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Back after a terrible few weeks qith more questions

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This thread is now closed. Please contact Anna DUK, Ieva DUK or everydayupsanddowns if you would like it re-opened.

Autumn2020

Active Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
So the last few weeks I havent been so strict and the last few days I have been terrible.

Fish and Chips, Takeaways, Quality Street (im sure you get the picture) I feel so angry and ashamed of myself and am sat planning next weeks meals to go shopping in the morning. I have been on a bit of a self-destruct and am now so worried about the damage I will have done. I feel really weak and lost, has anyone gone through this with their diabetes? I am hoping that I can give myself a good kick up the backside and get back to being good but ill be honest I am so worried that I won't smash this.

I know there is not much anyone can say as I know I just have to get on with it, just wanted to get it off my chest I think.

Few questions if anyone can answer for me please

Is sweetner OK? If so does it matter what type?

With the whole covid situation, are you just getting on with life while (wearing masks, washing hands ect) or are you shielding? I am due to start uni in September and am worried about the times we need to actually go in, I don't know what to do.

Thank you if you have read this far and can reply x
 
If you fall off the wagon as I think of it, I just put it behind me and try to get back on the wagon. I personally aim to be more the wagon than off.
I don't have sweeteners , so can't help. I personally don't like sugar free jelly that some like, as the sweetener leaves an after taste.
 
Thank you for your reply. I am going to work really hard to get back on it and loose some more weight. Suppose your right, getting back on is the most important thing and making sure I am on it more than off. Thank you again xx
 
Hi @Autumn2020

I like the quote I heard which is the ‘Diabetes has no memory’ .
Each day is a new start. Just get back in that wagon again.
You clearly know what to do as shown by your list of the things that don’t help.

I am uneasy about the possibility of catching Covid, but I have simply made sure that I am sensible in what I choose to do and how I do it. I can understand your concern about starting at uni. How about contacting them to find out what steps have been taken to keep you Covid safe. That might ease some of your concerns. You will also then be able to follow up with any concerns that you still have.

I have found that more people are being more relaxed regarding Covid restrictions. I am still a little more cautious and waiting to see what happens with the R number.
 
I have definitely been there on a regular basis. I know that feeling of self loathing and disgust. I try to think of all the positives in my life (family etc) and just try and take one day at a time and before you know it a few weeks have passed and you are back on track. Just keep going it is worth it in the end.
 
I did so well in the first 4 weeks, loosing 15.5lbs so I know what I need to do just finding it hard getting back to it.

Thank you for your advice, I will speak to the Uni next week and see what the situation is, maybe they can put my mind at ease x
 
Hello. 🙂 You lost 15.5lbs in four weeks? Wow, well done. Did you do low carb?
 
Yeah, I did low carb and just cut all the chocolate, cake ect out completely. I just need to get to that. My problem is, when I fall of the wagon I just find it so hard to get back on x
 
Sometimes it’s not difficult and other times it is but diversionary tactics can work. For me it’s a matter of not having any snacks in the house and I spend a couple of hours out walking every day. I gradually built up to it, hitting the 10,000 step target once or twice a week - then two or three times a week. I got to hitting the target five or six times a week and I’ve now done it for 60 consecutive days. A good walk brings your BG down and is good for general health and fitness. I vary things too, with one long walk, two mediums or a number of short walks through the day.

A walk is also good “me time”. I always listen to music or a podcast. I don’t generally have the patience to sit at home and listen to podcasts but find any number of topics to listen to whilst walking. A good search brings up loads of podcasts. I listen to podcasts about rugby, cricket, politics, news, history etc.

As regards the Coronavirus I’ve mostly gone about things normally but taken all sensible precautions. However, I live in an area with a low population density. It is very much more difficult in high density areas.

Hopefully you can fight the craving for sweet things. I can’t abide the aftertaste of sweeteners so don’t eat or drink anything with them. My weakness is ice cream and I walk that off.
 
