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Wife, mother, teacher, diabetic

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E

ET2014

New Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 1
Hi,
I'm Emma and I've been type 1 since 1996. I was diagnosed aged 10 and was very highly controlled in the early years (too much at times). As I grew older, mostly whilst at uni, I rebelled and resented being a diabetic. I eventually managed to sort myself out and had a few ''stable' years. I then got married and set the ball rolling with preparing for a family by moving to pump therapy. Just over 2 years ago I had a beautiful baby girl which is something I didn't think I'd ever be able to say. Since her birth I have found my diabetes very hard to control. I was quite poorly afterwards (as was she) and it took many months for me to recover. She has also has quite a few health problems which have resulted in us spending time in various hospitals. On top of this I have had some health scares recently which has been the icing on the cake! All in all the last 2 years have had a huge impact on my diabetes and I find that I am battling constantly and feeling guilty when my sugars run high even though I know that stress/anxiety play havoc with my sugar levels. Things came to a head today when I visited my diabetes team and refused to let them download my data. My consultant was amazing and suggested that I try and manage my stress and anxiety levels with the hope that my diabetes will then fall into place or at least fall into some form of place where I can tweak things without it being a guessing game. She also asked if I knew any other diabetics as she said chatting may make me feel less guilty when things go wrong and just to speak to people who experience the same things I do. In her words 'Only people who have diabetes will every truly understand how you feel.' So I guess what I'm asking is does anyone else resent their diabetes and find that it either controls their life or that they feel they need to switch off from it at times?
 
Hey Emma, welcome to the forum. I think that any type 1 who says they never felt any resentment is probably fibbing! I certainly think when you have other stuff in your life to deal with, the diabetes can take a back seat. There is no shame in that and a first step is to be kind to yourself and not beat yourself up when you have high blood sugars. No one is perfect and you have made a great step already, by acting on your consultant's advice and finding others to talk to on hear.
We are a friendly bunch and can get where you are coming from
 
Hello Emma and welcome,glad you've joined us 🙂

It's definitely a roller coaster managing diabetes and juggling all the challenges life throws our way and it is only natural to just want a day off from the relentless monotony of having to do diabetes!

Joining this forum is the best thing I've done, I never used to say anything about my diabetes to anyone and got really wound up with it all but being able to talk to others who 'get' diabetes and know how beyond frustrating it can be at times was such a relief for me. I used to think I was the only one getting random results and others were somehow getting magical in range control all the while!

There's a wealth of experience on here and it's a very friendly, supportive place to be. I hope you find it as useful as I have.🙂
 
Welcome Emma. You’ve come to the right place. Rant and rave as much as you want. You’re amongst friends. Basically you’re suffering from diabetes burn out. It happens and in your case your little baby girl took priority as she should of course, but now you need to shift some of that priority to yourself. If you’re not well who will look after the little one? I suggest baby steps, the first was to come on here, the second is to ( if you feel up to it) let us know your concerns and see if we can help. I can guarantee that someone willl be or have gone through the same. Does your nearest and dearest/ colleagues know how much you are struggling or are you hiding it from them? We all do that too as we don’t want to worry them. Fire away with your thoughts, worries, questions and we will get you through it so you can enjoy your beautiful little girl. Elaine. 🙂
 
Welcome Emma

As others have said it is so common for people to get very fed up/ depressed about their Diabetes. However you have come to the right place for support and encouragement. I know that I have learnt more on here from anywhere else.

People on here supported me through my Diabetes Burn Out. I had counselling and learnt to set more realistic targets, and also which aspects of our management are in our control and which ones just happen, usually when it is most inconvenient. They also shared ideas for how to improve my management, which enabled me to feel better, but also a lot more realistic about what is possible.

This forum gives you access to loads of us who just ‘get it’. So as Elaine has said, ask away.
 
Hi Emma,

As a teacher I guess you are all about control (I know I am) and therefore having periods when diabetes seems almost uncontrollable: BG levels that make no sense; other health issues; concerns about loved ones, are all perfectly natural, but bloomin' annoying! We had our daughter 21 months ago and I was diagnosed 8 months later. The past 12 months have been traumatic, painful, tearful and at times I hope that I wake up from this dream to find I don't actually have diabetes. My wife and daughter are what have kept me going when things are low. Work colleagues have been great in general, but sadly there have been issues - especially from SLT or ignorant colleagues, but I have found my union have been incredibly helpful. This forum has been excellent and there is always someone here to offer support and advice. Even so, I have bitten the bullet in the last few days and sought help from a counsellor. I have never really believed in stress or that it could ever affect me, but this year has really opened my eyes and I realise now that there are times I have to be realistic and times when I have to remind myself that I am diabetic.

As others have said (and I have experienced) if you are going through it, there is bound to be someone else on here who has and can give you support and advice. Matt
 
Thank you so much for your replies. Sounds silly but just getting them made me feel so much better and that it's ok to say that things aren't ok. Have decided to try and get some counselling so that I can manage my anxiety and get the diabetes back on track.
Thank you again
Emma
 
Hello Emma and welcome to the forum, also many congratulations on the birth of your daughter.

The best way I have found for coping with the treadmill of diabetes is to treat my meter readings as a number and nothing else.

So if higher than your target range then correct and move on. Don't hold an inquest it's just a number. The same if lower than you like treat with eat then move on.
There's a lot more to life than just diabetes, diabetes has to live with you and not you with it.

Sending you a virtual ((((((((((((((((((((hug)))))))))))))))
 
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