Partnertype1
New Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
My partner has had Type 1 since he was 10 years old. He's now 24, we've been together for 2 years and I love him to bits. Too much maybe, he's scaring me very much at the moment. He's never properly looked after himself since I've known him and I've tried in many ways to get him to wake up and love himself like I do. I got used to his life and his way of doing this and have stopped bothering really. We've been out tonight and he got very drunk, which we've done before, and I've witnessed the violent vomiting before too, but I never realised how serious it was. I feel awful. I feel responsible. I've sat here crying by his bedside for the last hour, checking his blood sugar every 5 minutes. I've read everything there is on the NHS website and I'm so scared. What can I do to help him? He's had this for such a long time I think he just doesn't think about how serious it is anymore. He's so upset with the fact that he's got it that he doesn't manage it correctly because he'd rather pretend it doesn't exist. He just eats whatever he wants (which is usually a lot of fat, salt and sugar) and pumps himself with more and more insulin. How do I help him when he doesn't seem to want to help himself? I wish I could take it from him. What can I do?
It's not uncommon, unfortunately, particularly in young adults who were diagnosed during childhood. Often, it is assumed by healthcare professionals that people who have grown up with it must know all about it, and often just leave people to get on with it unless they speak up. Does he attend his diabetes appointments? It sounds like you need to sit down with him and explain just how he is making you feel - not putting pressure on him, but explaining that you want to help support him in getting control of his situation. The thing about this sort of denial that he appears to be going through is that it is making his life far more difficult than it would be if he just accepted things as they are and started paying his diabetes the small amount of attention it needs each day to keep things on the straight and narrow. That's far easier said than done, of course, but if he can take things one step at a time, each step can feel like big progress.