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MikeyBikey said:
I dropped my regular membership in the mid-noughties as I was increasingly fed up being accosted by chuggers, often representing Diabetes UK, when I went for a lunchtime walk in the City. At the same time people representing Diabetes UK used to ring when you settling down for the evening requesting additional donations. This even happened shortly after I renewed my membership and made a generous donation to the research fund! I also thought wasting time and money on rebranding the British Diabetic Association to Diabetes UK was unnecessary. My parents, who originally enrolled, me also got disillusioned with the BDA as they tried to get me a place year after year on the camps the BDA used to run so young Type Is (no Type IIs then) could meet others without success. I will not be making an ad-hoc donation now!.
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I used to make periodic donations to cancer research usually when people we knew passed away and instead of flowers donated but then I got very annoyed by a envelope which came through the post with FINAL DEMAND blazoned on it.
Our donations now go to Air Ambulance or whatever charity the family designate.
 
Agree Mikey and LL.
We all understand that once you have given your contact details via a regular or past donation and given the urgent need of many charities to raise money then they will “ target” you for further support.
Again I have no issue with that as we have sympathy with the charity but increasingly it seems that this request for support turns into a proxy demand and almost try and shame you on occasion to try and get you to contribute more.
Like yourselves I like to donate when and how much I want to rather than feeling forced into it.That is one reason why I politely decline any invitation to engage with any charity which I know wants me to set up a DD with them.
I would be more than happy to put something in their bucket as a one off but I had a bad experience of a charitable DD in the past when they pestered me as to why I had stopped it.
 
MikeyBikey said:
I dropped my regular membership in the mid-noughties as I was increasingly fed up being accosted by chuggers, often representing Diabetes UK, when I went for a lunchtime walk in the City. At the same time people representing Diabetes UK used to ring when you settling down for the evening requesting additional donations. This even happened shortly after I renewed my membership and made a generous donation to the research fund! I also thought wasting time and money on rebranding the British Diabetic Association to Diabetes UK was unnecessary. My parents, who originally enrolled, me also got disillusioned with the BDA as they tried to get me a place year after year on the camps the BDA used to run so young Type Is (no Type IIs then) could meet others without success. I will not be making an ad-hoc donation now!.
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I agree about the BDA name change to the working title of Diabetes UK. By abandoning the British Diabetic Association name they seem to have abdicated from the centre of the national diabetic community. ADA hasn't messed about with similar marketing gimmicks.
 
Re: Code of Conduct Button, since I joined Diabetes UK as newly diagnosed person living with diabetes, I have acknowledged it's a registered charity which allows teenagers and young people aged 13+ and everyone else to access this support forum, and all of the data and content is stored on servers and maintained by paid staff employed by Diabetes UK, and I'm not aware that DUK or any DUK policies have stated that this specific online support forum is somewhere to push the boundaries of free speech, or push the envelope of civilised society and creative expression and good taste versus bad taste, but I know there are many other spaces online with no moderation and no guidelines and "anything goes" approach, which are obviously not maintained by registered charities supporting people living with specific medical conditions.

I have experienced online hate speech on this support forum several months ago and I appreciate it's best overall to educate inform and maybe entertain to raise awareness instead of banning and censoring everything, and to have an open dialogue with people as I am far from perfect, but there is responsibility upon those who may have more privilege or entitlement or status in our society to consider how their language and behaviour influences say younger people who may have just turned 13, or just been diagnosed, or just joined the forum, and therefore the tone and words used in the context of meeting your mates in the pub for example may not be very welcoming to new people who are less confident, or maybe are in minority groups and have experienced street crime, hate crime and hate speech in real life and are very triggered by strong language and punching down jokes, or simply being told "your private life is nothing to do with diabetes and you should go elsewhere as I don't want to know about your personal life as it's not relevant to diabetes" by people who feel emboldened to disclose they are straight cisgendered married with kids and look after their grandkids, alongside living with diabetes, so accepting differences and finding common ground seems important here too - I'm not better, I'm not worse, I'm just bit different, and that's OK!

Anyway, please try to treat people as you would like to be treated, and if you are worried about being "reported" maybe think before you type, and consider "is this kind or supportive comment on public support forum for people living with diabetes?".
 
