Think I'll get a negative vib from Diabetic Team

[hawalkden]

I have another Diabetic Consultant Appointment next week and my OH is coming with me this time as we want to emphasise our decision for trying for a baby and to be put onto the Pre-Pregnancy Clinic. We planned to try at the beginning of February but would love to start ASAP but cant really due to my Diabetes.

Also after the year we?ve had I don?t want to have a horrid time in hospital while expecting. I was put into a Medical Coma in February due to DKA and I was ventilated for a week and then in for a month due to a blood clot. I was very poorly to be honest and we put planning a baby on hold until my blood clot went. That has gone and we?re waiting for results about being on Warfarin forever. My medical health doesn?t seem to be getting better. My only worry for next week is my Diabetic Consultant who is the Diabetic Midwife to which is a bonus.

I know I have to have my HBA1C under 7%! Which I know it won?t be when I get my results back tomorrow and I?m trying so much to get it down. I just don?t want them to make me wait till the bloods are ?right? as I see Diabetes is never going to be ?perfect? for anyone, they are all different and even more so for females who want to become pregnant I don?t think anytime is the right time.

I have a little bit of selfishness inside of me to just try even if they say don?t try till when ever or you?ve got to go onto the Pre-Pregnancy Clinic. I know it could be the wrong choice and there probably be more complications during the pregnancy I just cant wait any longer and I just want to try now like every ?normal? female can, who don?t have complications!

 

[Twitchy]

Hiya...

It's a bugger being a diabetic, isn't it?! I can relate to how frustrated you feel... it took us 2 years both times to get the BGs straight & HbA1c in the zone before trying to conceive. I would however really, really encourage you to stick with trying to get things straight first! Pregnancy makes control even harder than normal 🙄 so the better your control is before, the better chance you have of keeping on top of things...

I know it feels like you are waiting forever, but it is soooo worth it - think of it like a house's foundations, except this is your son or daughter's health - sorry to be blunt, but that's the truth of it. Although people do fall pregnant with higher than ideal HbA1cs, there are real and significant risks of congenital defects, miscarriage, etc - and a diabetic pregnancy is stressful enough as it is, trust me! 🙂 I honestly don't mean to lecture, but for your own sake, take the time you need to get ready - it will be worth it. 🙂

All the best,

Twitchy x

 

[bev]

Hiya...

It's a bugger being a diabetic, isn't it?! I can relate to how frustrated you feel... it took us 2 years both times to get the BGs straight & HbA1c in the zone before trying to conceive. I would however really, really encourage you to stick with trying to get things straight first! Pregnancy makes control even harder than normal 🙄 so the better your control is before, the better chance you have of keeping on top of things...

I know it feels like you are waiting forever, but it is soooo worth it - think of it like a house's foundations, except this is your son or daughter's health - sorry to be blunt, but that's the truth of it. Although people do fall pregnant with higher than ideal HbA1cs, there are real and significant risks of congenital defects, miscarriage, etc - and a diabetic pregnancy is stressful enough as it is, trust me! I honestly don't mean to lecture, but for your own sake, take the time you need to get ready - it will be worth it.

All the best,

Twitchy x

Twitchy, you are very wise.🙂 I think everything you have said is spot-on and although I have no experience of a high risk pregnancy - I would imagine that the worry factor alone is enough to put you off - so getting one's body in tip-top condition is paramount for the health and well-bing of the growing baby and of course the mum.🙂I know it must be awful to feel that you are waiting and waiting - but if you have a healthy happy baby at the end of it then thats all that matters.🙂Bev

 

[bex123]

hiya , i can only give u the advice plz do all in your power to get good control! i had a very simmilar expereance as you and had my first child at 19 , been type 1 since i was 7 , any way long story short , we tried for a baby with a hba1 of 12 , i was uneducated and didnt know any better and had a poor diabeties team that offered me no advice (thankfully now i have an amazing team ) , i suffered 4 misscarages before i fell pregnant with my first son , i had an increadably hard pregnancy and kept on going into early labour ( started at 28 weeks) i had him premature at 35 weeks at 8lb 1oz and he was hypo on delivery , he had feeding problems and couldnt latch on or use a bottle , he spent 4 days in the nucu unit in an incubator , and suffered 2 weeks of jaundice (caused by his tiny liver kicking in and recovering the hypo) thankfully he is now a happy and healthy 9 yr old ,and i thank god he is here at all , my second pregnancy was much better , better control but still a higher than recomended hba1 he was also premature at 36 weeks and 7lb 1oz and is blind in is right eye (due to his optic nerve not developing in time)

this is my little horror story and i hope any one thinking of trying for a baby will read and realise the inportance of good control , i was very lucky and so were my children , please be aware of what your health is doing before you start tring to create another life

 

[PhoebeC]

You must really try your best to sort out your health as well as you can.