Hi Autumn, thank you for your honesty, I think that is often the starting point as it is easy not to recognise what happens. Like you at the beginning of lockdown I lost quite a bit of weight & then it is like my brain said can't cope with this anymore!! So I am working on the brain fog stuff to try & get the motivation back. It is & can be tough if you do find the chocolate & the sweet stuff give you a lift- I do, I know it's a pattern & sometimes I am better at controlling the need than others. But if you have done it once, you can do it again. I guess it is partly remembering how good it felt to have lost the weight. But it can be really hard getting back on the wagon.
I am sure the anxiety over Uni doesn't help, but as has already been said, they are having to be clear with the way they are handling things which is really positive. I am still being really careful as a lot of people aren't . For me, it is deciding what I need to so to keep safe, that makes me feel more in control . Sometimes I find that out by doing things & then thinking about why I feel how I do. So today I went to a store to get some bits I really wanted for the w/e ( not a food store)- I didn't want to wait, but the store was busier than any other I have been in since lockdown eased, there was a queue that wasn't being managed etc etc. I could feel my anxiety hit the roof & know that I will think more carefully about when I go next time! It sounds to me like you are doing really well & I just want to encourage you to be positive about what you have been able to do.
 
I have sweeteners and they are fine for me. Instead of buying junk chocolate such as Quality Street buy some 85% Dark such as Green & Blacks which has much lower carb
 
Sometimes it’s not difficult and other times it is but diversionary tactics can work. For me it’s a matter of not having any snacks in the house and I spend a couple of hours out walking every day. I gradually built up to it, hitting the 10,000 step target once or twice a week - then two or three times a week. I got to hitting the target five or six times a week and I’ve now done it for 60 consecutive days. A good walk brings your BG down and is good for general health and fitness. I vary things too, with one long walk, two mediums or a number of short walks through the day.

A walk is also good “me time”. I always listen to music or a podcast. I don’t generally have the patience to sit at home and listen to podcasts but find any number of topics to listen to whilst walking. A good search brings up loads of podcasts. I listen to podcasts about rugby, cricket, politics, news, history etc.

As regards the Coronavirus I’ve mostly gone about things normally but taken all sensible precautions. However, I live in an area with a low population density. It is very much more difficult in high density areas.

Hopefully you can fight the craving for sweet things. I can’t abide the aftertaste of sweeteners so don’t eat or drink anything with them. My weakness is ice cream and I walk that off.
[/QUOTE

I am changing what we keep in the house because I do struggle when it is there. I have started making our own ice lollys with just water and cordial. Kids love them too so win win, I am allot more concious of the amount of sugar they are having now too. I dont keep choc/cakes ect in the house anymore. The kids have a biscuit or two after their tea and then they get a little something on the weekends. So it does help not having it in.

My mam has kindly bought me a treadmill so I have been getting allot more steps in. Going to just keep pushing myself and hopefully I will get there x
 
Hi Autumn, thank you for your honesty, I think that is often the starting point as it is easy not to recognise what happens. Like you at the beginning of lockdown I lost quite a bit of weight & then it is like my brain said can't cope with this anymore!! So I am working on the brain fog stuff to try & get the motivation back. It is & can be tough if you do find the chocolate & the sweet stuff give you a lift- I do, I know it's a pattern & sometimes I am better at controlling the need than others. But if you have done it once, you can do it again. I guess it is partly remembering how good it felt to have lost the weight. But it can be really hard getting back on the wagon.
I am sure the anxiety over Uni doesn't help, but as has already been said, they are having to be clear with the way they are handling things which is really positive. I am still being really careful as a lot of people aren't . For me, it is deciding what I need to so to keep safe, that makes me feel more in control . Sometimes I find that out by doing things & then thinking about why I feel how I do. So today I went to a store to get some bits I really wanted for the w/e ( not a food store)- I didn't want to wait, but the store was busier than any other I have been in since lockdown eased, there was a queue that wasn't being managed etc etc. I could feel my anxiety hit the roof & know that I will think more carefully about when I go next time! It sounds to me like you are doing really well & I just want to encourage you to be positive about what you have been able to do.

