Sorry to hear you have such mixed messages and confusion - not very helpful! After reading your husband's story, I am not surprised the thought of diabetes sends you into a panic. Sounds like you have a great attitude though and like you say, this forum is invaluable.
By looking cArefully at your diet and making a few modifications you give yourself the best chance of staying pre- diabetic. As you are probably aware, it's the carbs that we have to watch, so I suggest writing a food diary and working out the mount of carbs you would normally eat. To help you discover which of those carbs might cause your blood sugar levels to rise more than others, you could get a blood sugar testing meter. You will probably have to fund this yourself, although it may be worth an ask at the surgery. The cheapest we have found is the Codefree, which I used when I was first diagnosed and is a great little meter. If you test before you eat, and then two hours afterwards you are looking to have a rise of no more than 2. Lots of people here finf they tolerate carbs less well in the mornings and we tend to eat quite high carbs things for breakfast (eg cereals, toast etc) , so you could start there.
There are some excellent links at the top of the newbies section on how and why to test, what levels to try for etc. best of luck and let us know how you get on