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My Journey in Poetry

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This thread is now closed. Please contact Anna DUK, Ieva DUK or everydayupsanddowns if you would like it re-opened.
A light hearted look at the next bit of me to 'fail'

Many aches and pains I am getting now
At 61 it is expected somehow
No longer in the prime of life
But it feels good to put behind you all of that strife

Then something new stops working or decides enough
Back to the doctors for further medicinal brews
Decides well no you will have to be referred
And an audiologist is next for you to call

Husband's disease I've decided it to call
Were clarity of sound is lost in the female voice
I could blissfully carry on, honestly, without being aware
That I was being summoned for a chore somewhere

Alas now that will come to an end
For I will be able to hear everything said
But by some I'm told the advantage is still mine
As the on/off switch is something when I choose the time

Another occasion that I will no longer skive off
Where large groups were something shied from
For the multitude of sounds that hit my ears
Was just a jumbled mess so I became alone.

These aids being proposed I'm assured will change my life
For everything will be heard and that will be a delight
But I suppose the real benefit I'm sure I will hear
Is when I take them off and silence is all I can hear​
 
A decsion now made and acted upon

Information for Diabetes is never lacking
Just maybe our idea of the understanding
For opposites in information is everywhere
And dependant on your mind-set makes it very unclear

Seven months now and information fading
Still no idea how my blood sugar is fairing
So enough is enough and I have changed my mind
A blood testing kit I have ordered to try

I need to know exactly what’s happening within
And then I can decide where I am aiming
The effect sugar has on how I feel
So then I know the extent of sugar for real

But I don't feel that I am not taking the Doctors advise
For surely empowerment cannot be considered unwise
For I am following the medication and diet (well nearly)
But then I'll now know what I am achieving

Another few days I have to wait
And then I can track all that I eat
How I react both positive and negative
With knowledge I then can cut out or moderate.

Over the next few days I will think of a regime
When I should test and record the information I glean
How to interpret the data I obtain
And then regain some control once again
​
 
So easy to stray away from the path

Trying to explain to someone who
Does not really understand you
Is not easy for they automatically think
That you are overstating your case a bit

So do I overstate hoping that they will level it out
Or should just be honest and stop any mucking about
A dilemma that I have every time
I pass into the doctor’s domain

Right now I am hanging onto the edge
Where that slippery slope ends in an abyss
I almost pull myself out
Before another kick in side turns me about

An argument just now with an augmentative person
Raised me to a level that maybe I shouldn’t have ought to
So now I have to check myself to prevent a further slip
Into that awful pit of abyss

Stability for me in now an issue
With determination I must return
To that level field where I trust in myself
And follow my instincts and not others folly

So Guardian Angel please watch over me
As I travel this route of animosity
For I know I have to ignore those who tempt
And just follow the path where in my heart will lead me to be content.​
 
Got my blood monitor and all I can say is 'blumming eck'

A BG monitor I now have got
This weekend I have been reading and playing a lot
Frightening what food can do
But have a drink and it goes through the roof too

So this week I shall continue to eat
All the things I previously ate
Check my blood sugar 3 times a day
And see how it goes along the way

With this information I will be able to make a start
And see where those sugars are tearing me apart
Make those changes I now know I have to make
Then monitor the progress that my body does take

Minimum blood sugar was 7.4
The maximum was 24.9
As you can see I have plenty of scope to make
But now I can see I no longer can have my cake
​
 
Much better to be aware Michael, in my opinion - only with the information at hand can you know if and where changes might be made 🙂 Hope all goes well, and do let us know if you have any questions 🙂
 
My thoughts for today

Have I really any way of knowing
The direction in which my life is going
But then again do I want to know
For whether good or bad I have to go

Some days it will be like walking on air
Others will be like - well - let’s leave it right there
So just be happy with what you've got
Believe me when I say you've got a lot

Sometimes it’s good to stand and stare
Even think back to yesteryear
Relish in the things that you've done
Forget those that cannot be undone

With memories of your past
You can compare to make things last
If you can then write them down
For other to see into your mind

So let me start right here and now
And explain the things that got me down
It was because I would not talk
That is why I write this little book