Hi Mary Jane,
Appreciate your post and very sorry you have encountered “ hate speech” on this forum and we should all try our best to treat people with utmost respect.
Whilst different peoples interpretation of banter/ language should never be used as an excuse to upset or disrespect anyone I do think it is incumbent on all of us to try and understand the sentiment expressed by other contributors.
Unfortunately social media has a tendency to polarise views so if you do not agree with someone you can often be seen as against them whilst you simply may be e pressing a different perspective and that is what I personally want on these forums a balanced,polite but open discussion on all aspects and points of view.
 
Heya @Wendal I appreciate all the open honest comments here too, and this might surprise some people here, but I have background in art & design, co-ordinating film festivals, organising DIY underground subculture events and supporting all kinds of visual arts, community arts and literature-based social events in Manchester, and I am fundamentally opposed to the concept of censorship and banning free speech in that context of 18+ consenting adults sharing ideas and creative work (even getting into trouble with the authorities for using squatted abandoned venues for arts events and showing explicit unrated films made by and for LGBTQIA+ Communities as way of challenging oppression and being arrested by the police in various peaceful public demonstrations over the years too!)...

But significantly having read the terms of use and guidance for using this specific online support forum, it would be inappropriate for me to be posting the exact same content intended for very different 18+ audience in very different context (squatted art gallery ha), directly here without modifying the language or tone or words I used to express my self, and just expecting that nobody here on 13+ age range support forum for people living with diabetes would "report" explicit content intended for 18+ audience about say trans people who worked in the quote "adult entertainment industry" and I accept that it's best for everyone here to maintain polite civilised debates, discussions and threads about supporting people living with diabetes...

So, it appears for the support forum maintained by registered charity to exist and meet everyone's needs there are some compromises to be made, but everyone here is also free to explore elsewhere online the outer limits of where free speech becomes hate speech (this is not an abstract concept from another planet so not using quotation marks to demean real victims of hate crime and hate speech here), and from my own experience the tipping point is usually hateful comments inciting or implying acts of violence or harassment or crimes against specific victim or identified group due to their protected characteristics, or questioning the existence or right to exist of minority group with protected characteristics, and there's also huge amount of unacknowledged privilege entitlement and status in being able to casually dismiss the existence of hate crime legislation, the Equality Act and the Human Rights Act, which many people in minority groups have depended upon for protection from discrimination in the real world, and there would be no same-sex marriage rights or gender recognition legislation without these legal protections, which also don't stop anyone from engaging in pub banter with their mates in private in completely different context about any of these issues... IMHO 😉

And loving the character who happens to be trans on Doctor Who, got to immerse my self in new episode from Aunty Beeb...
 
let's keep this on topic please everyone, I understand that some people may be frustrated at this decision but as we are all using a public forum, just think about what you're typing.

We live in a world where everyone should feel welcomed and supported.

Remember you can read the user guidelines here, and just think before posting, what may not offend you could offend somebody else.
 
MrDaibetes said:
let's keep this on topic please everyone, I understand that some people may be frustrated at this decision but as we are all using a public forum, just think about what you're typing.

We live in a world where everyone should feel welcomed and supported.

Remember you can read the user guidelines here, and just think before posting, what may not offend you could offend somebody else.
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Eh ? Isn't this whole thread about NOT being offended by other people's opinions, and tolerating them in this post-truth social media age where all opinions are equal ?
 
MrDaibetes said:
let's keep this on topic please everyone, I understand that some people may be frustrated at this decision but as we are all using a public forum, just think about what you're typing.

We live in a world where everyone should feel welcomed and supported.

Remember you can read the user guidelines here, and just think before posting, what may not offend you could offend somebody else.
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I find you post patronising & therefore offensive, just think about what you're typing. What may not offend you could offend someone else...
 
I'm a bit amused. When I first read Josh's post - I have to say I was taken aback. Probably felt rather offended - how very dare they! Etc. But then Mrs Logical won and I had to accept that, because after all it's her persona that earned me a living all my working life. And being an expert at that time on legal liabilities of corporate entities did make me understand why not only that bloke Charlie Dickens made a book character state that the law is an ass, because sometimes it really seems to be just that.

As I also know for an absolute incontravertible fact that much though it can be very tempting to legally score what one of us/some of us may feel is a moral point - I also know very well that the only people to truly gain anything financially from such actions are normally the legal profession themselves, not the parties in the action themselves.

Hence being even more risk averse than ever at my age, I ticked the box. Simple. Now move on please.
 
