Cat1964
Well-Known Member
- Relationship to Diabetes
- Type 2
When I was first diagnosed with diabetes I took everything I was told to heart and decided I could beat this. I stopped eating all rubbish immediately and turned my diet upside down. No sweets, no more white bread, as little carbs as possible etc. I was doing lots of testing to find out what foods put my BS level up. Then one day a few months ago I suddenly felt very overwhelmed by it all and thought I can't do this anymore. I stopped testing, gave up the healthy eating and went back to eating what I liked. I missed my appointments with my DN and haven't been back to my doctors surgery since because i don't want to be confronted about missing appointments. If I need repeat prescriptions I get someone to collect the prescription from the surgery for me so that I don't have to face them. Over the past few weeks the diabetes thing has been preying on my mind. I know I need to get back on track with taking care of myself but feel at a loss as to how to go about it. I know I need to get back to healthy eating and cutting out all the rubbish, less carbs etc. I saw an article on the BBC website today where this man was saying after the diabetes diagnosis your life will never be the same. And I thought how true is that and I think that's my problem. I don't want my life to change but I know it has to. At the moment I have no visible signs of the damage diabetes can do to me but if I don't look after myself I know the damage can be serious. I'm struggling big time with all my thoughts and feelings about diabetes. My daughter and friend moan at me that I am not looking after myself but I feel that no-one wants to help or support me in this. It's all very well them telling me I'm not looking after myself but if they're nagging me by telling me 'you can't eat that' it doesn't help. It also doesn't help when I try to be good and hubby or daughter come home with chocolate, ice cream or something that I know is bad for my diabetes. When I was first diagnosed they would both eat their chocolate or ice cream in their rooms or in the kitchen, leaving me alone in the living room. I eventually told them I was okay if they had these things in the living room because I felt they were making me feel the 'odd one out'. I know I want to help myself out of this because I am back to feeling so tired again and I have no energy. Every day just now seems like a struggle. I go to work come home and am so tired that I sit in front of the TV almost comatose till its time to go to bed and I am still exhausted when I wake up in the morning to get ready for work. I don't want to end up with bad feet, kidney damage, retinopathy and I want my life to be as long as possible, not cut short because of diabetes. I am angry at myself and my inability to deal with it just now. I visit this site every day and everyone seems to cope well with it and get on.........so why can't I??? As I said, I do know what I need to do to get back on track with taking care of myself but am struggling with it all just now. Sorry if I sound self pitying or moaning but I've never told anyone lately how I feel. And as no-one else in my family has diabetes its hard to make them understand, so thanks for letting me moan. 😱
Despite appearances, we all do suffer from this 'burnout' from time to time - it's very common with chronic conditions t do so well for so long, then everything becomes too much to handle. You're not alone, and I'm glad you have let us know how you are feeling. I would say, don't feel that you will be 'told off' at your appointments, it's one of those things where you may falter, but you mustn't feel inhibited or intimidated by confronting it, you have to 'get back on the horse'. You know, as we all do, that not looking after yourself makes you feel worse, and that if you can start taking care of yourself again, you will feel better, but it can be difficult to find the energy and determination to get back on track.