By learning to write about how I feel
Not let it build up to become unreal
By this I begin to feel the tension go
And I can face the world once more

With all its sarcasm and retorts
All the meanness in men’s souls
Couldn’t care less I’ll do what I want
And I'll not share in what I've got

That is not the life for me
So I'll continue and in my heart be free
To live and to share in harmony
This is what life is meant to be
​
 
A typical day my mind undergoes

Somehow you have to keep diabetes at the forefront of your mind
To be aware of all the foods around
How stress can upset your food regime
And cause more problems that you cannot see

From those around you have to ensure
That it is important that you stay secure
That monitoring is the only way forward
To keep control of what is happening to you

It is not a visible condition
For people to see and then see reason
That you have a problem that you're trying to contain
And that you are not hypochondriac crying false tears

It is a fine line I now am told
From being obsessive and not just under control
For testing to some looks like a lot of work
With the results being something that you should already know

I am finding though this is far from the truth
For similar foods do not give the same results
Other factors you have to take into account
On your physicality and mental health

So still I take one step at a time
Get a routine sorted within my mind
With results that even I can understand
But I'll do it quietly now one day at a time

Download the results at the end of the week
Look for trends or where I've been weak
Maybe then my lifestyle will gain a boost
Showing me a route that I can complete

Maybe or maybe not
I'll show the nurse the results I've got
But if a hint of hassle I feel is there
I'll keep my results in their own little lair.​
 
Beginning of another month on this journey fo mine

Another week has passed on this diabetic road
I'm still here being a pain in the 'ass'
With no further news from my doctor about me
I do my BG checks so that I can see

I am still above the goal stats set
For my Blood sugar to be in check
But the spikes appear to be levelling out
So I must be doing something right

During the week I try to be good
And only eat and drink what should be good
I admit the weekend I do indulge
But not as before for I then drank a lot more

Right now I have changed my diet
To one that I can maintain without crying
Another week or two I then may see
If another change would be best for me

It is slow going, not what I’m used to
But sustainability is the goal showing achievability
Then I trust that I will find
That further changes will not just blow my mind

I begin to feel some semblance of control
Where I can then monitor all on my own
Make any changes in a sustainable way
For surely sustainability is the only real goal
​
 
Michael7 said:
...I begin to feel some semblance of control
Where I can then monitor all on my own
Make any changes in a sustainable way
For surely sustainability is the only real goal
​
Click to expand...

Absolutely, Michael. It can seem a slow process, but all the time you are gaining knowledge and experience which will benefit you for years to come 🙂
 
What a difference having something corrected can make to your Diabetes

Two hearing aids fitted to clarify the sound
Now I notice more going on around
Doors once closing now seem to be slammed
But the birds are the best of all the sounds

It’s early yet I'm told the sounds will soften
As my hearing gets used to the apparent volume
But whilst the sounds are loud there is something else
A clarity in range that brings back sounds forgotten

The inserts tickle and I want to scratch
I'm beginning to wish it possible to cancel some sounds out
Background noise I could always hear muffled sounds
Now it feels like I am in a crowd

So every now and then a walk I take
To hear the birds and the songs they make
It’s like listening to birdsong for the very first time
This is worth all that 'mucking' around

A side issue from this I seem to be smiling
As new sounds I hear are making me happy
Depression itself has taken a backseat
As now I can listen as people speak

This sounds daft for I could always hear
But not the clarity that now reaches my ears
It’s like a weight has been lifted from me
Maybe it is the start of a new life, I'll see

So much I can hear I find it hard to write
And explain the sensation which I am talking about
But with all this I know I'm in control
For with two little switches I can still ignore
​
 
Great to hear you sounding so positive. Hopefully your diabetes path will now also seem easier for you. Your journey is inspirational.
 
I'm in an unusual mood today

Something to give me a motivational high
That today is going to be my drive
Not be worried about the conditions I have
But in knowledge be able to live my life

What is it that I like to do
Express in writing my point of view
Whether its feelings or likes it still feels good
When I acknowledge and accept this life I have

I begin with a myriad of tablets a day
Not let it carry on with a period of dismay
Just look outside at the beauty of the day
Now with hearing aids I can hear the birds display

No alcohol to blur my senses
No sugary food to fatten my belly
But clean fresh air in which to breathe
And then believe some things I do not need

I want to express my world in colour
The fragrances and the sounds make me wonder
Combine all three to enrich the mind
Oh what beauty there is in this land

By the way I think you can see
My mood today has infected me with glee
I trust and hope that it infects you
Together we can share a world renewed.
​
 
Maybe I shouldnt 'think' too much?

