I can't do this anymore

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salmonpuff said:
i just shot 18u of levemir into my backside, and i was in tears doing so. The thought of it is making me want to throw up.

Why is this happening to me? :(

my feet are killing me. My sugars feel high. But I don't want to test because apparently i test too much. Is it any wonder I have these problems now???? My mother is stuck in the 1996 way of thinking still - test 4 times a day and eat whatever you want without injecting. Pah.
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Hiya

Oh dear. I wish I lived nearer and could look after you and get you on the right track for a while. I won't even pretend to understand how you are feeling, I can't possibly understand, the others can though.

The only answer for you mum and this will sound harsh but you need to say to her 'if you would like me to die before you I will follow your rules'. I have had huge issues with my mum over the years about my health ie my weight, different from diabetes I know but the issues are huge ! I have moved away from her now, we get on fine but I have learnt how to deal with the issues and I am a rock not a sponge, seriously, this is how I have to think and this is after a lot of counselling ! The latest for me is that I have learnt my mum put in a mobility shower bath, I thought for her sister who lives with her who has a replacement hip and knee, but no she spent ?6000 (yep ?6000) on this damned bath with a door for me because I am too fat !!!! I heard this through the grapevine today. The bath is wrong anyway so they are using my weight ie the bath is not fit for the purpose, doesn't take my weight, to get the money back. Obviously its more complicated than that but boy am I boiling, but I am a rock not a sponge !!!!! 😱

I can help you with the carb counting but I think you do ok don't you? Shout if you want me to.

One thing I can suggest but it will cost you, does your mum have some money she can give you perhaps !! There is a place in London, London Medical and I know a woman who is amazing, she can help you with everything including getting a pump, probably privately but if you can get the dosh I recommend seeing her. She is a loopy as anything but is excellent at diabetes, 1, 2, adult, child. If you want her details give me a shout.

Do not over eat and do not under eat, we need you here you know, its not always the other way around ie you need us, we need you too missy. 😉
 
Thanks Adrienne

carb counting is half my issue i think. I've never been taught properly so have no idea what my ratios are. I guess most of the time and 50% get it right, 50% get it wrong. This morning I got a bowl of porridge serously wrong (again), lunch was right but i overcorrected a high and went to 1.5 and dinner...well im waiting on dinner. I have no idea what my ratios are, and even more so I am struggling with my basal. It sucks HUGELY.

I dont think I could say that to my mum. I don't know why. I guess Ijust retain things and let them get to me. I'm not the most out there of people as it is...
 
what a lovely repy adriennne x i think sam there are loads of us who want to come and make sure you'll be ok xxx so please dont do anything silly xx
 
"silly" seems rather sensible right now though. So much doing on in my head right now, just a blur of stuff. Don't like it.
 
In that case Sam, you too need to be a rock and not a sponge. If your mum says test 4 times a day, say ok then, and let it slide. I know how hard that is as you really really want to say something back but don't be that sponge.

My mum rang me today and asked about Jessica's parents evening. I know that she now knows I know (lots of knows) about the bath and reason for getting it, a few years ago I would have ploughed straight in but I never mentioned it. It is taking all my will power but she won't win that battle. I am slowing losing weight without them and I'm not even going to discuss that with her or any of the family now, I can't be bothered.

Your life is so much more than diabetes Sam. You are a lovely funny person, that comes across in your messages. Diabetes is just a blip (ok yeh so I know its a big blip but it is still a blip in the great scheme of things).

Lou didn't know too much about the old carbs a while back, she is still learning but she is doing better, (not sure she can see that but I can and I know my carbs) so you can get there too.

x
 
Hi Sam - you can try killing zombies - but I'm not sure its that easy.

