New and Struggling...

Status
Not open for further replies.
KerryElizabeth said:
He does receive help from a mental health team but unfortunately he's not getting any better. He's getting worse. He's literally just this second attempted to commit suicide - he tried to overdose. His girlfriend had to wrestle them out of his hand. He can't afford proper food, apparently, so he's not going to give me any money for shopping. If he did I'd have no problem shopping and cooking for myself!

My mum isn't around anymore and everyone else is on my dad's side and thinks I'm being selfish... I really don't know what to do. I'm entitled to DLA but I can't get it until I've been diagnosed for over three months and my dad said he'd take all of it for the cost of the bills and such for living in the house. I really just don't know what to do.
Click to expand...


I'm so sorry to hear the above but you really do need to speak to someone - do you have counsellors in College? or as suggested contact the Citizens Advice Bueau; you really need to speak to a professional about the problems at home. Amanda x
 
KerryElizabeth said:
He does receive help from a mental health team but unfortunately he's not getting any better. He's getting worse. He's literally just this second attempted to commit suicide - he tried to overdose. His girlfriend had to wrestle them out of his hand. He can't afford proper food, apparently, so he's not going to give me any money for shopping. If he did I'd have no problem shopping and cooking for myself!

My mum isn't around anymore and everyone else is on my dad's side and thinks I'm being selfish... I really don't know what to do. I'm entitled to DLA but I can't get it until I've been diagnosed for over three months and my dad said he'd take all of it for the cost of the bills and such for living in the house. I really just don't know what to do.
Click to expand...

Kerry, do please make an appointment to see your diabetes nurse. You have enough to cope with at the moment and from what you say it sounds like you would be better getting some advice and help from outside the family. The DSNs (Diabetes Specialist Nurse) aren't just there to help you with your diabetes, they know that there can be a lot of other issues that come along with a diagnosis besides blood sugar control. Alternatively, you might like to ring Diabetes UK's Careline for a confidential chat with a trained adviser - they can be contacted via this page:

http://www.diabetes.org.uk/How_we_help/Careline/
 
KerryElizabeth said:
Thank you very much for all of your support. I'm feeling a little better already. I definitely have the feeling of "nothing's going to be the same again" at the moment and am struggling mostly with that kind of thing, I think.

Another thing that's been really difficult is my dad's mentally disabled and isn't able to look after me properly. He doesn't go shopping for proper food or anything so just gives us money for take aways every day, which obviously isn't good for my blood sugar levels, but when I try and talk to him about this he screams at me for not "allowing him to be ill". I just don't know what to do. There's nothing I can do, so I feel like I either have to shut up and let me health diminish or have an argument with my dad every day.

It's not helping.
Click to expand...

Hi Kerry,

So sad to hear of your home situation. This shouldn't be happening to a 17yr. old
Your mental health is obviously being affected as you cannot be yourself and have to conform so as to lessen the stress for yourself at home. This cannot go on for you or your dad. He has to relinquish some of the control that he is exerting over the family. Take-aways usually cost more than meals cooked from scratch. Does he allow you to cook and can you cook?
You certainly need some professional help and this may involve the whole family. You have been given some good options for getting outside help and I would also include his Mental Health Team. If they knew what was going on they would be concerned for all of the family. They probably don't know the full story but only what he is prepared to tell them. You will not be "snitching" on him, they need to know everything.
Take care and try and get the help you need.
 
Hi Kerry, warm welcome to the forum. I agree with the guys above, you need and deserve some support. You will get lots on here, as much as you want, but face to face support would be helpful to you to right now. As suggested, see your diabetic nurse perhaps as a first step, and get some professional help.
 
Hi Kerry, I'm new too (diagnosed last week) and so just wanted to say hi and that the shock does go and the feeling that you can be in control is getting easier and I'm sure will continue to. I've had some great advice here already and it looks like you are too - so mainly just hi! welcome 🙂
 
Hi Kerry, I do not have diabetes so cannot pretend to understand what you are going through. (I have a teenage daughter diagnosed last year). I have decided I should probably really only be commenting on the Parents message board but I have been reading all the above thread and basically just wanted to say hi, my heart really goes out to you.....
 
elaine1969 said:
Hi Kerry, I do not have diabetes so cannot pretend to understand what you are going through. (I have a teenage daughter diagnosed last year). I have decided I should probably really only be commenting on the Parents message board but I have been reading all the above thread and basically just wanted to say hi, my heart really goes out to you.....
Click to expand...

