Supporting partner

[MollyG]

Hi
My husband had an insurance medical yesterday and had very high glucose levels in his wee. Diabetes won't come as a surprise, he has been exhibiting symptoms for ages but wasn't keen on going to a GP.
Anyway, he now has a blood test booked for 11th May.
Can anybody share advice or point me towards some good resources about how to support him during this diagnosis period (he's currently very angry at the thought of having diabetes) and what I can do food wise to help him feel less tired and useless?
Thank you so much

 

[MRS-S]

My husband too was diagnosed last November (type2), what I did was to research everything I could about diabetes particularly focussing of foods - fortunately he accepted that his food intake had to change (he was very overweight), we stopped eating white bread, pasta and changed to whole grain, he hated broccoli but is gradually beginning to like it, we eat a huge amount of veg compared to what we were eating. I cut down dramatically on potatoes but if I do cook a small potato I add squash or sweet potato or some swede and serve as a mash.
i bought new recipe books just to help me with cooking, I changed my baking flour to use wholemeal (or a mixture of w-meal & rye) instead of white - and admit I have had some disasters - so I hardly bake at all now. I found a brilliant website for low carb snacks. Generally i floundered when it came to finding help for myself and how we have to change and how we feel about our other half being diagnosed. My husband has lost 1st 7lbs. Be encouraged.

 

[trophywench]

Well higher than normal blood glucose certainly does make most people grumpier than normal, more liable to fly off the handle at the slightest things etc so the anger might be because of that - or for a different reason.

No pill or anything else will sort diabetes out, on its own. It is very much a condition that can only be controlled with the willing participation of the person who has just been diagnosed. However - it can be managed and managed well to the extent that it's said to be in remission.

The one foodstuff the body can no longer cope with OK is carbohydrate in all its forms so start cutting down on carbs asap. (sugar is a foodstuff that is almost 100% carbs and very very little else, so that's the first thing to cut down and if possible, out, immediately) Then cook less potato pasta and rice and eat less bread whilst leaving the protein and fat elements of food, alone. Add other veg to the meals where you're cutting down on the carb parts. That way you stay fuller for longer and don't get the same pangs of hunger not long after eating which is what typically happens when you eat a high carb meal.

 

[Drummer]

I got a waffle maker and make cheese and egg 'chaffles' - when they are served warm and wrapped around an extra thick rasher of bacon it is hard to hanker after bread.

 

[everydayupsanddowns]

Welcome to the forum @MollyG

How caring of you to join and to want to support your husband through this difficult step. A diagnosis with a long term condition can be a traumatic time (particularly one which can be the subject of stigma in the media). Many people liken it to a form of grieving, with all the ‘stages of grief’ including anger, denial, bargaining, depression and hopefully eventually acceptance.

If you would like a good overview of T2 diabetes to get you started, members here frequently recommend Maggie Davey’s Letter and Gretchen Becker’s book T2 Diabetes, the first year, which you can work through gradually in your own time.

And you can always come back here and keep asking questions. Nothing will be considered too obvious or ‘silly’.

 

[MollyG]

Thank you for your replies. He has now had the diagnosis of type 2 diabetes and is definitely going through the stages of grief. I work in NHS finance and, from an academic perspective, it is really interesting to see what happens when someone gets a long term condition diagnosis and how the NHS works. But as a wife, this is hard going!
I assume that he had an HbA1C test because his number is 63 and he was told it should be 20 - 42, and they treat anything over 58.
Thank you for the recommendations of resources. I think we are definitely in the anger / denial phase but we'll get there.

 

[Inka]

Yes, that definitely sounds like an HbA1C. It’s normal to feel anger as well as upset. It will gradually get easier, and his anger will be re-focussed on controlling the diabetes. It does take a little time but things will improve.

 

[Leadinglights]

Thank you for your replies. He has now had the diagnosis of type 2 diabetes and is definitely going through the stages of grief. I work in NHS finance and, from an academic perspective, it is really interesting to see what happens when someone gets a long term condition diagnosis and how the NHS works. But as a wife, this is hard going!
I assume that he had an HbA1C test because his number is 63 and he was told it should be 20 - 42, and they treat anything over 58.
Thank you for the recommendations of resources. I think we are definitely in the anger / denial phase but we'll get there.

From you earlier posts it sounds as if you have started to make some sensible changes to the diet so hopefully that will pay off. Yes a level of 63 would be a diabetic diagnosis and under 42 it something to be aiming for but not many people would be as low as 20, in the 30 + range is more usual.
I'm not sure what they mean by 'they treat anything over 58' as really it anything over 42 needs action and over 48 more action. I may

 

[rebrascora]

My interpretation is that they treat (ie with medication) anything over 58, which seems reasonable as long as there is room for individual negotiation.

 

[Leadinglights]

My interpretation is that they treat (ie with medication) anything over 58, which seems reasonable as long as there is room for individual negotiation.

I think that is what I was going to say but seemed to stop mid sentence.