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Best friend needs some advice...

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This thread is now closed. Please contact Anna DUK, Ieva DUK or everydayupsanddowns if you would like it re-opened.

Neil W

New Member
I've just joined the diabetes uk group 10 minutes ago as I know forum's are a massive help. I don't have diabetes-but was diagnosed a few years back with genetic haemochromatosis..it's no biggy-but a life/lifestyle changer. Since diagnosis ( apart from my partner and family ) my best friend has been there all the way -hospital visits ( quite a few ) and has become quite a font of knowledge on it after researching indepth .. It meant so much and still does. 48 hours ago said best friend gets diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. Ive cooked her Sunday lunch today...she has shown me all the 'equipment' and we have talked and talked. She's a clever lady-mid 40's..but lives on her own . My question for you all is how do I be a better friend apart from the obvious...how can i positively help and is there anything I shouldn't say/do. Any comments would be helpful ...thankyou thankyou thankyou .
 
Hi @Neil W welcome to the forum. It is really good to hear that you wish to help support your best friend. Others will be along soon with thoughts and ideas.
As with any condition, problem etc sometimes what we need most is someone who will listen and be there for them, it sure sounds like you are already doing that.
The diagnosis may well have come as an awful shock to her, I am guessing that she was very ill ?

Their are an awful lot of misconceptions and misinformation about all types of diabetes out there on the www. So you have come to the right place for info, so ask as many questions as you need to about T1 diabetes
I think it would be a good idea to tell your friend about this forum.

Please don’t take this the wrong way as this is kindly meant ! Some of us may find certain things difficult So a diabetic etiquette card for non diabetics has been produced BDIAdultEtiquetteCard

If you’d like to do some research on T1 Diabetes you can do no better than have a read through the T1 section of this thread
Useful links for people new to diabetes
For future reference you’ll find it pinned to the top of the newbies forum
useful-links-for-people-new-to-diabetes

This book called type 1 Diabetes in children and young adults comes highly recommended, tell your fried not to be put off by the title as it’suitable for all ages. https://www.amazon.co.uk/Type-Diabe...irect=true&ref_=as_li_tl&tag=poemforactidi-21

I hope you find the above helpful.
 
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Bump
 
Hi Neil

Could you say you've heard of a helpful and friendly forum and subtlety point her this way? Maybe delete your thread so she doesn't see it🙂
 
Hi Neil

Could you say you've heard of a helpful and friendly forum and subtlety point her this way? Maybe delete your thread so she doesn't see it🙂
HI Neil. If you wish to do as @Lisa66 suggests. I can’t speak for others but I would be happy to have my posts deleted.
 
Hi Neil, what a great friend you are 🙂 if any of my friends had taken the time to join a forum and ask how best to support me, I would be SO chuffed! However I appreciate we are all very different so I would also be ok having my post deleted, I just wanted to thank you for caring enough to want to know more :D
 
It sounds as though you have the best basis of knowing how to help your friend: you have her trust and she’s already sharing with you how she is coping with it. She’s involved you at the start of her journey with Diabetes so you can travel it together.
Personally I’ve found forums like this one invaluable so if she doesn’t already know about this one then the next best favour you could do would be to introduce her to us.
 
Well done Neil & welcome to forum. A positive post from yourself & I hope your friend is doing ok. Food with carbs do the most damage so take them easy. If you do a manual job its harder to get the balance right but not impossible. Good luck 🙂
 
Thankyou all . I told my lovely friend earlier that I had joined a forum group-I'm spending tomorrow evening with her -cooking her a nice bit of fresh fish (I'm a chef !) and we share everything so would never delete any of the above. She has an amazing nurse who is just an angel and going above and beyond the call of duty over the past week to care/guide/help .. so for now my friend has stepped away from the internet . perhaps not a bad thing...but I will definitely nudge her in this direction . It might sound a silly question...??...but I want to get her a meditag/ICE....is it imporatant?-do most of you wear one? . Big love to you all . Neil x
 
Fish is great. No carbs ! Batter etc has but oily fish is good. Good luck 🙂
 
Hello Neil, and welcome - we could all do with friends like you 🙂

I must admit I don't wear a tag of any kind, but I do have a card in my wallet which says I have type 1 diabetes and that in an emergency I should be given something sugary. The diabetes clinic at the hospital might give your friend one, but if not there are plenty about. I also have several of these on my keyring.

