Dark days

[Lauras87]

I thought I'd got over my dark moods with my diabetes, I had them when I was first diagnosed & in the past month they have crept up on me.

I went to bed fed up & woke up absolutely f**ked off with being diabetic.

My mates are out drinking & having fun but I don't want to go given I can never get drunk like them. If I drink anything other than spirits I need insulin & food to go with it.

I want to be a normal 25 year old woman

It's taken me all my time to test & inject as I don't want this disease anymore.

There is always talk of a cure but when will the government get off their backsides & help the charities that support us?

Maybe by the time I've got rid of this bug ill feel better as I seem to be taking enough insulin to sink the titanic.

 

[brett]

Ditto, im feeling alot more positive about things since having a date for my pump. But, at the moment got a sore throat and ears with the biggest bells ever ringing in them. Mates all gone out for the day for a local footie cup final and hitting the pubs after all day and night. Feeling hacked off can't go

Hope you feel better soon lauras.

 

[Lauras87]

It's horrible isn't it? My mates don't understand why I can't do big sessions.

I wish I was in your boat, pump day is 5 months away & I'd love to be on it now.
Be warned I will be wanting to know all about it from you!

Hope you feel better too 🙂

 

[brett]

Yes same, my mates can't understand that I can't drink like I used to before my diagnosis, as I used to keep up with them but now can't. Am on the mend and going to be back in work monday. Will update you on thursday lol. Already had that day booked off work for something else, which I've had to re schedule otherwise it would of been another 6 months for the next pump class. That was a strange coincidence.

 

[rossi_mac]

Sorry to hear you're feeling this way Lauras, hope you shake them away quick smart, we are all here if you need a whinge.

PS what is a normal 25 year old like??

Chin up

Rossi🙂

 

[Lauras87]

Sorry to hear you're feeling this way Lauras, hope you shake them away quick smart, we are all here if you need a whinge.

PS what is a normal 25 year old like??

Chin up

Rossi🙂

I felt better for having my sketch pad out but sadly all my materials are at my mums so can't make anything to calm me.

Normal as in having no cares, wearing very little, going out drinking, partying & endless shopping etc

Unlike me who is worrying if ill still have a job by September (thank you government), stressing about my diabetes, if I have enough money til pay day & if ill ever meet mr right etc

 

[AJLang]

Hugs Laura. I hope you feel better tomorrow. I know it might not help me saying this but I've had diabetes since I was two and I've never let it stop me doing anything that I want to which I'm really glad about as it means that I have no regrets now that other health problems have got in the way x

 

[Lauras87]

Hugs Laura. I hope you feel better tomorrow. I know it might not help me saying this but I've had diabetes since I was two and I've never let it stop me doing anything that I want to which I'm really glad about as it means that I have no regrets now that other health problems have got in the way x

I feel guilty for complaining as I know a few people on here have had it since being very young where as I was a teenager.
But sometimes I'd like my old life back with diving & swimming for the city of Leeds & doing netball.

I'm just getting very paranoid about my night hypos & living alone

 

[Mark T]

...Normal as in having no cares, wearing very little, going out drinking, partying & endless shopping etc...

I don't remember doing any of that when I was 25 😛

I'd got my first mortgage by then (was living in Lancashire at the time) - so definitely had some cares! 😱

Big drinking sessions are overrated in any case. I met too many at Uni who were either well on their way to permanent liver damage or who got so drunk that they ended up unconscious with no recollection of what they were doing the previous night. What's the point in having fun if you don't remember any of it?

 

[LeeLee]

Hi Laura, this won't make you feel any better about the D, but... at 25 I had a 4-year-old ray of sunshine, an alcoholic husband, a full-time job and responsibility for all the household bills. In the subsequent 20 years, my child grew up, I ditched the d***head and, wait for it, developed D. Ho hum, if fate is out to get you, it usually wins!

 

[AJLang]

Don't apologise this is the place for letting off steam...I'm sure that you will have noticed that I've posted quite a bit when feeling sorry for myself🙂. Please don't let the diabetes get in the way of doing the things that you want to do....there are very, very few things that Type 1 diabetes should stop you from doing you just sometimes have to get help and advice about how to do them. Why do you feel that it has stopped you from diving and the swimming for Leeds? If it's about getting the insulin doses right ask about advice on here because there are some very athletic people. As for drinking......well I have more than a few memories of very drunken nights, some flexibility with your BGs is fine as long as you avoid hypos when drinking

 

[Lauras87]

I don't remember doing any of that when I was 25 😛

I'd got my first mortgage by then (was living in Lancashire at the time) - so definitely had some cares! 😱

Big drinking sessions are overrated in any case. I met too many at Uni who were either well on their way to permanent liver damage or who got so drunk that they ended up unconscious with no recollection of what they were doing the previous night. What's the point in having fun if you don't remember any of it?

