very sad

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bev

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Hi all,
Feeling a bit sad now. Found out that there was a big 'sleepover' at one of Alex's friends houses at the weekend. Alex wasnt invited because the mother 'doesnt do diabetics' and so all the boys kept it quiet.

I know this will happen - but Alex started crying and saying he was a 'freak' and that this will always happen to him during his life so whats the point of having friends!

I ache for him. This is a boy who found ?5 in the street and instead of keeping it he gave it to a homeless person and said that he needed it more than him and that if he made him feel happy for just 10 seconds - then it was worth it as he knew what feeling sad was like! He said that being diagnosed had made him feel so sad that he thought the world would end - but he realised that the world didnt end - it was just different.

I must admit - i hate these people - how dare they treat my Alex like he is a lesser person because he is diabetic?

Alex is the most giving and loving boy i know - and he wouldnt hurt a fly. Why do adults think its ok to behave like this?

The mother could have rung me and explained her worries - i would have let Alex go and stay for a couple of hours and then collect - so she didnt have to deal with anything that made her feel uncomfortable.🙄:(Bev
 
oh bev, i'm so sorry *massive hugs*

that is really disgusting behaviour from that woman, and its no wonder alex is upset about it.

You tell alex from me that he is not a freak, but he's a fantastically brave young man, and that even though there will be times that people will be horrible, he doesn't need people like that at all.

I know how he feels though. I had a very similar experience when i was at school where i couldn't go to a sleepover because of some parents complete narrow mindedness. It's not nice, and someone as fab as alex doesn't need treatment like that!

are you going to have words with the woman in question?
 
Hi Bev and Alex,

So sorry to hear that Alex has been treated so badly. I find it hard to believe that in this day and age that some people can be so ignorant and horrible towards another person, and even worse when the person is a parent themselves.

How would this mother have felt if it were her child being left out for whatever reason!

Sending hugs for you both,

NiVZ
 
Oh if i could swear I would what a very ignorant and spiteful woman I hope you pull her up about it Bev , i feel for alex he is far from being a freak he is a young lad who you and your family are all proud of and so are we for the way he deals with his diabetes she should be shown up for the piece of work she is *hugs* and more to Alex and you xxxx
 
Oh Bev, my heart is breaking for your son. My son has never been able to do sleepovers, for various reasons, but at least he's had the choice, and usually I've just collected him late, as you say you would've done.

What a HORRIBLE thing for the mother to do, to not even mention it, and just exclude someone within the friendship group. How on EARTH did she think it would be kept quiet at school? WHY couldn't she just have a word with you?

I really feel for Alex, and I hope he realises that he is a WAY better person than this adult. He deserves to be upset, and I don't blame him one bit for feeling aggrieved, but please let him know that he is NOT a freak, he just has different things in his life than the others do and how fantastic he is for meeting these trials head on.

People are so cruel.

xx
 
unfortunately there are many ignorant people in this world...but alex has already grasped the concept that if something makes him happy its worth it...thus if something makes him unhappy its not worth it ...you've got a special one there bev...big hug...
 
So angry, what an ignorant, stupid attitude. Big hugs to both of you. Have you spoken to the parent and explained how much she has upset Alex, and how she could have handled the situation better.
 
That seriously sucks:( Hopefully something good will come out of it? Maybe you can talk to the plonkers and they will realise anything is possible so long as you talk about it!

chin up,

Rossi 🙂
 
I think the mother concerned was scared and didn't know how to deal with the situation. Bev, Alex is turning into exactly the kind of person I want to have running this country in 20 years time - he is a credit to you and a personal hero of mine, what a guy! Alex, you are a brilliant young man who understands what it important in life, that makes me very confident for the future.🙂
 
Bev,

I'm so sorry to hear this! What a bunch of oxygen thieves. They could have done the sensible thing and asked. When I was A's age the only friend I had sleepovers with had a Doctor for a mum which made things easier on my parents. That and I just didn't enjoy sleep overs really. Some of my teachers have been a little weary of me because of the D. One time I recall I was nearly stopped from going on an army cadet camp because of it. I recall my colonel told me that and had fought with them to allow me to come. It's just staggering the amount of ignorance there is.