I definitely take comfort from sweet stuff and often find myself feeling sad that I can't enjoy those things anymore, which I known is silly as my health is most important.

Loosing the weight has been amazing, its been years since I have lost anything. I have weighed myself this morning and despite my few fails I have lost a little more and am now 18.5lb down, I will keep going, thank you for the encouragement, it really helps. You can keep at it too. Suppose we have to just keep thinking about our health and pushing on.

I am going to speak to uni and see what is in place. I have pretty much just been getting on with normal life. We have never eat out much and don't go out drinking so going into pubs ect isn't an issue for us. I wear a mask in shops, wash everything when I get home and keep my distance, just hate the worry now I am at greater risk and just wondered what everyone else was doing x
 
I have sweeteners and they are fine for me. Instead of buying junk chocolate such as Quality Street buy some 85% Dark such as Green & Blacks which has much lower carb

I am going to try some of the dark chocolates for a little fix from time to time and see how I go with those. Thank you for your reply. X
 
I definitely take comfort from sweet stuff and often find myself feeling sad that I can't enjoy those things anymore, which I known is silly as my health is most important.

No need to be sad @Autumn2020, either your sweet tooth will go or you will be able to indulge occasionally when your weight is under control, and you'll enjoy it all the more as a lovely treat. My son (who could get through a box of 4 iced donuts and a box of quality street in one sitting) has been off sweet stuff after being diagnosed with T2 3 or 4 years ago. I bought a small chocolate cake on his birthday in June as a special treat. He had one slice and we froze the rest in portions. He asked the other day if it would still be ok to eat when defrosted. I said yes, did he want a slice and he said not at the moment. He's forgotten about it since then.

Trust me, if my son can forget about eating sweet things, anyone can.

As for getting back on the wagon, yes, it can feel almost impossible sometimes, but you know you can do it so keep persevering. Best wishes to you x
 
@Autumn2020 Small is off to uni in a couple of weeks. There’s been a lot put into place, it’s mostly going to be online now, and she will only be going in for lab work. All clubs and fresher week activities are now online too, unless they can be outside, and I believe the campus accommodation is now in study bubbles as much as is possible.

If it’s anything like what’s been implemented at the local schools it will be very thorough!
 
Hi, @Autumn2020 🙂

I’ve been diabetic for almost 20 years: diagnosed at 29; now a few months off my 49th. birthday! In that time I’ve gone through a lot of phases & battles concerning food! I remember the first thing I thought upon getting the news that I’m diabetic was “Oh no! I can never eat chocolate cake again!”: I loved chocolate cake, chocolate anything, & sweet things; I’d been getting more & more ill in the run up to my diagnosis, had pretty much stopped eating & was actually getting by on drinking Lucozade for energy! This would have been years before the recipe change because of the Sugar Tax & was actually used by hospitals & health centres etc. to treat hypos as it has so much sugar & glucose in it!

One of the first changes I made was change from using sugar to using Artificial Sweeteners & quickly got used to that super sweet taste with a bit of an aftertaste! And that is, in a nutshell, the problem I found with them! They’re very often much sweeter than sugar with virtually no calories! Over the years I found that I was eating more things with sweeteners in it & eating more calories overall as well while I battled gains in weight, dieting, regain the weight & it was always a struggle between the two!

I finally turned a corner at the end of Jan./beginning of Feb. 2018 when I started losing weight steadily, 1/4 stone every week, & was having a series of hypos when, seemingly all of a sudden, my insulin needs were more than halved by the time I’d reduced my insulin doses enough to stop having hypos.