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On-topic, posting this here as I interpret some of the thrust of "I want and need to use the forum to vent and let off steam and express my self and I now feel prevented by the rules and guidance and code of conduct", to think maybe consider anger management techniques, such as re-reading or counting to ten or giving context "having bad day and venting here", really hope this self-help article is useful as I practise these exercises too...

Punch a pillow, hug your pet, write to your MP: 22 ways to deal with your anger​

From simmering frustration at minor annoyances to boiling rage at the state of the world, many of us are angry at the moment. Experts offer tips and techniques on how to manage it...
www.theguardian.com

Punch a pillow, hug your pet, write to your MP: 22 ways to deal with your anger

From simmering frustration at minor annoyances to boiling rage at the state of the world, many of us are angry at the moment. Experts offer tips and techniques on how to manage it
www.theguardian.com www.theguardian.com

I was also curious to enquire openly if the following comment was problematic and excluding as new person, or if others feel punching down jokes or swearing are what they want to express on the forum, and anyone highlighting this as an issue is "Little Miss Do-Gooder teacher's pet scoring morality points to preach" or trying to maintain the balance of safe space as you may have noticed newly diagnosed members keep appearing and joining the forum every day from all walks of life and should be welcomed regardless of differences...

Quote from forum member (not my words): "Government departments not fighting over budgets and actually agreeing, yeah that's going to happen, then you have to get them to prioritise spending. Is diabetes worth diverting funds from the essential bi and transgender bereavement poetry workshops? 😉"

So is this what some members mean by quote "free speech" venting spleens at someone else's expense with putdown comments, or is this an unkind unsupportive angry negative dismissive divisive comment excluding LGBTQIA+ Communities now and in the future from joining the forum as new members??
 
Just someone's unskilled use of correct words I'd immediately think if I read those words - especially if I'd already 'met' that person - because I'd think 'Well - we all know most such bodies waste money' and also probably think what a strange choice of examples to use, so has this person got a problem, especially if they were 'new'. But anyway if I did read anything like that - I'd click the 'Report' button and type summat like 'Can't say this' if anything without any further comment needed because the moderators should not need any further explanation.
 
maryjaneholland said:
So is this what some members mean by quote "free speech" venting spleens at someone else's expense with putdown comments, or is this an unkind unsupportive angry negative dismissive divisive comment excluding LGBTQIA+ Communities now and in the future from joining the forum as new members??
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I’ve removed that part of the post from 2014. That member no longer frequents the forum, and I don’t think those views are representative of the majority here. Strikes me as an expression of generalised frustration and ‘othering’ which could just as easily have been directed at another group (vegan wholefood meditation and mindfulness workshops or whatever?)

This is a public place, diabetes affects people from all communities and persuasions - and people will have all sorts of views - just as they would in a cross-section of the UK public. That’s why the report function is so important and helps the moderators so much. So that anyone who is concerned about language or attitudes being expressed can flag posts for review. The mods will pick up on things directly too, of course - but the eyes and ears of the forum hive mind are invaluable.

What I find encouraging on the forum is the way members outside of a group or experience will often report or flag posts which they feel need assessing for moderation, even though they are not directly affected themselves.
 
@everydayupsanddowns thanks for removing, I just wanted to offer one example from the forum and there are others as it's tiring having to play the educator role for minority groups, and being told "I haven't experienced anything like hate speech here so it doesn't happen, problem solved"... If anyone can be assertive and expand upon how their "free speech" is being curtailed by being polite and respectful to others, please express that clearly, or just accept some basic guidelines, as new member it's confusing such as was there explicit adult content or strip poker section in the past, and this "Equality Act" is big party pooper to all those shenanigans!

No idea, but too busy with Christmas holidays prep to contribute much more, all the best for festive season, my first monitoring my blood glucose levels with Type 2 Diabetes diagnosis and saying "No" to traditional high-calorie seasonal food and drink, but I can still singalong to the Pogues "Fairytale in New York" and reclaim the slurs with queer friends and family ha! 😉
 
There was a strip poker session on this forum? Where was it and how could I have signed up?

By the way, that was a genuine joke. Not a good one, I grant you, but something that I fear may be something severely reduced if people are too easily 'offended'. Which is a disease which seems to have a very large R at the moment.

Indeed, I have listened, in the past, to the late Christopher Hitchens who had a few things to say about people being offended by his words. His response was along the lines of "And? What is your point?".

I do know from personal experience that forum moderation is a very tricky thing because people are pretty fickle. Offense is easily taken and differing opinions are often taken as aggression (the written word doesn't always convey the proper context).