I did a search on the internet and found this link

http://www.bdec-e-learning.com/

Its an online course on carb counting set up by a hospital in Bournemouth for people not having access to a course. It may be worth taking a look.
 
oh Adrienne you just made me cry again *sniff* 😱
 
I would consider advising you to think right from today (or maybe tomorrow after killing many zombies!) start fresh say I have diabetes and I'm going to get me some control. Stop drinking, let your body sort itself out, I found it very hard to work out ratios whilst on the drink. Make a note of timings of what you eat what you inject what you do what your levels are etc etc, it may be rubbish but it's the only way (that I know) that you can understand how to grapple with the diabetes monster. If you're working or busy make time to write it ALL down no excuse this is your health, not just for a day or two but for two weeks or more. Then get help on ratios basal levels etc from the people here, and your team (I hope!)

Just my thoughts

Take care

Rossi🙂
 
margie said:
Hi Sam - you can try killing zombies - but I'm not sure its that easy.

I did a search on the internet and found this link

http://www.bdec-e-learning.com/

Its an online course on carb counting set up by a hospital in Bournemouth for people not having access to a course. It may be worth taking a look.
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bornmouth isnt that where the great team are your not far could you get a referal ?
 
rossi_mac said:
I would consider advising you to think right from today (or maybe tomorrow after killing many zombies!) start fresh say I have diabetes and I'm going to get me some control. Stop drinking, let your body sort itself out, I found it very hard to work out ratios whilst on the drink. Make a note of timings of what you eat what you inject what you do what your levels are etc etc, it may be rubbish but it's the only way (that I know) that you can understand how to grapple with the diabetes monster. If you're working or busy make time to write it ALL down no excuse this is your health, not just for a day or two but for two weeks or more. Then get help on ratios basal levels etc from the people here, and your team (I hope!)

Just my thoughts

Take care

Rossi🙂
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Absolutely, agree with Rossi all the way. To get the ratios on the right track we need 5 days of all insulin amounts. If you can do that, I can work out a starting point of ratios and correction ratios and we can work from there together, all of us. :D
 
Hi Sam,

I have to put my line in too (you know me, always something to say!).

I am sorry you are not having a good time at the moment and I have also read your problems with your GP. I know its a nightmare, you are being badly let down and I hate that about the people who are supposed to be looking after you, but they only give you the tools. Its no excuse, but you are suffering.

I really, really hope you think more favourably towards asking for a referral for psychological support- I had it and it was through my diabetes clinic and a special chronic disease pychologist. We had a couple of one to one sessions then I was referred to a psychological support group. It helped no end, please please think about it. It doesnt mean you are bonkers! This D lark is hard, and we all need someone to prop us up...

Chin up and no DKA talk please. We love you too much xx
 
Adrienne is right - without you and her I dunno where I would be, (with the help of everyone else too of course).

It's because of you Sam I am sorting out my diabetes. You told me about this site, you gave me the strength to fight for what is rightly mine! Adrienne is amazing with carb counting, I have almost got it because of her!
I wish I could help properly. I wish I had a magic wand.

Your an amazing person who has had such a positive effect on my life I don't know how to thank you!

As for Psychological help - your not mental it will just help you to understand your feelings, how to deal with them and how to change them from positive to negative

Please keep fighting! Please.
 
smile4loubie said:
Adrienne is right - without you and her I dunno where I would be, (with the help of everyone else too of course).

It's because of you Sam I am sorting out my diabetes. You told me about this site, you gave me the strength to fight for what is rightly mine! Adrienne is amazing with carb counting, I have almost got it because of her!
I wish I could help properly. I wish I had a magic wand.

Your an amazing person who has had such a positive effect on my life I don't know how to thank you!

Please keep fighting! Please.
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lovely post lou xxx sam this is why its worth it i remember that day lou joined and the crisis she was in we are all here for you hun xx
 
Sam, Sorry to hear you feeling so down. Agree totally with those sending messages.
When your appointment arrives why not print off some of the messages here to take with you and show your gp. Tell him/her that as a type 1 you need to test very regularly - particularly until you get your confidence back again - which you will with their help.
You are not alone in your thinking. I rely heavily on regular testing and it's cruel and unreasonable to take that away from someone relying on it. Show them this and if they have a problem with it, ask them to phone me or my gp and we shall explain it to them😡
 
rawtalent said:
Sam, Sorry to hear you feeling so down. Agree totally with those sending messages.
When your appointment arrives why not print off some of the messages here to take with you and show your gp. Tell him/her that as a type 1 you need to test very regularly - particularly until you get your confidence back again - which you will with their help.
You are not alone in your thinking. I rely heavily on regular testing and it's cruel and unreasonable to take that away from someone relying on it. Show them this and if they have a problem with it, ask them to phone me or my gp and we shall explain it to them😡
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Excellent idea. I often think it is better to write things down, at least you get it said.
 
