's what they want
Sometimes they are aware - and tell us so - that there is no evidential base, or that even if there is, it may not apply to us as individuals etc etc.
The good ones do their best, but even the good ones come under pressure to meet targets with insufficient personel etc etc.
In the, it's important to have medics with whom one has a rapport, but in the non-private sector that is only by chance usually. Even with rapport though, there' no guarantee they will get it 'right' for you.
I do think it behoves us patients to try and mug up as much as we can manage (and 'deep' research is beyond most of us I'd say - and even if we can get our brains around it, we may often find that the 'experts' don't know all the ins and outs anyway, and there is yet more research to be done).
The mantra that I think is good to bear in mind is the one that says 'No decision about me, without me'. So patients should be able to 'buy in' to what is being recommended etc. Some may decide they just want the doc to decide, and that is a fair enough option, if that's what they want
To be honest there is almost never a magic wand that can be waved over any of us that cures our ills. Those of us who become experts on our conditions (be they physical or mental) tend to do better than those who want to simply be cured.
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