Im 17 weeks, and its been bloody hard. My hba1c has always been close to 7 for years. I have never had any bad issues with my diabetes. Our baby wasnt planned. But because i have been so lucky with my diabetes they werent worried about me. My hba1c is now 6, which is how it should be when pregnant.

'Normal' women who are very healthy can have a horrid time to.

You really dont want to cuase any issues with your own or your childs health. Pregnancy for diabetics is risky for mums too not just baby. And if your not well afterwards how can you look after a child.

I dont want to be mean but this is a little life that you have to protect and look after from before you concive, i wish we had planned. The guilt that i didnt get my body 100% ready is horrid, and im a lucky one.


xxx

 

[Akasha]

Im the same as you, Hawalkden. My partner and i have discused children, and said I want one now, not 3 years time, NOW!
Be as selfish as you want, but bear in mind you have to factor in things aswell as the diabetes. like Finance and property.
Although im not pregnant, Im working with my team now to get my sugars level so when we do start trying, It wont be so long.
Im sure that if you try to sort your levels out and they can see, they wont penalize you for it.

Good luck 🙂

 

[Twitchy]

I've been thinking about this thread off & on for a few days now... I'd just like to detail my experience, in case that helps...

I took on board my consultant's advice, and made sure my HbA1c was at the target level and I was on the high dose of folic acid before trying to conceive. It took around 2 years both times to get the levels 'in the zone' and I'll admit, was an extremely frustrating wait.

First time round, after I conceived, BGs weren't too awful at first, and I immediately notified my diabetic team & GP. I did have some cramps at around 6wks, but no bleeding. At about 11 wks we were at diabetic antenatal clinic when we met our obstetrics consultant for the first time - his comment was something like "well lets do a scan & see if there's anything alive in there shall we?" ... bearing in mind that was WITH good control & planning - hubby's & my jaws dropped to the floor. However he scanned, and we saw our baby, a little peanut in there 🙂. Things continued, I had morning sickness on & off, dawn phenomenon and so feeling ill most of the time & up at 3am every day was exhausting - not the healthy, blooming pregnancy I'd envied in my friends! From relatively early on it was clear that my bump was big - I had excess fluid, quite common for diabetics. From almost day 1 I was also being told to expect a C section - when I challenged this (fresh from my nct brainwashing lol!) I was told the idea was to have a controlled, safe birth, preferably with a live baby & mum as an end result! 😱 Erm... fair point doc...

From early on in the 3rd Tri, I noticed the weight was piling on - but it was fluid... face, hands, feet... I ended up being admitted with severe pre-eclampsia at 33 wks and told baby might have to be born at any time from then... and that his lungs would be about 2 weeks behind the maturity of a 'normal' baby... ie the risks to both of us were high. Doc even asked hubby which of us to save if it came to it... yikes!!! In the event, they managed to stabilise me enough to get another week or so further along, & baby was born at 34w 5d, by 'semi-elective' emergency c secion. I didn't get to see him for long after the birth, he was whisked up to the scbu, where he was in an incubator, on a nose tube & being checked because he had a shadow on his lungs. He had severe jaundice & needed phototherapy for a week & half, during which time he had to stay in the incubator, under the lamps - I couldn't pick him up to cuddle him when he cried, or comfort him by holding him. This was a planned pregnancy with good control remember...

Second time around was better, again carefully planned etc... this time we got to 35 weeks before the placenta failed and baby had to make an early appearance. This time we got lucky and although her sugar levels did drop, and she did have a bit of difficulty breathing, most of the time she could be with me, she was better able to feed 'normally' and has generally been a much more robust baby.

I'm not trying to scare any diabetics out there who want babys... and to put this in context I'd already had diabetes 28 yrs by baby number 1... but what I'm trying to say is that unfortunately for us diabetics, it just isn't as simple as other mums... I now have quite a few diabetic mum friends and their experiences have all been similar in that the pregnancies have been more medical, often more complicated than 'normal' and the births by & large about as far from the perceived nct ideal as you can get! 🙄 The thing is, with careful planning & a lot of hard work you CAN have a healthy baby... but as some of the ladies on this forum have been kind & brave enough to share, if the levels aren't right, the consequences can be devastating. It's NOT fair, and it's horrible having to plan something so carefully that should be so natural, but on the plus side, when I was diagnosed in '78 my dad thought I'd never be able to have my own babies... at least that isn't the case. 🙂

I do hope you don't feel we've been telling you off or anything, I don't think that's the case - I'm sure we can all relate to your frustrations having to wait (I know I can!) and we just don't want you to rush into something & really regret it later... I am really sure with the support of your diabetic team you will get your levels right a lot sooner than you think possible, and sooner than you think will be on the way!

