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Violent type 1

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A

Amber02

New Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Hi everyone i am new here so please bare with me.
I have been with my boyfriend for 4 years and when he goes low (below 2) he gets very violent and aggresive his dad has to hold him down and put gluco gel in his mouth. When he is at my house my brothers have to hold him down while i put gluco gel in his mouth. But today his parents are on holiday and he went low he had no gluco gel and i had to go to work i left him with orange juice and tried waking him... which ended up him swinging punches at me and i ran out the door. so my question: can anyone tell me what i should do in these situations? At the end of my tether... will we ever be able to move out together and feel comfortable leaving him alone?
 
Personally I'd be inclined to call an ambulance in that situation. You can't be expected to put yourself in harms way like that. I'd be looking for the causes of such bad hypos too, it shouldn't be happening that badly or frequently x
 
Thats the thing he would be having the ambulance round 5times a year atleast and will moan that his driving lisence will get taken away in the end... i just can’t help him though he goes to the gym everyday and is getting stronger and stronger when i ask what shall i do in this situation he tells me to just leave him... if i leave him will he get worse?
 
Amber02 said:
Thats the thing he would be having the ambulance round 5times a year atleast and will moan that his driving lisence will get taken away in the end... i just can’t help him though he goes to the gym everyday and is getting stronger and stronger when i ask what shall i do in this situation he tells me to just leave him... if i leave him will he get worse?
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If he's hypo then he shouldn't be left under any circumstances, hypos can be fatal. Quite honestly if he's requiring that many ambulance call outs then he needs to address what's going on and get help from his diabetes team. If he gets his licence taken away then it's just an unfortunate consequence, you absolutely cannot leave him in that state!
 
Its actually quite normal, or should I say common, to get a bit bad tempered when having a hypo, especially an unexpected, particularly low one....

Is he willing to treat himself when he is having one.....he should be.....thats the first thing for him to change.....you and any other family members must allow him to do so also...

if as you say he is low and not responding, thats an ambulance situation right there.....

ultimately he needs to work towards better control as well as taking more responsibility for his hypos...
 
Oh no i wouldn’t leave him knowing he won’t be ok... my brother went round and sat with him until my boyfriend went to work... he just needs a kick up the butt to get him to make these hospital appointments :/
 
novorapidboi26 said:
Its actually quite normal, or should I say common, to get a bit bad tempered when having a hypo, especially an unexpected, particularly low one....

Is he willing to treat himself when he is having one.....he should be.....thats the first thing for him to change.....you and any other family members must allow him to do so also...
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Not always that easy though, I'm certainly not very cooperative when hypo in terms of other people treating me and will actively fight off anyone who tries! I'll flat out deny I'm hypo and refuse to let anyone near me. Now avoided by using the libre to fend off severe hypos!
 
novorapidboi26 said:
Its actually quite normal, or should I say common, to get a bit bad tempered when having a hypo, especially an unexpected, particularly low one....

Is he willing to treat himself when he is having one.....he should be.....thats the first thing for him to change.....you and any other family members must allow him to do so also...

if as you say he is low and not responding, thats an ambulance situation right there.....

ultimately he needs to work towards better control as well as taking more responsibility for his hypos...
Click to expand...
Thannk you for your reply yes in the end it takes a while fo him to come back around but he drinks a sugary tea or whatever else its just the stress of his violent out bursts i don’t know how to deal with do i just leave him and His sugars come up?
 
Hi Amber, sorry to hear all this :( Whilst it is not necessarily his fault that he becomes aggressive when hypo, as his brain will be struggling with the situation making rational thought very difficult, he must take responsibility for the fact that this is happening to such an extent, and so frequently. I think you all need to sit him down and speak plainly to him that he needs to get to the bottom of the causes of these frequent, severe hypos and do something about reducing them. There are very few people on insulin treatment who don't have hypos, but most of the time they are easily treatable, and often a reason may be found to explain them so that the situation can be avoided in future. He needs to be persuaded to speak to his DSN (Diabetes Specialist Nurse) about these problems so that a solution can be found.

Is he ever able (or even curious) to explain the causes of the hypos? How long has he been diagnosed?
 
Amber02 said:
Thannk you for your reply yes in the end it takes a while fo him to come back around but he drinks a sugary tea or whatever else its just the stress of his violent out bursts i don’t know how to deal with do i just leave him and His sugars come up?
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I'm sorry if this reply sounds brutally honest but if he is having hypos and he is left whilst having them/they are not treated he could die as a result of the hypo or end up in a permanent vegetative state. Untreated hypos are VERY dangerous and too many people, adults and children, die from them each year. Also if he is having two or more hypos a year that need assistance, even if an ambulance is not called, then he MUST legally report this to DVLA otherwise he is breaking the law. I really feel for you but he does need urgently about how to prevent these severe hypos.
 
