Worried by well meaning friends..

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SamInnocent

SamInnocent

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 1
Well, I've had a bit of a weekend diabetes-wise. I visited my two best friends and in the evening I was in the kitchen making us all a cup of tea when I decided I'd do a test. After discovering I was 3.2 and knowing that I'd be having my evening meal in about an hour, I reached for my glucose tablets.

After managing to eat 2 of them, one of my friends came rushing into the kitchen and grabbed the remaining tablets out of my hand telling me that I should be eating "real food" not glucose tablets. She then told me to get a chocolate bar out of the fridge which (admittedly stupidly!) I did.

This really confused me and I was trying to explain that the fat in chocolate means that it won't help me sort out my hypo quickly enough but her response was that I was using glucose tablets to replace proper food. 😱 Granted I'm trying to lose weight, but I am NOT, repeat NOT using glucose tablets as some sort of horrible-tasting and chalky meal replacement. I'm just eating more healthily, exercising and instead of stuffing my face with biscuits and chocolate when I have a hypo, I'm using glucose tablets which are lower in fat!

So, my question is - how do I convince my friends that I shouldn't be made to feel guilty for having a few glucose tablets when I'm hypo and that they are, in fact, better at treating the hypo than chocolate or other sweets? I feel that if I can't feel comfortable testing in her house, I won't be able to go there anymore - after all I don't want to have to sneak up to a bedroom to test and then treat a hypo because she doesn't like me using glucose tablets. :(
 
SamInnocent said:
Well, I've had a bit of a weekend diabetes-wise. I visited my two best friends and in the evening I was in the kitchen making us all a cup of tea when I decided I'd do a test. After discovering I was 3.2 and knowing that I'd be having my evening meal in about an hour, I reached for my glucose tablets.

After managing to eat 2 of them, one of my friends came rushing into the kitchen and grabbed the remaining tablets out of my hand telling me that I should be eating "real food" not glucose tablets. She then told me to get a chocolate bar out of the fridge which (admittedly stupidly!) I did.

This really confused me and I was trying to explain that the fat in chocolate means that it won't help me sort out my hypo quickly enough but her response was that I was using glucose tablets to replace proper food. 😱 Granted I'm trying to lose weight, but I am NOT, repeat NOT using glucose tablets as some sort of horrible-tasting and chalky meal replacement. I'm just eating more healthily, exercising and instead of stuffing my face with biscuits and chocolate when I have a hypo, I'm using glucose tablets which are lower in fat!

So, my question is - how do I convince my friends that I shouldn't be made to feel guilty for having a few glucose tablets when I'm hypo and that they are, in fact, better at treating the hypo than chocolate or other sweets? I feel that if I can't feel comfortable testing in her house, I won't be able to go there anymore - after all I don't want to have to sneak up to a bedroom to test and then treat a hypo because she doesn't like me using glucose tablets. :(
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with me, i tend to ignore anyone who does that

but

tell them you know best, sit them down and explain the situation, whats best for a hypo. They need to understand that telling you what to do doesn't help

you could also give them a copy of the diabetes etiquette card -http://www.behavioraldiabetes.org/downloads/Etiquette-Card.pdf
 
I'm afraid how I'd respond initially probably isn't suitable for posting here.....!

However with a more rational head on I'd probably want to have a chat about hypos in general and how best to treat them, maybe backed up with some DUK or similar resources. And I would make a point of saying that when it comes to my diabetes I will decide how best to treat it. Someone posted this http://www.accu-chek.com/documents/resource-center/etiquetteonepage.pdf on here a while ago which may or may not be of use/

Are they worried about what you're eating in general or is it just in relation to hypos? Just wondering if they have concerns, rightly or wrongly, in general and it spilled over into this? I know before I was diagnosed because I had lost so much weight my friends were convinced I had some sort of eating disorder and often behaved quite irrationally in what they said to me because they were worried, of course their reaction was to try and feed me lots of sugary stuff, not really what you need as an undiagnosed diabetic!
 
I'd ask your friend what her sources of information are for how best to treat a hypo - it would be interesting to know, as it is clearly wrong or at least not up to date (regarding chocolate bars). If it's just hearsay, then why should she not recognise you as being more informed! Be authoratitive and inform her that you know best. Hopefully, she will understand and it won't put you off going to see her in future.
 