Wishing you the very best of luck with this, and sending you a big hug ((()))!

Twitchy xx

 

[Akasha]

Thank you for sharing that twitchy, A real eye opener. 😱

When i was diagnosed 6 years ago, i convinced myself that i didnt want children anyway. that i had to concentrate on looking after me.
After 2 1/2 years with my partner we decided that we can and will (partner also diabetic).
I was told by my team that with my Hba1c of 7.6 it wouldnt be overly concerning if i started trying now.
When it comes to the idea of children, i do get conflicting thoughts. A child of my own flesh and blood, but also how selfish to want a child, and all the hell that goes with the 9 months.
I myself wanted to get my levels sorted before trying, for my own peice of mind. 🙂

 

[bev]

http://www.diabetessupport.co.uk/boards/showthread.php?t=192

The thread above is probably an extreme case, but I think it does serve to show just how high risk a pregnancy can be - never mind throwing diabetes into the mix.😱Bev

 

[Copepod]

I'd like to speak personally - about the positive effects of not having children. This is what works for me - no reason why it's right for anyone else. To explain my history -
In my 20s, I said to myself that if I didn't have any children by the time I was 30, I wouldn't; I never found a suitable partner, so didn't have any (mainly thinking about being young enough to continue to enjoy life when they grew up).
Within 6 months of turning 30, I developed type 1 diabetes, and must admit, along with being pretty pissed off at effectively losing use of Marine Biology degree, possibility of remaining in New Zealand (as work permit ended), having to return to UK, unable to rejoin TA (which I left, hoping to emigrate) etc, I also thought no bloke would be interested in me.
within a couple of years of diagnosis, I had led an expedition to Costa Rica, plus travelled alone round Dominican Republic, mountains of Mallorca etc, gained MSc and started a short term work contract (Jan 1999)
Within a couple of months of starting that contract, it was extended to another part of the organisation, where I met a bloke - initially I thought he was just spending time in the room where I worked because it was air conditioned to protect the computers, but he asked me out kayaking, and we're still together in Sept 2010. As he spends several months each year in Antarctica, even conceiving, let alone raising, children would be a challenge. However, we both thoroughly enjoy "borrowing" friends' and relatives' children - and the parents seem to think we look after / entertain the children OK. I also run activity birthday parties for children, something that none of the parents who work at the park want to do.

Of course, none of this is a substitute for having one's own children, but I feel it's worth explaining how we do things in a different way.

 

[bigpurpleduck]

I'm slightly terrified about having children now 😱

Twitchy - if you don't mind me asking, what was your A1c during your pregnancies?

 

[Twitchy]

Don't be terrified! Just be really prepared for a lot of hard work, and nothing like the nct will brain wash you into thinking is 'normal'! 😉

My HbA1c s before conceiving were 6.5% and 6.8% (I think, from memory...I got told different levels were acceptable each time lol!).

During pregnancy it varied around 6% ish, the best in the second preg being 5.7% - at which point the numpty doc told me off because "obviously" I "must be going hypo all the time"!! Stupid doc...!!!! I can't remember what my best during the first preg was, but during both pregnancies the good doc (the experienced consultant!) described my control with positive superlatives... 🙂

I should point out that the longer you've had diabetes, the more chance of problems - I had been diabetic 28yrs first time round and 31 yrs the second time... so that's a factor too... but don't lose heart, the pre eclampsia I had first time round affects 10% of mums (admittedly not all to that extent, that's more like 1%, I'm special lol!). From the mums I know, typical 'complications' with good control are early delivery (generally by c section, but depends on the hospital to a large extent), bigish baby for dates, and excess fluid. All of us found breast feeding hard too, possibly due to the birth method or baby being given formula for hypos...

What I'm trying to say (waffling, sorry!!), is it can be done, don't panic! Just needs a lot more care & work than 'normal' mums & you will probably feel better about the whole thing if you can come to terms with the likelihood that it won't be such an 'earth mother' type of experience as your friends might get 🙂😉

 

[PhoebeC]

What I'm trying to say (waffling, sorry!!), is it can be done, don't panic! Just needs a lot more care & work than 'normal' mums & you will probably feel better about the whole thing if you can come to terms with the likelihood that it won't be such an 'earth mother' type of experience as your friends might get 🙂😉

Which is why you need to try your best before you have a baby in your belly to be as ready as you possibly can be.
Its hard work, people tell me i look like im blooming but i dont feel it.
I have to take it day my day and its really hard work, Its not flying by like people say it does.
If its not hypos or sickness, its backahce or being so tired you dont want to move.

