To tell or not?

[happydog]

I have been a T2 since September last year. So far I have only met one other person who has T2, (except for when I went on the education course) and no one with T1. I was at a conference in London yesterday and someone that I know but don't often see came up to me and asked why I had lost so much weight. I said it is probably because I have T2 and have to be conscious of the carbs and sugar that I consume. She was very surprised and said "Do you admit this to people? Does your employer know?" She then went on to say that she is T2 but normally keeps quiet about it and her employer does not know. She asked me not to tell anyone that we know. She said it would be as well not to go around admitting to having diabetes. My employer knows and is fine about it and supportive about letting me have time to go for tests etc. I am now wondering if this is this why I have not met anyone else who has admitted to having diabetes? The media assure us that there are plenty of people with it. I just assumed that it was OK to tell people if they asked or the need arose. I don't see it as anything to be ashamed or secretive about. What do others do?

 

[Steff]

I dnt see the need to hide it, you are right though accept from this forum I know no one else with type 2.
I personally would not hide it from work, secrets always have a way of creeping to the surface... I would scream it from the rooftops if I didn't have fear of heights.

Sounds to me like your mate is in denial but its her diabetes so guess its upto her who she informs

 

[Northerner]

You are right, there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed about. I've met loads of people with all different types of diabetes and they are all lovely people - do come to a forum meet if you get the opportunity 🙂

There is a lot of negative commentary in the media about diabetes, most if it over-simplistic and often downright wrong. As a result, I think many people are made to feel unnecessarily guilty about it.

 

[HOBIE]

Well done for being possitive ! & loosing weight. I would do the same as you Happydog 🙂

 

[Copepod]

It's for each person to do what is best for them in each of their jobs.

Speaking as someone who has never had fewer than at least 4 part time jobs in any one tax year, with a full time job as well, usually a short contract of up to 12 months, I only tell employers who need to know eg for tractor and Land Rover driving insurance, employer needs to see a photocopy of driving licence every 12 months. Generally, I don't tell colleagues, as they'd make a fuss and when working in a metabolic research unit, which included type 2 diabetes, from hearing comments about research subjects, they had enough difficulty coping with that type, let alone understanding a different type as well. I took the positive decision that I can cope far better if they don't know.

 

[Redkite]

We have always been open about my son's T1 and encouraged him to be open about it too. He has always tested, injected, bolused through his pump, etc. in full public view. If people prefer to be secretive that's their prerogative, but imo there's no need to hide away!

 

[DeusXM]

It's a tough one because while I'm not ashamed of having diabetes, I also neither have the inclination to have to educate the rest of the world about my condition, nor do I want people around me to see me as a condition first and a person second.

I tend not to specifically mention I have diabetes and manage it as invisibly as I can. Generally, if I don't do this, I end up having the same conversation over and over and over again with my fianc?e being literally the only person on the planet who doesn't feel the need to say something. When I inject in front of my family or close friends, invariably there's a question about how I'm doing, which is touching but frustrating. For everyone else it's usually then a discussion about how it doesn't hurt, and it's not about too much or too little sugar, how I'm not really interested in hearing about their gran etc. It doesn't bother me if people know I have diabetes, it's just life is short enough without me having to spend vast chunks of it pointlessly giving people information they don't need.

I also really don't want to be one of those people who makes a massive deal out of the fact they have diabetes. For me, diabetes is a bit like needing to go to the toilet. It's something I have to do but not necessarily something that needs to be paraded around in everyone's face. I'm sure we've all been out to a restaurant where there's been someone who's been very vocal that they can't eat anything that casts a shadow, or they're allergic to anything that begins with the letter 'L', or they are 'a diabetic' whipping out their meter with great gusto, dramatically doing their injection and then loudly declaring how they can't eat this or that. Who wants to be that person?

I'd rather just get on with my day and ensure see me as a person. You wouldn't define someone who needs the toilet as 'a pooer' first and then a person; it's the same for me with diabetes.

