Surprising what you can acheive

mikeydt1

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
with the passing of my partner over a week ago and been on my own i am surprised at just what can be achieved while under vast pressure.

basically have nearly completed funeral arrangements just flower and ash holder to pay for on Monday and that is completed in that aspect.

this morning i have started the legal stuff which can all ways be the worst and have just completed just once, was a bit long winded but when you fill benefit forms in they just go on forever people out there will know what i mean.

can't do the bank and will yet as i need the death certificates but at least i can sort some stuff out over the next few weeks.

do have a legal service contacting me on Monday which comes as part of the package so will take other things from there.

any way overall i am disappointed with my remaining cousins and uncles not offering any help to say the least but this shows who your real friends are in times of need.

to say i have done all of the nitty gritty stuff myself think i must give myself 10 out of 10. and think my partner would be proud.

any way even under stress it shows how we can function to achieve the unthinkable.

i thank everyone on here for been my virtual friends.
 

Sally71

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Parent
Yes when you absolutely have to get on with something you can find the strength from somewhere. The grief will probably come later, take care of yourself x
 

trophywench

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 1
I think most people operate on Auto somehow, even though they've never had to do any of it before. Even though it's much more difficult right now - nobody can really assist, though at least before now, someone could at least offer to accompany you when doing the necessary.

Was over 6 months after my dad died, that it hit me like a ton of bricks whilst driving home from work one evening on my own, how the hell I got to the layby I pulled up in and stayed for nearly an hour just sobbing, I've no idea.
 

KARNAK

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 1
Well done Mike, I`ve had to do it several times I`m afraid family members always think you
can cope and the reality is you have to.

Probate always takes the longest depends what`s involved and how much money your
solicitor can persuade you to depart with, Platinum medal for you Mike.
 

mikeydt1

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
you are spot on Karnak with the probate, i do have a few options to go at but will see what legals say on Monday.

i wonder in circumstances like these if the shock gives you like a constant adrenal rush think that has now run out as i keep crashing out with sleep.

doctors only made a mistake with diazepam prescribed it for 3 times a day when it should of been for night only no wonder i felt numb all last week, got to smile about it though.

i have been through this now for the 3rd time but others did the stuff and i just attended, still very hard thing though and i put out my hat to the friends on here.
 

SueEK

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
Well done Mikey, such a lot to do and somehow we do find the wherewithal to knuckle down and do it. I do think shock pushes you on and you know it has to be done and done the best way possible for your loved one. It’s the last thing we can do for them and this keeps us going. As others have said I hope you allow yourself to grieve properly after the funeral, dont bottle things up as that can lead to real trouble down the line. You have done brilliantly and so glad you have been able to share with everyone on the forum as we do care how you are coping. Gentle hugs down my iPad to you x
 

trophywench

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 1
Well mikey, we're doffing our hats to you anyway !

Is the legal position sufficiently difficult to need a solicitor to do it? I know my bro in law employed a solicitor to handle the auntie with a lot of money's one - but only because he wanted to be 200% certain there were no mistakes since there was A Lot of money. However the other two equal beneficiaries of her estate told him he shouldn't have bothered cos they trusted him - and he landed up DIY anyway in the finish cos the solicitor did literally sweet FA with it for about 2 months when J sacked him. Pete told him not to go on his own, so his bro didn't tell him until a couple of days after when he'd already sent the forms in himself. I was very pleased about that - but obviously his little bro has known P a lot longer than I have!!

The Registrar actually advised him fully and kindly by phone - hence his costs were more than adequately covered by Pete and his cousin (off their own bat I should say) both agreeing to pay him a nice round amount which he was firmly told immediately not to dare to argue with.
 

Lilian

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
Are you sure you need the intervention of a solicitor at the moment. If your property was jointly held and joint tenants, it passes to you automatically. If there is only a small amount of money in bank they might just let you have that with the production of the death certificate only. My brother in law died a few years ago and I did the probate for my sister. Probate had to be applied for because property was involved. However even if Probate is called for, if there is nothing complicated you could most probably do it yourself. When you do get the death certificate make sure you ask for several. Depending on how many investments etc. will depend on how many. You should get at least 5. When you send them away they are usually returned to you, but not always. Also if you need to write to several people you can do it without having to wait for the one to come back. You also have spare in case one gets mislaid. The green one you keep hold of if you possibly can. You can always get more later if you need them but they cost more then. You can get the probate form online. If there was no Will then it would be Letters of Administration, again online. If there is a Will, is more than one person named as Executor. They need to be informed, and if one Executor is going to see to everything they need the permission of the other Executors.
 
