Welcome to the forum
@Quokkagirl
Self monitoring of BG levels is commonly recommended on the forum, but as
@Kopiert says, it doesn’t suit everyone, and there is absolutely no reason for you to do it if you find it upsetting or demoralising.
One of the shortcomings you identify - that it only shows a moment in time - can actually turn out to be an advantage. Conversely an HbA1c can give you very helpful information about overall trends, but it’s not so great at answering very specific questions:
Can I eat bread? How about wholemeal? Or seeded? Are wraps better? How about bagels? Or crispbreads?
How do I cope with fruit? Are apples better than oranges? Can I eat bananas OK! Are berries my best option?
The part of your diet that has the biggest impact on your blood glucose levels is the carbohydrate. But there are a lot of details, unexpected exceptions, surprises, and peculiarities. If you are attempting to manage your diabetes with your diet, then those details become really important. A moderate or low carb menu often works well - but which carbs should you keep for flexibility, and which should you avoid? BG monitoring can help you find that.
As others are suggesting, a common tactic on the forum is to use pairs of BG checks, one before and the second 2hrs after the first mouthful, to see the ‘meal rise’ from whatever you’ve eaten. Ideally you’d want this to be 2-3mmol/L or less. If you see a much bigger rise in BG, take a look at the main sources of carbs in the meal and consider portion reduction, swaps or changes. In a sense, to begin with the numbers themselves aren’t all that important. It’s the difference between them that you want to reduce. And if you get your meal rises down to a fairly modest level, you’ll find your overall levels - even your morning BG generally come down in time.
In a relatively short space of time you should build up a picture of the sorts of sources of carb, and the portion sizes, that your metabolism can cope with.
If you are interested in this approach you may find
test-review-adjust by Alan S a helpful framework.
If you need to self fund your BG meter, the most affordable meters members here have found are the
SD Gluco Navii or the
Spirit Tee2 - which both have test strips at around £8 for 50