Go with a plan and at least, stick to the plan. A man with no plan is planning to fail!🙂
 
Don't give up Sam. We're all behind you. I wish i could think of something more useful to say...
I got sent by work for counselling after i'd gotten back from four weeks sick leave, having being diagnosed. I kept bursting into tears, which, looking back in hindsight, seems perfectly reasonable.. I was worried, firstly my Occupational Health department never seem to have a good thing to say about anyone who crosses thier path, and seem to think that anybody who's got any kind of health inperfection should be kicked out of thier job. Secondly i was scared coz my little-big brother (younger, but taller) has depression and i was worried that the same was happening to me.
I went to see this slightly flakey-seeming bloke in a basement flat in town and was convinced that it was doing nothing for me. I also discovered that i wasn't depressed and wasn't crazy. I just need to be more assertive. I didn't think it did much for me, but people now say i'm more relaxed and happier at work (i think that's called acting....). My annoying GP just asked me if i wanted some anti-depressants. And Occy Health haven't got me yet.
It's perfectly understandable that your should be feeling down and overwhelmed at the moment, you've been so much hassle of late, it certainly doesn't make you crazy, coz anybody in your situation would be a bit panicy and afraid. If you didn't, then you might be crazy. As my DSN said to me when i was struggling hard to get my head around diabetes. "If you're worrying about it, you're not in denial."
And good luck with the zombies, if that's what works for your frustration, then you go girl!!

Rachel
 
We all go through crap times with our diabetes whether we are 1's or 2's and when other things go bottoms up at the same time then everything feels like it's falling apart.. I have been there a few times, when my mum died I stopped taking my insulin just didnt see the point, had a real downer on my diabetes, hardly tested but did take my metformin for some odd reason... and at some point we have to pull ourselves together because there is a world out there and although we may only be a small part of it we are an important part of it... you may not feel like that but it's true, and we all have a place, yours is as an archaeologist and an ace contributor to this board.. take on board the help from Adrienne, look at the carb counting site that margie posted and know that you have friends on here who have been or are even going through the same as you and we all must stick together...

and no if you asked for psyche help that wouldn't make you a crazy, how do you know you are not talking to loads of crazies (as you put it) on here.. many people see counsellors, psychologists, psychiatrists there is nothing wrong with that..

I don't know who your PCT is so I just googled Southampton and found the following link, if you contact them and it is the wrong dept I am sure they will help towards the right one... you really should put a complaint into your local PALS office, now not sure if the one I put here is the one that would cover your GP practice, but if you email them I am sure they will point you in the right direction..

http://www.southamptonhealth.nhs.uk/forthepublic/ppe/pes/

Disregard the bit from dental downwards unless you want to complain about one of the hospitals mentioned.

KILL THOSE ZOMBIES.....
 
I know how you feel! :D

Hi, Sam

Am 19 Not Long turned it. i have had Diabetes since i was 11 and i hated the fact that i had to change my life style i also tryed loads of times to end my life because of it and thinkin the same way you are just now.

its not worth it. trust me.

i have changed my nurse now and i see her every 4 weeks.
She also feels i should see a psychologist but when i told my gp he said tht i dont need one.

I dont see my gp for my diabetes i just see him for my insulin. and i see my diabetic nurse every 4 weeks and phone her when i need help.

I have just resently got my hb1c down too 9.7 after 6 years its always been over 10.

so trust me when i say i know how u feel.

i onliy take 2 jags in the morning and no more all day i dont even test during the day. i honestly hate having diabetes.

if you need to talk am here to try help as well as i can 😉

hope you feel better soon :D

xxxxx
 
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