Elaine, you are free to comment on all sections of the forum - we all support and learn from each other 🙂
 
Thank you Northerner, I have found it really interesting reading everyones comments and at first tried to comment on some but then suddenly realised it might be really irritating for you all to have someone like me commenting when I have absolutely no idea what it feels like - just what it feels like being a parent (which also sucks but in a different yet heartbreaking way!!) As a parent I am learning so much and I think I am gaining more of an insight into what Kate must be feeling everyday. The only problem is I am getting hooked - I really need to be on here less and doing afew more jobs around the house!!! Thank you for your reply, it was something I was a little concerned about. 🙂
 
No-one would be irritated Elaine, it helps us to know how you feel about things too as it gives us an insight into how family members and friends might be feeling. You're right though - it can be addictive (just look at my post count! 😱)
 
elaine1969 said:
Thank you Northerner, I have found it really interesting reading everyones comments and at first tried to comment on some but then suddenly realised it might be really irritating for you all to have someone like me commenting when I have absolutely no idea what it feels like - just what it feels like being a parent (which also sucks but in a different yet heartbreaking way!!) As a parent I am learning so much and I think I am gaining more of an insight into what Kate must be feeling everyday. The only problem is I am getting hooked - I really need to be on here less and doing afew more jobs around the house!!! Thank you for your reply, it was something I was a little concerned about. 🙂
Click to expand...

hi elaine ...check out my post count ...i work full time now so dont post as much ..but often read

sorry kerry i didnt mean to hi jack your thread ..so a warm welcome from me too xx and big hugs you are having a tough time x you have had a lot of very good advice from members already so stick with us 🙂 we will all try and support you through x
 
Hi Kerry

Welcome to the forum 🙂 Sorry to hear about your current situation, I agree with the advise you've already received about speaking to your DSN/Citizens Advice as I'm sure they'd be able to help you and your Dad out.

My diagnosis was also spotted after drinking a lot of sugar free squash and I too lost around 3 stone. Managed to put one back on within a few months though 🙂 I found that my sugars came down within a few weeks of going on insulin so hopefully yours will too xx
 
Thank you guys so much. I'll definitely talk to mjy nurse about what's going on and see what she suggests.

I really appreciate all the support on the forum and greatly appreciate all the advice you have given me. It's really helped put my mind at ease a little bit :D
 
KerryElizabeth said:
Thank you guys so much. I'll definitely talk to mjy nurse about what's going on and see what she suggests.

I really appreciate all the support on the forum and greatly appreciate all the advice you have given me. It's really helped put my mind at ease a little bit :D
Click to expand...

No problems Kerry, I hope you have a good night's sleep 🙂
 
I hardly ever get onto the forum until stupid o'clock so I'm late getting to this thread as usual.

Welcome to the forum Kerry. I'm so glad you've joined us, yet so sorry that you have had the diagnosis that brings you here. There are lots of people here who were diagnosed as teenagers or had to deal with it through their teenage years, so I'm sure you'll get lots of advice and make new friends here.

You sound like a lovely girl with a lot on your plate right now. We will all help you as much as we can. I agree that you need proper support right now. I know your dad has MH problems, and that he's worried about you, but you do need healthy food and support to stay healthy. Please speak to someone about your concerns. And keep in touch with us, your new extended family. Take care and I hope you sleep well tonight. XXXXX
 
Thank you very much ^_^

I've been overwhelmed by everyone's kindness on here. I think it's nice having people to talk to who don't actually freak out about it as soon as I mention it -_-
 
Hey Kerry, big welcome 🙂 Wow, you really are new to this aren't you lol I have had it for 46 years and have never known any difference so I shall be watching your posts with huge interest so that I can learn loads. I know that everything is quite new and horrid for you right now but one thing that you wrote jumped out at me....losing control of your life! Hunni always control your diabetes never let it control you. I did that for many years and just hated being diabetic but then I had some serious problems with my eyes and started to control the diabetes and my life fell into place and the diabetes doesn't stop me doing anything and it will be the same with you. If you hate injections why don't you ask about using a pump? I have heard that you only have to inject once every 3 days so it might work for you really well. The bad news is that you have to be very well controlled to use on but you can ask about it on Monday. I am so glad that you have found the site, please, always remember that we are here when things get good as well as bad and you can always find someone in the same situation. I am looking forward to hearing what you have to post.
 
A ridiculously late welcome to the forum from me too, KerryElizabeth.

I can really empathise with you about your father, having suffered a similar shock this week. I hope things turn around for him and for you.

Andy 🙂
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top