I have a mortgage now & have done for over a year, it's just the job thing that's bugging me. I've been told my job is safe for now but we don't know the affect yet it will have on staffing levels
My mates say what fun they had at the weekend & what drinks they tried & if I go, I'm on diet coke or water so feel boring compared to them

Hi Laura, this won't make you feel any better about the D, but... at 25 I had a 4-year-old ray of sunshine, an alcoholic husband, a full-time job and responsibility for all the household bills. In the subsequent 20 years, my child grew up, I ditched the d***head and, wait for it, developed D. Ho hum, if fate is out to get you, it usually wins!

Very true LeeLee.

 

[Lauras87]

Don't apologise this is the place for letting off steam...I'm sure that you will have noticed that I've posted quite a bit when feeling sorry for myself🙂. Please don't let the diabetes get in the way of doing the things that you want to do....there are very, very few things that Type 1 diabetes should stop you from doing you just sometimes have to get help and advice about how to do them. Why do you feel that it has stopped you from diving and the swimming for Leeds? If it's about getting the insulin doses right ask about advice on here because there are some very athletic people. As for drinking......well I have more than a few memories of very drunken nights, some flexibility with your BGs is fine as long as you avoid hypos when drinking

I feel it's stopped me as the training was hard going before you got in the water & if I'm at a comp, I wouldn't want to be needing to check or wanting to eat half way through or worse still being hypo & not knowing given I'd be in water.
I occasionally run or walk to work which takes an hour but I panic so much about hypos (part of the reason I'm getting the pump)

 

[Mark T]

I'd agree that it would be nice to not be Diabetic any more.

I certainly watch my wife or little boy destroying a nice cake when we are out for a treat and wish that I could grab more then just a mouthful (I'm lucky I can get away with that). It gets to the point that sometimes I wonder if it would be better to go out of control for a while and try to get put on insulin, because at least that way I could eat anything I fancied!

Not that doing that is really a sensible solution.

But then, there always is...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJUhlRoBL8M

 

[Lauras87]

I'd agree that it would be nice to not be Diabetic any more.

I certainly watch my wife or little boy destroying a nice cake when we are out for a treat and wish that I could grab more then just a mouthful (I'm lucky I can get away with that). It gets to the point that sometimes I wonder if it would be better to go out of control for a while and try to get put on insulin, because at least that way I could eat anything I fancied!

Not that doing that is really a sensible solution.

But then, there always is...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJUhlRoBL8M

Don't wish for insulin! My mum often tells me I stink after I've injected!!!

That must be hard for you, cake isn't all it's cracked up to be! (Don't tell Tom - my diabetes, he likes cake & sweets. Basically he's a naughty child!)

 

[lauraw1983]

Please stop letting your diabetes stop you doing things. Do NOT let it control you, YOU control it.

All day drinking sessions are not all they are cracked up to be anyway but all you need to do is keep checking your sugars more regularly and every few drinks make sure you have a normal full sugar drink too. I wouldn't hugely stress over high numbers in the short term for a day/night out tbh but that's just me.

I'd also make sure I had toast or something before bed too, carby snack to keep things in check over night & then the next day reduce basal cos hypos when hungover are very common & annoying!!

You're only young once - live your life!

 

[Lauras87]

Please stop letting your diabetes stop you doing things. Do NOT let it control you, YOU control it.

I know but some times I feel that I lost me a long time ago.

 

[Vix]

Laura, I completely empathise with you! It doesn't bother me that I can't drink anymore as I was diagnosed when 11 and the only time I drank I ended up in hospital after 1 drink so never touched a drop then... It used to really get to me at uni,and I felt really outcast at times esp as I was the volleyball president and everyone was getting drunk around me, but actually as hard as it was it meant I had to get my confidence from myself and not alcohol! But what does that say about society??

As you know, I'm going through a really difficult patch with the old diabetes and it's easy to say stop letting your diabetes control you but when it does control your mood swings it's not easy - I'm amazed my hubby is still with me given the way I feel when my sugars are high!! My sugars are on a complete rollercoaster at the mo and working with my DSN and diabetes team even they are struggling to understand what's going wrong...

I don't have a solution, trust me I wish I did... but I'm glad to see you use your creativity as an outlet as that helps me every time and I never go anywhere without my sketchbook and pen, although I'm not sure what sketching a hen had to do with anything today other than I felt like it 😉 Get some fabric out and sew sew sew 😉

Big hugs to everyone who needs them, and I'm sure we're not alone when we wish that we could just experience one day without the dreaded D!

Xx

 

[Lauras87]

I don't have a solution, trust me I wish I did... but I'm glad to see you use your creativity as an outlet as that helps me every time and I never go anywhere without my sketchbook and pen, although I'm not sure what sketching a hen had to do with anything today other than I felt like it 😉 Get some fabric out and sew sew sew 😉

Big hugs to everyone who needs them, and I'm sure we're not alone when we wish that we could just experience one day without the dreaded D!

Xx

I feel happy for sketching even tho what I drew was stupid & rubbish.

When I'm prime minster, I'm opening diabetes camps so we can send diabetes away for weeks at a time.

 

[HOBIE]

A diabetic holiday would be nice ! I think its good for me "Getting out" & letting some steam out of me head 😱 Take care !