It was because in May 2017 I read a post posted on my Health Centre’s Facebook page about the problems of Artificial Sweeteners that fool your brain into making you eat more. The article posted postulated the theory that the brain associates a certain amount of calories to everything you eat according to how sweet it tastes. With sweeteners actually tasting sweeter than sugar it expects more calories but, sweeteners are virtually calorie free so, there’s a huge deficit that confuses the brain thinking there’s so many calories that have gone missing & sends out signals to make you eat more calorie rich foods to make that up. That starts a cycle whereby the more sweeteners you consume, the greater the deficit your brain perceives & the more calories you end up eating! The article pointed out how a lot of people drinking diet drinks & eating sugar free things also, contrarily, ate very fattening high calories food as well. After reading that, it was like a lightbulb had been switched on in my head & I went “Cold Turkey”, chucking out everything in my house that had sweeteners in it & carefully reading labels to not buy anything with them in it.

It didn’t happen overnight but, slowly over time, so slowly that I actually didn’t notice, I went from eating over 4500 calories a day to eating about 1500 calories a day by the beginning of 2018: I sat down writing out what I used to eat back in May 2017, working out the calories, & what I was then eating in that last week of January & start of February 2018! When I did that I realised I’d gone from drinking 4 2 litres bottles of Coke Zero a week & eating oven baked things in batter, pies, roast potatoes, chips, potato crisps, biscuits & sugar free desserts etc. to things like steamed fish, my own home made vegetable soups, steamed vegetables & a lot less potatoes of any kind & actually taking honey or real sugar in my tea! I just stopped craving certain foods without the sweeteners in my diet & naturally gravitated to other things without feeling hungry!

Because that was the thing: I always seemed to feel hungry no matter how much I ate before I cut out the sweeteners in my diet; ended up eating almost constantly when awake & I couldn’t differentiate separate meals anymore! So, basically injected insulin every 2 hours as I couldn't wait 4 hours between meals like I’m supposed to: I was eating about every 2 hours!

I still read labels carefully & don’t take any sweeteners if I can help it: manufacturers sneak in sweeteners now into things that never used to have them because of The Sugar Tax!

I’m not a saint, never was & still not now, & I do crave things sometimes but, I have a little real sweetness in my diet every day from real sugar. I just add a bit more insulin when I indulge. I don’t binge anymore like I did in the past: craved something & resisted without the craving going away; then, resistance crumbles & I binge on whatever I craved!

I also found a new balance of taste in my cooking. I’m Chinese & there’s quite a lot of sugars in Chinese cooking than you might think: flavours are balanced & there’s often just as much sugar added as there is salt; hot flavours are also, balanced with sweetness too! But, by adding less seasoning you can find a new balance of flavours. The seasoning I actually use the most is black pepper: for more aromatic flavour; rather than the heat of white pepper. I usually don’t use any salt in cooking unless I want to bring out the natural sweetness in something. That natural sweetness can be brought out with just a little salt without adding any sugar. There’s a Chinese rhyme that translates to: for natural sweetness; add salt. But, it’s only just enough for the sweetness to come through: too much & it becomes salty; too salty & you need sugar to balance it out!

Herbs I find really helps to add more flavour to food without more seasoning. While the Chinese use a lot of spices, generally, in cooking; herbs are not used very often. But, I find that dried mixed herbs, I like Schwartz, really add something to a lot of dishes that then don’t need so much seasoning. So, I actually go for, & have, more flavour in my cooking now & less seasoning!

My tastebuds can, & have been, re-educated so, I enjoy it more when I DO have the few sweet things. I went from only eating sweet milk chocolate to eating high cocoa mass dark chocolate. Started off with the industry standard of 70% & it DID seem bitter at first but, got used to it & it actually gives a better chocolate high or hit! Then, slowly worked my way up to what I find still gives me the chocolate hit without it tasting too bitter: I like 85% now; other members‘ posts I’ve read have gone up to 90% or 100% which is too bitter for me! I eat a lot less chocolate now & hardly crave it at all & only have 1 square, or maybe 2, when I DO eat it: there’s much more of a chocolate hit from 85% dark chocolate than you’d ever get from milk chocolate; less satisfies more!
 
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