I'd suggest having a chat with that woman. There were so many other options that could have been used.

Give A a hug from me and tell him there will be other times for sleep overs, chin up little fella, the ignorance of others gets to us all.

Tom
 
The woman is a plank.

I truly hope her son is never ill.

Alex, there are plenty of people to call friends, but then, just because your chums mother is ignorant doesn't mean her son is.

I think it's disgusting that this woman expects all of her sons friends and parents to cover up for her own inadequacies.
 
bev said:
Hi all,
Feeling a bit sad now. Found out that there was a big 'sleepover' at one of Alex's friends houses at the weekend. Alex wasnt invited because the mother 'doesnt do diabetics' and so all the boys kept it quiet.

I know this will happen - but Alex started crying and saying he was a 'freak' and that this will always happen to him during his life so whats the point of having friends!

I ache for him. This is a boy who found ?5 in the street and instead of keeping it he gave it to a homeless person and said that he needed it more than him and that if he made him feel happy for just 10 seconds - then it was worth it as he knew what feeling sad was like! He said that being diagnosed had made him feel so sad that he thought the world would end - but he realised that the world didnt end - it was just different.

I must admit - i hate these people - how dare they treat my Alex like he is a lesser person because he is diabetic?

Alex is the most giving and loving boy i know - and he wouldnt hurt a fly. Why do adults think its ok to behave like this?

The mother could have rung me and explained her worries - i would have let Alex go and stay for a couple of hours and then collect - so she didnt have to deal with anything that made her feel uncomfortable.🙄:(Bev
Click to expand...
it will be always stupid people around you we have to learn to ignored them like my graham said a few months ago with our "stupid "incident you can do without tese people you need real friends and after this you will know who they are tell alex is better then those "friends"
 
Einstein said:
The woman is a plank.

I truly hope her son is never ill.

Alex, there are plenty of people to call friends, but then, just because your chums mother is ignorant doesn't mean her son is.

I think it's disgusting that this woman expects all of her sons friends and parents to cover up for her own inadequacies.
Click to expand...

that was the other thing i thought was so bad...the parent asked the kids to lie...ummm now is that good parenting?🙄
 
Thank you for all your lovely kind words. I must admit - i feel rather pathetic for posting this as there are children all over the world feeling left out or bullied etc.
I told Alex that this mother couldnt help the way she thinks and that its not her fault because she is ignorant of what diabetes means. I dont actually like this woman anyway - she is very shallow and racist (she also is friends with another mum who is black and openly is racist!).

She is not the sort of person one could have a decent conversation with as she is so not my sort of person.

The son is an only child and is very spoilt (materialistically) - but they dont spend time with him and that breaks my heart. The son is actually a nice little chap and i doubt it is him who didnt want Alex there.

At christmas her son broke his leg and was in a wheelchair. Both him and Alex werent invited to another sleepover for obvious reasons and Alex was really upset that this boy would feel left out and wanted to invite him to ours so he wouldnt feel so bad. Alex is very empathetic and really *feels* peoples pain.

It is very hard for me to remain calm and put on a show in front of Alex as if everything is fine. But i do know this is the right thing to do as i dont want him feeling bitter.

I look at those poor children in Haiti and think that at least Alex doesnt have it this bad and then i feel guilty for feeling upset for something that is so unimportant in the big scheme of things. Bev
 
Damn. I don't know what to say. Poor Alex.
 
'Doesn't do diabetics'....? I'm sure given the choice we'd all like to not 'do diabetes' but unfortunately that's not an option!

Not really anything more to be said that hasn't already, sounds like fear of the unknown with a bit of ignorance thrown on top to not even ask the question or be honest about it.

Are you going to speak to her about it? Maybe you should ask the boy in question over to yours, so at least he can see the reality of things for Alex rather than the view his mother has...?
 
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