The thing is - yes we all have hypos - but try and catch them before we get that low and it's then only a minor inconvenience to everyone including us. The IMPORTANT thing about EVERY hypo is to identify why we went that low - precisely so we can try to avoid it happening in the future.

Do his insulin doses need adjusting (they never stay the same for 'ages' - I was clueless about that for years cos nobody told me) or does he not get the hypo symptoms until his BG is already that far down that he hasn't got time to treat it before he slides into the 'aggressive' phase? Both are quite easily sorted once he's received the proper advice from his specialist nurse at the hospital diabetes clinic.

They are buggers for assuming we 'must already' know stuff cos we've been diabetics for years - but half the time - we simply don't!

Normally at hospital diabetes clinics they are available at the end of a phone (or will ring us back when it's urgent) and the nurses, who are REALLY helpful, can make urgent appointments - eg can you come over and see me later today?
 
Amber02 said:
Thats the thing he would be having the ambulance round 5times a year atleast and will moan that his driving lisence will get taken away in the end... i just can’t help him though he goes to the gym everyday and is getting stronger and stronger when i ask what shall i do in this situation he tells me to just leave him... if i leave him will he get worse?
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As he has hypos that he can not treat he is not allowed to drive and his ins is invalid as is his licence.
He needs to put on his big boy pants and sort himself out. He obviously can not look after himself so you can't expect him to look after you.
First port of call is to work out why he is going low as he is which normally means far to much insulin or not enough carbs to cover what he is eating.
Look in the pump section first and read the sticky about basal testing and start from there as it applies to pumpers as well as people injecting.
You also need to sort out with his health care team a plan of action so he can help himself.
 
I disagree that Amber needs to do it Sue - HE needs to do it. She ain't his mother or even his next of kin or even his carer. Amber needs to insist that HE does it !
 
PS Obviously I do agree that he has no valid licence if he can't declare every day he drives that he's not had more than two assisted hypos in the previous 12 months, and that his insurance would be invalid in that case. ie driving on any day when he (or anyone else using insulin) can't truthfully say it, would be illegal!
 
Sorry to hear of your situation Amber. It is easy for people to normalise this number and severity of hypos, and just carry on doing the same things with the same consequences - but as you can tell from the responses here it is NOT normal for a type 1 to go that low that often. It's not unheard of, and there are many contributory factors that can be involved (eg hypo unawareness) but these are treatable and for the most part recoverable.

At the very least there are proven ways to have fewer. There are special training courses not only in insulin dosing, but also specifically around hypos. There are also bits of tech that can help, if his hospital know he needs them and support him to get them. But it will take effort and he needs to put the effort in.

Find out why they are happening. Speak to his clinic for help. Fess up to the DVLA. Start taking action to reduce the number of ANY little dips under 4.0, let alone under 3. Some will be unavoidable, but by the time his BG gets into the low 3s upper 2s his body should be screaming at him for glucose - and at the moment it doesn't sound like it is. :(

You can't help and support him otherwise. If he shrugs and says he 'can't be bothered with all that' or 'this is just how it is with T1', I'm sorry to say that he isn't looking after himself and isn't respecting you.

It doesn't have to be like this for him - or for those that love him.
 
Awful predicament to be in. No easy way to say this but he needs to stop driving immediately. If he (god forbid) had an accident and caused serious injury or death to another person he would be in serious trouble. For his own sake get him to declare assisted hypos. Seek advice from diabetic clinic to sort his hypos out. Then in 12 months or so he could get his licence back. Best wishes for a solution.
 
Hi Amber. So sorry to hear your story. It must be terrifying for you. Just echoing what others have said. Having regular hypos that low is not inevitable or normal. I have only had a couple of hypos under 2 and these have been at night when I have not woken up quick enough. Please see if he will get help to get them under control.
 
Amber02 said:
Thats the thing he would be having the ambulance round 5times a year atleast and will moan that his driving lisence will get taken away in the end... i just can’t help him though he goes to the gym everyday and is getting stronger and stronger when i ask what shall i do in this situation he tells me to just leave him... if i leave him will he get worse?
Click to expand...
If he is having such bad hypos and not managing to pick them up then he should not be driving anyway. He is a danger to himself and others. He needs to work with his Diabetes team to find ways in which to improve his control.
 
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