Thanks for all your great replies - I think I'll definitely sit them down next weekend and talk to them about diabetes and in particular, hypos and how I should treat them.

Aymes - I don't think I've given them reason to think I've got an eating disorder. I eat the same meals that they do, but maybe with a little less carbohydrate, and I'll indulge in the odd ice cream with them every now and then. I think they might just've got the wrong end of the stick with talking about glucose tablets as a meal replacement - they saw me when I used to stuff my face with biscuits etc. to treat hypos you see so I suppose now that I use glucose tablets in their place it might look like I'm not eating much. I don't know, I guess I'll know more after I have that chat with them next Saturday..

Not sure about the Diabetes Etiquette card - it looks like it has some great advice on it, but I'm not sure how I'd approach my friends with it. Unless I just happen to leave it on my friend's table "accidentally" that is! ;-)
 
I think it's a good idea to sit down and have a chat about it with them, when you are not hypo or recovering from one. I wonder if your recent experience in needing paramedicas and A&E has worried them and they don't want it to happen again. They might think that glucose tablets are not enough and you will have problems with your blood sugar still dropping. Hope you can sort something out and if they are friends I'm sure they will want to understand
 
Hi Sofaraway, yes I think it is probably my recent experience in having to go to hospital due to a bad hypo that has made my friends worried about me having hypos. I think I'll have a good talk to them about it all as I haven't really done this yet and hopefully that'll put their minds at rest and will make them more relaxed around me again. Fingers crossed it'll restore their faith in me and will mean that they can treat me just like they used to.
 
i too can't write what i would say!

They might be trying to be kind but how annoying.

Hope you sort them out.. i hear a stun gun works well!

Julie x
 
Proudspirit said:
i too can't write what i would say!

They might be trying to be kind but how annoying.

Hope you sort them out.. i hear a stun gun works well!

Julie x
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Pmsl @ stun gun !!! thanks for cheering me up Proudspirit :D that was laugh out loud !!! pssstt where might I get one? 😉
 
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Aaargh, food fascists!!!

Just an aside...as I hate the chalky taste of glucose tablets (shudder!!) I use small 200ml orange juice cartons...a little bit bulkier, but it's a really quick hit & I can feel "righteous" about the added vit C! :D

As for chocolate bars being "real food"... 😱 Whatever...!

(desirable, dear me yes, but nutritionally much better than gluco tabs??)

Anyway, on the plus side, at least your friends care enough to meddle I suppose?! I think you definitely need to sit them down & explain things though...good luck!
 
SamInnocent said:
After managing to eat 2 of them, one of my friends came rushing into the kitchen and grabbed the remaining tablets out of my hand telling me that I should be eating "real food" not glucose tablets.
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Well I have to say, you reacted far better than I would have! If anyone actually took glucose tablets *out of my hand* while I was hypo... yes, I think I can safely say my response would not be printable! 😱

But yes, I agree with the others, I think they're just a bit too well-meaning! Also, is it possible they didn't actually realise you were hypo and thought you were just eating glucose tablets? Sitting down with them and explaining exactly what you need when you're hypo and why will probably do the trick. 🙂
 
Exactly! I'm trying to lose weight so their suggestion of eating so called "real food" meaning chocolate bars isn't going to help is it?!
I might try the 200ml orange juice cartons when I'm at home and at my friend's houses though. I guess the only problem with that is, how much do you drink if you're, say 3.5, as opposed to 2.5?? And how do you store it once it's open? I don't really want to drink the whole lot if I don't need that much to take me out of a hypo!

Any tips would be welcome, especially how many mmol/l one of those 200ml cartons will take you up to - 4 glucose tabs will take me up 2 mmol/l, but how much juice will do that?
 
SamInnocent said:
Any tips would be welcome, especially how many mmol/l one of those 200ml cartons will take you up to - 4 glucose tabs will take me up 2 mmol/l, but how much juice will do that?
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Well 200ml of juice is usually around 20g of carboydrate. Obviously it depends on the glucose tablets you have but I think they're usually around 4g carbs, if that's the case with the ones you use then you're looking at 16g carbs taking you up 2mmol with them, so the 20 g in the juice would likely take you up arouns 2.5 or so. Of coruse the speed it does this may be more or less.. different in everyone and all that!
 