I dont know how after all this i will be able to look after a baby, its like a 9 month work out with a big ending that is stressful for everybody then no rest because you have a tiny person to look after.

I am scared about the issues i will have towards the end because we didnt plan, They say im doing great now and are really happy with me but still its worrying.

xxx

 

[hawalkden]

I?m feeling so frustrated at the moment. I just don?t want to even think about children anymore. I?ve had enough of my Diabetes already and only been diagnosed a year last march.
I went into hospital with DKA and was in CCU for a week ventilated. I?m trying to control my bloods but I?m sick of not having or doing the ?normal? things everyone else can do and yeah people can reply to this saying stop being selfish but I?m sick of it.
I have a consultant appointment next week and I want to tell them I want to be on the Pre-Pregnancy Clinic but they?ll probably refuse and make me wait to get my HBa1C down, also make me have my bloods given before anything, which they know I cant do. My veins just shut down and refuse! So I just get more frustrated.
Sorry I?m just at my wits end and envy every female who has a ?normal? pregnancy! I cant see myself being/feeling so horrid in and out of hospital and all the check ups in the 1st part.
I think that adoption is the best option for me at the moment and think about other children who need our help and not being selfish for wanting to have a child so much.
Hope I don?t seen to bitchy or selfish with my response but I just cant take any more of this!

 

[Twitchy]

Hiya...

Just wanted to say don't lose heart - coming to terms with diabetes is a massive thing to do, and it sounds like you have had so much to deal with in the past year already. I don't think your response is selfish - I think it's perfectly natural to feel frustrated at not being able to have what so many 'normal' people seem to be able to take for granted... diabetes can seem to present so many more challenges that we just don't ask for!

The good thing is, with the right support, if it's what you want to do, you can have your own kids. I really don't enjoy having bloods done and there is a lot of that when you're pregnant, but trust me, once you know that little life is in you, everything else becomes less important. My scary first birth experience didn't put me off going for baby number too, and I will forever be grateful that I had the support of our obstetric consultant in making that decision - speak to your team if this is what you want, get them to help you. 🙂 Is your pre-pregnancy clinic geared up in order to help ladies get ready to try to conceive? If so, it actually sounds ideal for your situation... if not, I'd let your diabetes team know you want to start a family and are asking for their support to 'get ready' as it were. If they are a good team, they will be glad you've asked for help and will be keen to give it hopefully! 🙂

Whatever you decide, take your time and look after yourself. xx

 

[bigpurpleduck]

Sorry I’m just at my wits end and envy every female who has a ‘normal’ pregnancy!

I'm with you there hawalkden! Thinking about pregnancy makes me feel really angry and bitter sometimes. It's the thing that bothers me most about having diabetes.

I'm afraid I can't offer pregnancy advice as I haven't been there. However, I would say that, although it's hard work to bring your A1c down, it's more than doable. Even just one hour a week spent looking at your BG readings, identifying patterns and changing your doses accordingly can make a huge difference. My A1c at its worst was around 10.4 a couple of years ago, and in December last year was down to 7.1. It's more than possible if you can put in some work.

I'd suggest talking to your nurse/doc about how you're feeling, and talk to your partner too. The way you're feeling is completely understandable, and having supportive people behind you will really help.

I hope things improve for you soon, and that you can start trying before too long. Keep us posted, and feel free to ask questions and rant - it's what we're here for!

 

[bigpurpleduck]

Don't be terrified! Just be really prepared for a lot of hard work, and nothing like the nct will brain wash you into thinking is 'normal'! 😉

My HbA1c s before conceiving were 6.5% and 6.8% (I think, from memory...I got told different levels were acceptable each time lol!).

During pregnancy it varied around 6% ish, the best in the second preg being 5.7% - at which point the numpty doc told me off because "obviously" I "must be going hypo all the time"!! Stupid doc...!!!! I can't remember what my best during the first preg was, but during both pregnancies the good doc (the experienced consultant!) described my control with positive superlatives... 🙂

I should point out that the longer you've had diabetes, the more chance of problems - I had been diabetic 28yrs first time round and 31 yrs the second time... so that's a factor too... but don't lose heart, the pre eclampsia I had first time round affects 10% of mums (admittedly not all to that extent, that's more like 1%, I'm special lol!). From the mums I know, typical 'complications' with good control are early delivery (generally by c section, but depends on the hospital to a large extent), bigish baby for dates, and excess fluid. All of us found breast feeding hard too, possibly due to the birth method or baby being given formula for hypos...

