teenage meltdown

[Witchy Mum]

Just had bust up with Em. Since she was about 8 she used to find a problem just before bedtime, things havn't changed, but now she has a better reason, or should I say excuse!! I don't think I handled it too well though and she ended up storming off to bed, half an hour late, both of us in tears. My 12yr old son is not well,, not sure if it is puberty, growing pains or what, I know he has been 'off 'for a few days, and finally tonight he tells me he has pains in his back and frequent headacehes, he was sobbing (not like him) and explained that he didn't want to worry me as 'poor Emma' is enough to deal with. Guilty or what? I assured him that he and his younger sister were just as important to me, so tomorrow I am taking him to GP, so I think Em is jealous he is having a day off school.

I may be wrong but to be honest, I have a splitting headache and arthritis is playing up so my tolerance level is low, and as she has been a drama queen for most of her life it just seemed to be yet another act!!

So now I am angry, and guilty at the same time. Asked her dad to be good guy and talk to her as she gets so worked up it wont do her blood levels any good.

Sorry for rant, but hate myself for not being a better listener to her, and hate myself for feeling guilty as I know (I think) it's just another attention seeking moment like before diabeties!!😡

 

[margie]

Hi Anna

don't be too hard on yourself or Emma - it's such a short time since diagnosis that you are both struggling and coming to terms with things. Any time anything goes wrong she's probably thinking is it the diabetes. Most of it won't be - but it won't stop her worrying. It'll be hard for you too to work out what is down to the diabetes and what is teenage turbulence.

Your son sounds lovely putting his sisters needs first and not wanting you to worry about him. I hope you get some answers for him tomorrow at the Drs.

ETA - you sound like you are getting frazzled any chance Dad can take more of the load on ?

 

[Witchy Mum]

Hi Anna

don't be too hard on yourself or Emma - it's such a short time since diagnosis that you are both struggling and coming to terms with things. Any time anything goes wrong she's probably thinking is it the diabetes. Most of it won't be - but it won't stop her worrying. It'll be hard for you too to work out what is down to the diabetes and what is teenage turbulence.

Your son sounds lovely putting his sisters needs first and not wanting you to worry about him. I hope you get some answers for him tomorrow at the Drs.

ETA - you sound like you are getting frazzled any chance Dad can take more of the load on ?

OH is wonderful,usually he is rubbish when kids are sick but he helps out with morning injections and carb counting, and when I am frazzled he lets me have my rant and he is the 'nice guy' Couldn't do without him. But I do tend to try to sort out the world solo , I am so independant and strong willed and it bites me in the bum from time to time, He is so laid back he is almost comatose!! It usually works well for us. Thanks for the words of support, it does help

 

[Caroline]

Anna don't be too hard on yourself, you and your family have enough to contend with. It is difficult enough when the children have nothing wrong with them.

I hope everyone feels better soon.

 

[AJLang]

I'm sorry to hear that you're facing these challenes. You are doing a brilliant job, it wasn't until I was much older that I realised how difficult that it was for my mum having a diabetic child. Please let out your frustrations on here, that's what we are here for. I hope that everything is ok with your son

 

[Pumper_Sue]

Sending you a hug Anna.
Time to put your foot down with your daughter me thinks.
Expect her to start taking care of herself a lot more. IE. carb counting and injecting. It wont be long before she will need to pack her bags and spread her wings etc for uni.
Just be quiet but firm and say point blank when she asks to stay with friends or school trips that no she can not go as she can't/wont look after herself 🙂
It works wonders. (I was told the same thing as a dreaded teenager)
I know you were asking about a pump the other day, but unless your daughter has a basic understanding and does the work herself, she wont be given one.
Gently but firmly take a step back and give extra time to your other two so daughter doesn't take advantage of her diabetes.

Please please make sure you have me time as well. IE look after yourself.
(((((((((hugs))))))))))

 

[margie]

Just as background information.

Emma was diagnosed about a month ago - so at the moment she and Mum are very much learning together and coming to terms with the new situation.

Anna hope your son's Dr's appointment goes well.

 

[mrsjaja]

((((Anna))))

My dd (9 and non diabetic) is also playing up at bedtime big style. Liek Emma she hasnever been the best at bedtime but these last few weeks have been horrendous.

Hubby says he thinks its "a woman thing" which really doesnt help!!!!!!🙄

 

[Twitchy]

Hi Anna,

Just wanted to send some moral support and another hug!! (((()))) I know it probably feels like the world has turned upside down, but honestly, things will get easier as carb counting, dose adjustment etc gets more familiar - and best of all, you've found this place, it's wonderful! 🙂

I hope your son's appt goes well today - do let us know, won't you?

All the best,

Twitchy x

 

[SusieGriff]

It must be hard for you, but don't let it get you down too much, My kids were a handful all day long and they didn't have diabetes, so I really don't know how I would have coped. Big huggs to you and well done for just managing to cope so far. and don't feel guilty! Kids are programmed to make us feel guilty!!

 

[Witchy Mum]

Thanks everyone, when she got up this morning it was as if n othing had gone on!! JJ has sinasitus, sorry about spelling, but sinutab seem to be doing the trick, apparantly can cause headaches, and muscle pain and tiredness, and he is probably going through puberty too!! Hard to tell, he has had a cold so is voice went quite deep, now is still deep so not sure if its sinus or his voice has broken, he never went through the squeeky and deep phase, never dealt with a boys puberty and hubby says he can't remember his as it wass sooooo long ago 😛. All calm today, long may it last!! Thanks for listening and support, not a good time to give up dreaded weed! (Any excuse)🙄🙄

 

[Northerner]

Thanks everyone, when she got up this morning it was as if n othing had gone on!! JJ has sinasitus, sorry about spelling, but sinutab seem to be doing the trick, apparantly can cause headaches, and muscle pain and tiredness, and he is probably going through puberty too!! Hard to tell, he has had a cold so is voice went quite deep, now is still deep so not sure if its sinus or his voice has broken, he never went through the squeeky and deep phase, never dealt with a boys puberty and hubby says he can't remember his as it wass sooooo long ago. All calm today, long may it last!! Thanks for listening and support, not a good time to give up dreaded weed! (Any excuse)🙄

Glad to hear that JJ's illness has been identified and is responding well to treatment 🙂 I'm afraid it's too long ago for me to remember when my voice broke too! I do remember that I grew from 4' 8" to 5' 6" in less than a year when I was 12!

It's a very difficult time for all of you still, so do try and be supportive of each other. My experience is that it is still sinking in for me, nearly 3 years since diagnosis, although the initial 6 months were the time when I seemed to be faced with something new and unsettling each day.

I think this is the ideal time to stop smoking actually - you are all faced with difficulties and uncertainty, but your daughter has no choice in treating her diabetes. It might be encouraging for her to see you make a big effort to improve your health, although I appreciate that it will be difficult and tempers may flare 😱 🙂

 

[margie]

Poor JJ - I believe that sinusitis can cause really bad head and face pain - no wonder he was crying. It's good that the medicines are helping him.

So early on in to the diagnosis - there are going to be periods where emotions get out of control. Its a bit like going through a bereavement with all the associated emotions, sadness, anger, denial. Keep that in mind when tempers start to fray.