Views about complications

[AJLang]

it has happened again on this forum that someone has suggested, quite strongly, that you only have complications if you don’t look after yourself. That is insulting to people on and off this forum who have diabetes through no choice/work hard on their Diabetes and still have life changing complications. It feels like a blame game which shouldn’t have a place on this forum. And yes, I am angry and fuming.

 

[grovesy]

Sorry it has upset you , I know you try very hard. I personally feel that some complications occur for either more complex or yet unknown reasons.

 

[Andy HB]

It is certainly true that if some people don't look after themselves, they will have complications.
It is also true that some people will not have complications even if they don't look after themselves (the lucky people).
Others will have complications even when they do everything perfectly.

If anyone says any one of those possibilities are the only possibility, then, well, one can make up one's own opinion of them. 🙂

 

[Ralph-YK]

if you don’t look after yourself.

There can be legitimate reasons why people could find it hard to look after themselves. So even if it's down to that, people should be careful with blame. Certainly not blanket blame.

it has happened again on this forum that someone has suggested, quite strongly, that you only have complications if you don’t look after yourself.

Missed the comment myself.

 

[Drummer]

I fear that it is down to trusting what we are told is how to look after ourselves, whilst there is mismanagement, neglect, misdiagnosis and just plain lack of concern all at play plus as yet uninvestigated issues and variations in this group of problems all called diabetes.
There is not just one die in the cup, multiple dice generate so many possibilities, and then there is the real possibility of a post or two being misread...

 

[Thebearcametoo]

I’m sorry you were hurt aj

 

[trophywench]

Not my comment saying to someone that if you choose to ignore the fact you have D, then you will get complications, is it? Look at all the probs Kaylz has had with her eyes after 5 minutes, not to mention Northerner with his after only a few years. Sorry to name people but you are both prime examples of people who haven't abused their diabetes yet still got problems despite that.

I sincerely hope you instantly clicked 'Report' and complained?

 

[nonethewiser]

Knuckle heads wherever you go AJ, let them wallow in their self importance and just ignore them.

 

[Abi]

Complications usually develop over decades
If they occur over a shorter time frame this would suggest very bad luck maybe hereditary factors. As for the long termers with complications- they did not have the tools to safely control the condition until maybe 15-20 years ago-(modern monitoring and basal bolus therapy which is best with analogs for most people) so can hardly be blamed as trying to keep tight control would required frequent hypos and very regimented lifestyle interfering with normal functioning, employment, social life etc

 

[Flower]

As with everything to do with diabetes there are a myriad of reasons why we get complications, genetics, luck- good or bad, time of diagnosis, age at diagnosis, mental health/diabulimia, access to care/technology, ability to engage or want to engage etc etc. I was diagnosed at a time of no blood testing, no HbA1c, no correction insulin, no retinal screening programme . I did my best through a turbulent time of teenage years without the internet to turn to to compare notes. I've got a shed load of serious life changing complications and I think there but for the grace if others choose to cast blame on fellow travellers as it's anything but simple to avoid complications.

 

[chaoticcar]

I have had to take extra meds for my Diabetes even though I worked very hard to keep my BGs under control .I feel upset sometimes when people eat what they like and don't try to control.their Diabetes and seem to get away with it . I also feel hurt sometimes when people assume that I eat rubbish and don't know how to treat my Dbs for example someone told me how well a certain mutual friend had done to get her Dbs down to pre Diabetes levels .She has lost 2 stone to achieve this .I am under 7 stone ! I don't think that it would be a good idea to do the same.Even people who l post on here and have Diabetes themselves dont always understand what others have to do to control their Diabetes
Carol

 

[grovesy]

Personally for me weight loss is has only been one piece of the puzzle.

 

[Ljc]

I am sorry you were hurt @AJLang . I trust you reported the post.

 

[Ljc]

Imo it’s the luck of the draw whether we develop complications or not .
For some things it’s to do with how long a person has had diabetes not poor control
Some of my complications started before I was dx with diabetes and only came to light because of all tests, obviously some of these have got worse over the years.

When you think of all the poor advise, lack of up to date knowledge and poor support some people receive from their dr /nurse and all the misinformation out there , is it any wonder why some develop complications.

Being T2 on insulin it’s often automatically assumed that I am a bad diabetic , I get this from medics too. (I am sometimes because I am only human not a saint) I’ve even read it on here quite a few times once directed at me that insulin for t2s was not a good idea , I forget what was actually said but it hurt at the time, well for some of us with T2 it is progressive , we may not be able to have or tolerate the meds, for some the meds no longer work some of us may have been misdiagnosed.

What I am trying to say is, stop and think before you press post reply .
Yes I know some people just take the tablets and do nothing else, but people who come to forums such as this one whether they post or not are the ones who are proactive about there diabetes, others come here to learn how to be proactive, so cyber support and info is needed not accusations etc

Sorry for the rant but I am sure you understand

 

[AJLang]

Thank you everyone for your support and for sharing your knowledge. Yes I did report the post. It really wasn’t what I needed this week after seeing my latest letter from Moorfields despite having had my diabetic consultant for years saying that she thinks that my control is too tight.

 

[everydayupsanddowns]

What I am trying to say is, stop and think before you press post reply .
Yes I know some people just take the tablets and do nothing else, but people who come to forums such as this one whether they post or not are the ones who are proactive about there diabetes, others come here to learn how to be proactive, so cyber support and info is needed not accusations etc

Absolutely @Ljc

I'm reminded of Northie's 'It takes all sorts' post from 2015 https://forum.diabetes.org.uk/boards/threads/it-takes-all-sorts.55745/ 🙂

Hope you are feeling better now @AJLang - sometimes we are just in a vulnerable place and posts which we would normally shrug off, or interpret differently, can touch a nerve.

 

[Lizzzie]

Do your best, and when you know better, do better.

Please take responsiblity for your own anger and reply directly to posts; sometimes it takes more than once becasue some of our brains don't work perfectly (due to one off hypos that were our own fault)

I daren't look back in case it was me and won't be here for a while.

 

[everydayupsanddowns]

Please ... reply directly to posts

Interestingly that sometimes causes a minor upset or misunderstanding to escalate rather than resolve. Generally the advice on the forum is to 'report not respond' - especially at the moment when you might be feeling hurt or angry.

It can be helpful to ask for clarification if you think you've misunderstood another member, and sometimes to gently express that you haven't found a particular post helpful (sometimes other members do that for you). But responding directly can cause more upset.

Reporting allows the moderators to be made aware of the situation, to review the posts, and to take any necessary action 🙂