Sometimes perspective is hard to achieve
At the percentage of problems our society receives
How well is Diabetes controlled by the affected
Therefore how many of us have add on diseases

Its not be-littling anyone’s condition
I'd just like to know the extent of the problem
Maybe then as a group we can campaign for
A targeted service that Diabetics need more

From reading the forum I tend to assume
That the basic of services is not equal to use
From BG monitoring to peripheral testing of all
Should this not be standard and not the luck of the draw

Opposing advice I have within my region
Of what you can or not eat within reason
Don't bother testing for it will do you no good
For lifestyle is something that we have to choose

I read of tests to check this and that
I read of surgery’s not knowing how to act
Leaving the patient with even less knowledge
Of how to achieve the care that’s promised

All I have learnt I have by myself
By taking ownership of the problems I have
Now I find that my knowledge is not enough
Trying to access the services that I think I should have

I am not confrontational nor wish that to be
I expect a Doctor to say what is best for me
I don't expect to be 'fobbed' off (or so it seems)
But to have visible the care available to me
​
 
Taking my mind away from Diabetes

Looking over a meadow green
Rippling like the sea in the breeze
Colours of green highlighted with silver
Gives the feeling of motion with its shiver

Birds skimming low over the 'waves'
Picking up insects as they make their way
Still the field 'moves' as in play
Before the cutters come and spoil the day

But no, whilst the field is still, the birds still come
Now it's the larger ones looking for some grub
Earthworms or kills that the cutters did make
Give a feast for some birds to take

Then they turn the grass to dry some more
Before they 'hoover' the grass like a mower
Into large trailers then moves away
Preparing then for an organic spray

The stench for some is too much to bare
For the birds it’s a fragrance as they come from everywhere
Insects and earthworms appear like in a plague
For the birds to feast on on a sunny day

Soon the grass begins to grow again
For the cycle to renew itself
4 to 6 weeks is all it takes
To see this wondrous cycle taking place​
 
Nice feeling today

This is a good feeling today
Feeling, well, neutral I hope it lasts all day
I have no worries or people nattering
But from the office I can't hear the birds chattering

My morning BG is levelling out
Although its 8 it’s nothing to shout about
Still it’s another step nearer that diabetic goal
Where medication may be reduced to nothing at all

Hearing aids in and I can hear all round
Too much noise and not enough quality sound
But still that little switch is available to me
And then I go back to that muffled me.

Even depression can't raise its head
For when in neutral, well enough said
Still it’s a nice place to be
When I can handle all that is thrown at me

Well what now, what shall I do
How shall I celebrate this 'new' you
For feeling like this has been long coming
Surely its time for a little celebration?
​
 
Build up of thoughts

Not every day can be a 'good' day
Especially when things are not going your way
Little things that are being said and done
Build up and up, and then another mountain has to be won

Then determination has to come to the fore
And not let the demons come knock on your door
I know it's easier just to curl up and sleep
And hope that soon it will be next week

A plan has then to be made and put into action
That will enable these 'things' to not latch on
So then in more manageable chunks of tasks
Will aid that mountain to be climbed at last

So no matter what is happening to you
You cannot let those demons win through
Whether its Diabetes or Depression or something else
You will take control and let those demons go back to hell
​
 
This week is hard

This week is being a continual trial
My blood sugar levels have been on the rise
Food intake and exercise is the same as normal
Stress is the component that is currently abnormal

Such is work that people love duress
And wait and wait until they can give more stress
Unable to project the work they want
For others to cover what they don't understand

Head kept down and weigh into the work
Normal hours but intensity to soak
Mentally shattered at the end of the day
So I use poetry when I need a break

Clear my head of useless rubbish
Concentrate what I can contribute
Don't let them get into your head
For they have the problem, you are their credit
​
 
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