Three jelly babies for me - 5g carbs each. Although I don't tend to carry JBs around with me - I do have some glucose tablets as they seem more robust and survive longer in my pocket. Trouble is, when I do have a hypo when out and eat them, I'm instantly reminded that I really don't like them!😱
 
aymes said:
Well 200ml of juice is usually around 20g of carboydrate. Obviously it depends on the glucose tablets you have but I think they're usually around 4g carbs, if that's the case with the ones you use then you're looking at 16g carbs taking you up 2mmol with them, so the 20 g in the juice would likely take you up arouns 2.5 or so. Of coruse the speed it does this may be more or less.. different in everyone and all that!
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Hmmmmm... Thanks for that Aymes. I might give it a go..

To be honest though, I don't think I should give in to my friends' "eat real food" demands. I know where I am with glucose tabs and the effect they have on my blood sugar so why should they influence me to change the way I treat my hypos? Nah, I'll stick to my guns and will just have a word with them on Saturday telling them why I need to have them sometimes and why they MUST NOT take them off me - if they do, they'd probably be sending me to hospital again, after all - if that's not enough to convince them, I don't know what is!
 
Hi guys, probably a bit off thread theme (!) but thanks for the link to the diabetes behaviour card- brilliant!

There is a rather unfortunate ignorant plonker at work who asks me my BSL every time I check it in the coffee room (I have nowhere private to go), I shall be printing it out and putting it on the coffee room notice board and circling the appropriate number! Ive told him to back off, I think he thinks he is funny?? Time for action!

Sam- good luck with the friends, like others I know how I would have reacted so well done for keeping your cool! I am sure once you have educated your mates things will be fine. Things are raw still since your hospital hypo it sounds. Do you hypo a lot? I only ask because I see your signature and that is one hell of an hba1c at 4.9%....
 
Hi Sugarbum, yes I do go hypo quite a bit at the moment. This is something which I'm in the process of changing, however, as I'm aiming for a slightly higher (ie. in the "5s") HBA1c at my next appointment. As you know though, it's not easy working out the right dosage and I've got a lot of stress at work at the moment which isn't helping..

I did manage to keep my cool with my friends, but it's been eating me up inside ever since! Unfortunately I've got to wait until next weekend to speak to them (I'd rather do it in person you see). It's really helped speaking to everyone on here though, so thanks 🙂
 
Sugarbum said:
There is a rather unfortunate ignorant plonker at work who asks me my BSL every time I check it in the coffee room (I have nowhere private to go), I shall be printing it out and putting it on the coffee room notice board and circling the appropriate number! Ive told him to back off, I think he thinks he is funny?? Time for action!
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You could offer to make him bleed so he can check his own BSL... mwah ha ha!! :D Actually, probably better disregard that suggestion!
 
I have taken to carrying copies of the diabetes etiquet card with me and hand them to well meaning friends when they tell me what I can and can't eat. If that doesn't work, I get rather nasty and tell them to go away in no uncertain terms.
 
Just to update you all: I spoke to my friends on Saturday, telling them the basics of Type 1 and how my insulin regime works. I made it as simple as possible but made sure that they knew how complicated it can be getting the right dose etc. I then explained how sometimes I mismatch my insulin to my food and if I have too much insulin in my system for the amount of carbohydrates I've eaten, I'll have a hypo (I also told them about how exercise, stress, the weather etc. affects me!). This then led onto me explaining why glucose tablets are better than chocolate for treating such a hypo.

The result of this talk? They thanked me for explaining things - they kept saying that they were happier now that they knew why sometimes I had to use glucose tablets and that I should've explained it earlier. I have to admit, I did get rather tearful during the conversation because I told my friends about some of my fears to do with my diabetes (ie. complications) and how I was doing my best to avoid them. Thing is, I'd never told anyone about these fears, ever, so it was a very emotional conversation in the end.

I'm glad I did this, and thankyou all for your wonderful suggestions - they were very useful. Thanks 🙂
 
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