What I'm trying to say (waffling, sorry!!), is it can be done, don't panic! Just needs a lot more care & work than 'normal' mums & you will probably feel better about the whole thing if you can come to terms with the likelihood that it won't be such an 'earth mother' type of experience as your friends might get 🙂😉

Thanks so much for your reply, Twitchy. I am terrified - but I guess the only thing which will help this is getting the control right before we start trying.

I am finding it a bit difficult to come to terms with the fact that it won't be the "natural" pregnancy and birth I would have loved. But I do have plenty time to prepare myself for this - babies are at least 3 years way yet!

 

[PhoebeC]

I?m feeling so frustrated at the moment. I just don?t want to even think about children anymore. I?ve had enough of my Diabetes already and only been diagnosed a year last march.
I went into hospital with DKA and was in CCU for a week ventilated. I?m trying to control my bloods but I?m sick of not having or doing the ?normal? things everyone else can do and yeah people can reply to this saying stop being selfish but I?m sick of it.
I have a consultant appointment next week and I want to tell them I want to be on the Pre-Pregnancy Clinic but they?ll probably refuse and make me wait to get my HBa1C down, also make me have my bloods given before anything, which they know I cant do. My veins just shut down and refuse! So I just get more frustrated.
Sorry I?m just at my wits end and envy every female who has a ?normal? pregnancy! I cant see myself being/feeling so horrid in and out of hospital and all the check ups in the 1st part.
I think that adoption is the best option for me at the moment and think about other children who need our help and not being selfish for wanting to have a child so much.
Hope I don?t seen to bitchy or selfish with my response but I just cant take any more of this!

Your not selfish daibetes is poo, but it does get better. I dont mind mine really, id like not to hvee it but i dont hate, maybe because its been 5 years and i cant really remember beore i had it.

I have always thought adoption must be an amazing thing to do, theres plenty of kids who need love and care. Either way it will still be stressful 🙂

 

[emeraldgirl]

Hi

It sounds like its still at the early stages for you re your diabetes, think you said you've only had it for about 18 months. I think it does take a lot of getting used. Quite a few people on here have probably had it for quite a long time. I've been a diabetic for 24 years, so got it when I was 17 and do remember feeling, why me, and that I couldn't do what other people could do. But those feelings will pass, but it might take a while. Now I dont feel that there's anything that I cant do. I know it sounds weird, but a lot of the time I feel healthier by having it, cause I try to eat the right foods and look after myself, I do have blow outs sometimes where I eat stuff I shouldn't but I'm sure we all do that. What I'm trying to say is dont lose heart it will get better, it is a major adjustment in your life. Takes quite a while to get the blood sugars levelled out. I find the same re giving blood, its a nightmare for me, as the veins in my arms are a dead loss and I've given up with them, But do push to speak to your pre-pregnancy clinic, if they're like mine, they will be able to give you some good advice, and help you with your fears and worries.

Take Care

Dee xx

 

[hawalkden]

update...

Hi guys
Thanks for the honest and positive advice and experience. I know everyone would love not to have diabetes but it?s what makes us us really. Me and OH decided (I know it?s a little wrong) to NPNT we started last night and just see how things go. We?ll be stressing the passion for a child on Thursday when we got to see my Diabetic Consultant and telling them about our plans and whats happening. It?s not like I?m at school anymore they cant not let me have a child!
I?m still worrying a little about my control but its in a way a denial and at the same time didn?t care but not thinking because we?re NTNP makes me think I?m already pregnant so want to start doing the right things well what I?m doing at the moment but even better and more often!
I cant really get my head round carb counting and at the moment I?m on set units for meals and the main problem at the moment for me is at work during meals. Due to working in a nursery and in the pre-school part all the children are leaving to go to school so we?re getting presents and lots of chocolates so while we?re in the childrens areas we?re nibbling away at the chocolate. I know I can have them and I just add a few units onto my meal if its 2 hours within a meal time just if people say to me I ?cant? have the things to eat I?d just eat more to make a point.
So that?s my weakness where I would just want to be like the rest of the girls at work and just eat and not like oh no cant my bloods will be out of their ?never normal? rage.
So from now on with knowing we?re NTNP attitude I want to be more positive and be less frustrated with not getting it right
Thank you
x