Anyway, a final word of warning. Don't let the easily offended brigade (dressed in their 'moderate garb') destroy this forum.

Back to my cave now. 🙂
 
Beautifully put @Andy HB

I wanted to write something similar but didn't believe I could do it sufficiently eloquently and/or might engender a polarised response and so didn't say anything at all. A case in point

Now will someone line up that poker session? 🙂
 
I would never write anything that I thought would upset anyone in this forum, and I try very hard to remember that there are vulnerable and young people, and compose my posts accordingly. I think that’s what the majority of members do. But it’s sometimes inevitable that something I was thinking won’t have come out in the sense I meant, when someone reads it.
And that’s where honest discussion comes in. I wrote something a while ago and used the phrase 'taking offence' and was immediately castigated and told, I'd better go off and read the Daily Mail if I thought that anything goes on a forum. That’s not what I meant at all, and it was an unnecessary response. What I meant was that it was very easy to give offence if you hadn’t thought your wording through. But I didn’t need a response that, well, made me take offence! All that needed to happen was, 'Robin, I've reported your post because it could be interpreted in a way I don’t think you meant' and I’d have reread it and edited it (as in fact I did).
 
Sorry, I didn't quite get to my cave before remembering a little anecdote from the aforementioned Christopher Hitchens (author/journalist and 'contrarian') which has some resonance with me (and, yes, I looked it up rather trying to tax my memory too much!).

When doctor Samuel Johnson had finished his great lexicography, the first real English dictionary, he was visited by various delegations of people to congratulate him including a delegation of London's respectable womanhood, who came to his parlour in Fleet street and said "Doctor, we congratulate you on your decision to exclude all indecent words from your dictionary". He replied, "Ladies, I congratulate you on your persistence in looking them up!".

'nuff said.

Andy HB
 
@Andy HB yes Christopher Hitchens is an interesting figure, but humour me here, if we are able to imagine the forum as large round wooden table (Knights of Camelot, Monty Python & Holy Grail), with seating all around the table where those closest to the table have more say, are heard from their platforms, and behind-the-scenes have fraternity networks going back to private education, elite universities and their family names cementing their undisputed place at the head of the table leading all debates and discussions, all eyes on them for their opinion, and in the corner of the room jumping up and down behind the seating but mostly ignored, are less privileged folks who are ostracised and not automatically given platforms and their voices don't really matter, and every attempt to push their way to the table seating by force or shouting or desperate tactics, they are elbowed back, and hateful language is used to disempower them and keep them in their place, cowering silently ignored in the dark corners of the room...

This concept is also referred to as the "glass ceiling" and many previous generations of minority groups and campaigners have fought for their place at the table, which inevitably means those who benefit the most from the status quo have to move slightly and shuffle their seats along to make space for new people and new voices not heard before, and there's inevitably backlash, and critiques of legislation challenging discrimination which is empowering minority groups to be more assertive and move past "please don't criminalise our existence, please tolerate us" to the TP - total package of living full lives with same rights and privileges and choices and responsibilities the heads of the table have enjoyed for centuries as given, as default...

And personally I know all about state-sanctioned censorship and oppression having gone through UK education system for full duration of Thatcher's Section 28 legislation quote "banning the promotion of homosexuality in schools and places of education" meaning teachers told me they couldn't do anything about homophobic bullying or even talk to me about anything "LGBTQIA+" for fear of losing their jobs despite nobody ever being prosecuted by this phobic beating stick and this discriminatory legislation wasn't repealed until 2003, and even then was kept as educational policy by Kent County Council, so I have resolved all of that injustice by educating my self about Universal Declaration of Human Rights, Human Rights Act, Gender Recognition Act, Equality Act, Same-sex Marriage Act and Hate Crime legislation as there's no clear way to exist or survive as minority in our society without knowing your rights, go live under rock, on hill, in cave, forever outside of society?

I also didn't die of AIDS or by my own hand or become villain with lisp in Hollywood blockbuster, as other tragic narratives portrayed to me as vulnerable young queer person growing up in the 1980's/1990's, and now I am diagnosed with diabetes and other serious medical conditions as an adult, and here I am at the intersection not apologising for or justifying my existence, just asking for respect and my place at the table like everyone else. Sorry for lack of caustic one-liners and bad taste poop jokes if you read this far thank you, here's some audio visual inspiration anyway... 😉

The Beautiful Audacious Authentic Self Wholeness of Billy Porter...

 
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