Last edited:

mikeydt1

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
thanks for that Lilian esp about joint tenants as that is what it is and i was really worried about it so will put my mind at ease a bit. the other part, legal team are just providing advice on different issues and how to go about stuff.

once i get the death certificate i will order some online as the bank needs one for definite.
 

mikeydt1

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
should of added got that dam printer which has a mind of its own to get up and running oh the joys of technology.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Ljc

NotWorriedAtAll

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
Are you sure you need the intervention of a solicitor at the moment. If your property was jointly held and joint tenants, it passes to you automatically. If there is only a small amount of money in bank they might just let you have that with the production of the death certificate only. My brother in law died a few years ago and I did the probate for my sister. Probate had to be applied for because property was involved. However even if Probate is called for, if there is nothing complicated you could most probably do it yourself. When you do get the death certificate make sure you ask for several. Depending on how many investments etc. will depend on how many. You should get at least 5. When you send them away they are usually returned to you, but not always. Also if you need to write to several people you can do it without having to wait for the one to come back. You also have spare in case one gets mislaid. The green one you keep hold of if you possibly can. You can always get more later if you need them but they cost more then. You can get the probate form online. If there was no Will then it would be Letters of Administration, again online. If there is a Will, is more than one person named as Executor. They need to be informed, and if one Executor is going to see to everything they need the permission of the other Executors.
This was my experience when my father died too. There was commercial property and foreign property involved plus joint bank accounts and the family home. I wasn't even named as an executor but the people who were didn't want to do it and one of them passed their executor-ness (don't know the proper term) to me and then we sorted it all out. The tax people were very helpful and showed us how to organise it so no inheritance tax was levied. That was nearly twenty years ago now - so tax stuff will be different but we found the tax people super kind and helpful.
 

AndBreathe

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
not sure on that Jenny will ask on Monday when the legal team telephone as the Will is from their same company. not talking huge sums but still a lot

Mikey, I helped my Mum deal with Dad's affairs, which got quite complex, even though he had notionally left everything to Mum. When Mum dies, I really wanted to wind up her affairs, as it was the very last thing I could do for her.

I went to see Mum's solicitor (who was a family friend, but not a close friend) who drafted her will, following my father's passing. When we went through Mum's will, he asked how I wanted to handle it, and I asked if he thought it was complex, in terms of obtaining probate, as the distributions was very clear. His response was he would be very happy to handle it, but he felt if I wanted to do it, I'd be fine. I was.

If you feel inclined, the gov.uk website has some excellent information on the topic: https://assets.publishing.service.g...loads/attachment_data/file/833274/pa2-eng.pdf

There is also a helpline if you want to discuss anything.
 

trophywench

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 1
HMRC are far from grabbing vultures when you actually need help. Companies House for UK registered companies are also exceedingly helpful - I've had to get my head round some of that, I'm OK at taking Minutes but hang on, what's this about being legally responsible then?
 

Ljc

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 1.5 LADA
I did probate and was executor for mums will. I found it emotionally hard but not difficult to actually do . If you use a firm to do probate be sure to enquire about there fees, it’s often a % of the estate plus any VAT.
I found some template letters online to send to companies including life insurance , to notify them that mum had died and I was the executor , I found these template letters very helpful , I will see if I can find them .
Oh you have to keep documents to do with probate and the will for 12 years,
 

Ljc

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 1.5 LADA

mikeydt1

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
that is really strange as last night i was thinking about tax before finally drifting off to sleep had nearly 9 hours. reason for going to bed early is that i had to get up early for my partner various jobs but nearly had 8-9 hours sleep.

when the free legal service telephones on Monday guess there will be loads of stuff and questions so note pad to the ready.

the Will was actually done through a legal service as i used the same one so if they offer to do it then i may go that option off course there will all ways be their cut like there was when i had a road crash. a big artic wagon ploughed in to my car not for the faint hearted
 

mikeydt1

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
they say as part of the package free legal service but penny to a pound if you need any help they will have big pound signs in their eyes.
 
Top