Some people wear bracelets which say type 1 diabetic, but I think the problem with these is that public perception of diabetes is so inaccurate a lot of people wouldn't know what it meant or what to do in an emergency, they need a bit more information. So if you're getting an ICE tag or something of that sort it would need enough info. for people to know what to do, not just contact details (eg most people think diabetics can't have sugar, so providing the information that the best thing to do for an obviously ill (insulin-dependant) diabetic is to give them sugar is really important).

The other thing I have, which might be useful for your friend as she lives alone, is a Lions Bottle in my fridge. You put all your medical details on the form they provide, put the form in the bottle, put the bottle in your fridge door, and put stickers on your fridge and on the inside of your front door. Then if paramedics are ever called out to you in an emergency and you're not functional enough to talk to them (quite likely if severely hypo) they can immediately access your medical information and know what to do straight away. You can get the bottles, forms, & stickers from chemists.
 
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Thankyou all . I told my lovely friend earlier that I had joined a forum group-I'm spending tomorrow evening with her -cooking her a nice bit of fresh fish (I'm a chef !) and we share everything so would never delete any of the above. She has an amazing nurse who is just an angel and going above and beyond the call of duty over the past week to care/guide/help .. so for now my friend has stepped away from the internet . perhaps not a bad thing...but I will definitely nudge her in this direction . It might sound a silly question...??...but I want to get her a meditag/ICE....is it imporatant?-do most of you wear one? . Big love to you all . Neil x
TBH I think she is wise to stay away from the internet about diabetes except for sites like this one their are two others that I know of as their is so much mis information out their and charlatans waiting to part people from their hard earned dosh.
It can take a bit of time to get over the shock of diagnosis and with T1 their is so much to get to grips with straight away, so she may be suffering from a bit of info overload atm. It’s good to hear she has good friends like you and an amazing nurse looking out for her.

As for diabetic Id , imo most of the general public believe that we must not have sugar under any
circumstances 😱 or when we are hypo in public they think we’re drunk:( (I would much rather have a real hangover than a hypo one as at least then I would know it’s because I had enjoyed myself :D)
Sorry back on topic 🙂 Give it a little time then see what you friend wants , imo such id is for the emergency services. I decided to wear a Medic Alert bracelet, just a stainless steel one as I didn’t want some unscrupulous person pinching a silver or gold one off me , you pay for the jewellery plus around £30 a year. They hold details of conditions, allergies medications , Id and emergency contact details on file plus the disc is engraved with certain info.
Some people wear rubber bands, their is quite a choice in our shop on the main site just click on our logo at the top of every page, some people prefer not to wear anything but carry cards in their purse/wallet.
 
I have a rubber band around my wrist & a Medic Alert badge on me all the time.
 
If you ever make something which might have a lot of carbs in it, but you use ingredients to make it low carb then you need to be able to give a good estimate of the carbs per serving.
A trifle made with sugar free jelly, almond flour biscuits, real custard, low carb fruits might seem to be something which could spike the glucose, but it is actually almost invisible in the need for insulin.
It would make a hypo less likely, to know the carb count of a meal or dish.
 
Again-appreciate your help and advice. Thankyou.
Cooked up a healthy low carb Sunday lunch for us today ( Roast chicken , roast butternut squash, braised baby gem lettuce and red cabbage with apple )..THE 1ST Sunday lunch in many many many many many years without alcohol/potatoes/Yorkshire pudding !!!!! Was it missed ? Nope. Not at all. I hate saying it but we both felt better for not having potatoes and Yorkshire pudding...and more importantly booze ! My friend is keeping a food log/carb counter on her phone-which I guess will be useful in the coming weeks .
 
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