 

[Cat1964]

I was sick at the beginning of the year and got a secondary infection, the doctor said the secondary infection was more likely to be as a result of m having diabetes. This led to me being off work longer than I had hoped. I explained to my boss that I had recently been diagnosed as diabetic and that the secondary infection was as a result of it. My boss was very understanding about it. He also later asked me was there anything he should know about me being diabetic in case anything happened to me at work. I explained to him what being Type 2 means for me. My work has been great 🙂

 

[Redkite]

It's a tough one because while I'm not ashamed of having diabetes, I also neither have the inclination to have to educate the rest of the world about my condition, nor do I want people around me to see me as a condition first and a person second.

You do have a point there - it's irritating to be called upon for a complete show-and-tell, but on the other hand family and close friends should be so used to seeing you do the d tasks that it shouldn't seem anything out of the ordinary to them. As for the general public, the more frequently people with T1 are seen just matter of factly getting on with what they need to do, the more likely it will just blend into the background. So testing, injecting or bolusing through a pump at a restaurant table should be no more remarkable than getting out your wallet to pay the bill.

 

[MargB]

I tell people if it would be appropriate to do so. I also lost a lot of weight after diagnosis and when people asked how I had done it, my reply included both Slimming World and the fact I had been diagnosed as diabetic. Through talking about it I have met plenty of other people who are diabetic.

There again, I was 58 when diagnosed and not even thinking of building a career or worrying about my future with a company. People can either like it or lump it.

 

[DeusXM]

on the other hand family and close friends should be so used to seeing you do the d tasks that it shouldn't seem anything out of the ordinary to them.

It's not necessarily about having to explain things to them, it's just human nature. When someone does something that you don't necessarily do, you say something. It's just a basic reaction so you can't fault people for it. Asthma inhalers are something perfectly normal and commonplace but I bet most people's reaction to a friend using an inhaler in front of them is to check they're alright. Same with injections and blood tests.

the more frequently people with T1 are seen just matter of factly getting on with what they need to do, the more likely it will just blend into the background.

Yeah but we'll always be a minority. There's what, less than half a million of us? And yet there are only 29,000 kids with T1 yet it's still seen as a disease than never affects adults. Even if we all started doing everything in public we'd still be such a minority that we'll never blend into the background. Besides, the nuts and bolts of treating T1 are so extreme to the layperson. Squeezing blood out your fingers? Sticking needles into your stomach? Having a needle and a bit of plastic tube attached to you at all times? No-one's ever going to see that as something that blends into the background.

 

[HOBIE]

A few good points made ! Well said Deus xm. When i was a kid i didnt tell people & got on with it. Things are changing now 😉

 

[Pigeon]

When I started my current job I told my boss but didn't make any big announcements about it to others... I didn't want people to know me as diabetic first and foremost. Various people found out in passing (asked me why I had a desk drawer full of food, etc!) which was fine.

There area few diabetic (T1) people at my work who are slightly "I can't do that because I'm diabetic" about things. When they found out I had T1 they were heard to exclaim "Really, but she's so normal?!" which pleased me!

Deus, your comment about someone needing the toilet being known as a pooer really made me laugh!

 

[AlisonM]

My friends know and they knew at work too. That was only because quite a few others there were also Diabetics of one sort or another and we used to compare notes. Out of two paid staff, the 6 board members and fifteen volunteer counsellors, 8 were diabetic and one of them was LADA like me. It was weird.

 

[Mark T]

It's quite funny where I am because it seems to be a hotspot.

Out of the the people I work with I have 6 colleagues who have one or more diabetic relations (or varying ages and types).

OK, that is still the minority. But it's certainly not what I'd personally categorise as "rare".

Personally I'm fairly open about it (although I don't wave flags or anything like that 😛).

 

[Copepod]

Like Pigeon, I sometimes enjoy revealing to colleagues, by telling them at time of my choosing, not because they saw me testing injecting, because I'm too discrete, that I have type 1 diabetes - but only after they have got to know me as someone who competes in and marshals on adventure races, mountain trail runs, fell races, triathlons, orienteering etc. Have had the "but you're so normal" comment a few times 🙂 There need to be fewer people who don't do things because of diabetes, and more of those who do things they want with diabetes.

I think they interpretted my habit of always having food in my rucksack as sensible and thrifty, as it was cheaper than canteen and wise when commuting anything from 2 miles (bike only) to 30 miles (bike & bus) to 60 miles (driving) depending on venue.

Also, really like DeusXM's pooer comment!