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Stress!

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C

Carynb

Well-Known Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Parent of person with diabetes
So 10 days on from T1 diagnosis my 8 yo son is doing fine but I'm not:(
I can't sleep, have a constant feeling of impending doom and cry at the most ridiculous things, please tell me this is quite normal and that I'm not going completely mad:confused:
 
Carynb said:
So 10 days on from T1 diagnosis my 8 yo son is doing fine but I'm not:(
I can't sleep, have a constant feeling of impending doom and cry at the most ridiculous things, please tell me this is quite normal and that I'm not going completely mad:confused:
Click to expand...


Hi Carynb ...

I can assure you that what you are feeling is quite normal ... and you are definately not going mad .. 10 days into your sons diagnosis is early ... Please don't be to hard on yourself .. You are still in the shock phase .. I was exactly the same as you .. when my son was diagnosed 2 and a half years ago, aged 11 .. I wanted to go out and kill someone .. how dare this happen .. someone is to blame and someone must pay etc .. The anger, guilt, hurt and pain I felt then would never go away .. Things will and do become easier I promise, in someways we have to draw on the strength our children show and we need to be strong for them too .

Have you got a good support network around you, are there any family groups near you, Is your DSN supportive and in touch with you?

If ever you need to chat etc .. please feel free to pm me anytime .. I will do all I can to help and support you .. 🙂

Heidi
xx🙂
 
If you DIDNT feel like this - i would think you werent normal!

I felt exactly the same as you - paranoid about letting my son out of my sight - i even walked him to school for a few weeks - when he had already started walking on his own pre-dabetes!

You will feel like this for a while yet - sorry. But i absolutely promise you - things DO GET BETTER! You will probably never come to terms with the diagnosis - but you will learn to live with it. It will fit into your lives - and the sad feelings will become less. Your little boy will inspire you and help you to feel normal again - my son did. Children cope with things in a very matter of fact way - much better than us adults.

Keep posting your thoughts and feelings and i am sure we will all help you to feel better about it all.🙂Bev
 
Caryn, you most definitely sound normal to me at this stage. It is such a shock and there is so much to learn - please try to be kind to yourself and remember that as your son is doing fine you must be doing ok in front of him so have to let your understandable reaction out somewhere.
 
It is totally normal that you feel like this. My heart goes out to you because i know exactly how you feel. I promise you that it does get better with time because at the moment the diabetes dominates and nothing is second nature. This changes over time. My son was diagnosed two years ago (age10) and i have come a long way in that time.

As i have said before, I had a beautiful son, then i had a diabetic, now i have a son who is beautiful, blue eyed, blonde haired, bright, fun loving, happy, popular, oh and also has diabetes. I promise you that is does move into the background to a certain extent.

If i am to be truly honest with you i still have bad days when i cry, feel very doomy and gloomy and struggle to get through the day but again this is natural for a parent. I used to cry everynight at first, then weekly, and now only at times. The heartache does not go away but you learn to deal with it better.

There is a process to go through. Don't fight it as you have to go through it to gain strength.

Although life does not return to 'normal', life develops a new 'normal' and other events take over so that the diabetes becomes only part of your lives instead of all of it.

Please let us all here support you. Feel free to pm me anytime. I truly understand how you feel, and i said, i still have days like that now.

We can prop each other up! Keep strong and keep in touch.

Mand xx 🙂
 
I can't add to what others have said, and at least you are able to come here and share feelings and emotions and know you are not alone. It is a good starting point and hterre are lots of experienced mums here, so the advice and support is always there and always good.
 
Hi Carynb,

Sorry I can't really add to what the others have said...do please look after yourself too though - I'm sure you have a very scary feeling of responsibility, but don't let it mean you neglect yourself! There are many wonderful people on this forum, and some truely awesome mums...I'm sure in time you will find your feet as a "diabetic's parent", come to terms with this thing & feel like things will be ok again. In the meantime it's ok to feel sad / angry...it's not fair & nobody wants to be diabetic!

I know things seem scary right now, but with modern testing & treatments, there is no reason why your child can't have a full, healthy, happy life, achieving their ambitions & living their dreams! Diabetes may get us all down from time to time, & it can be a challenge, but you are not alone...any time you feel in need of letting of steam, or advice, or whatever, post on here & you will get support - it's a wonderful community.

All the very best,

Twitchy
 
HI Carynb

My son was diagnosed only nine months ago, and all I can say is what you are feeling is SO absolutely normal and expected, and natural.

I am like Mand I guess -- have had just the most dreadful days since the start, but they are becoming fewer now, and we are all getting used to the constant changing thing that is diabetes....

I have cried and cried and cried. And continue to, at times. Some may say it's too much, but I'm afraid it's just the way I am. I am also strong, as we all are, for our children.

Make sure you have support and make sure you talk about it. I do have one thing to say though: I'm so sorry this has happened to your family; you have my sympathy and understanding.

Like Twitchy says, eventually you will learn to hold onto and believe the kind of full happy lives now led by so many people with diabetes. Of course it won't be the life you thought your child would have -- but how often does that happen, really? It will still be SUCH a good one. It really will.

Take care.
 
Thank you ALL so much! I guess it was a bad day when I posted my first messgae.Today is ok, I've been back to work for the first time which gave me something else to think about. Next hurdle is school next week!!!

I really appreciate you all taking the time to reply xx
 
Mand said:
If i am to be truly honest with you i still have bad days when i cry, feel very doomy and gloomy and struggle to get through the day but again this is natural for a parent. I used to cry everynight at first, then weekly, and now only at times. The heartache does not go away but you learn to deal with it better.
Click to expand...

I'm so glad i'm not the only one that has days like this 🙂 Thanks for sharing that and making me feel better. 🙂
 
Hi Carynb,

I am sorry this has happened to your family, but as has already been said there is no reason why your son can't go on to do everything he wants in life, it will just take adjusting.

As you will know there is much to learn at first especially, so please post any questions or worries you may have.
 
Thank you, too, Becca! It is reassuring for me to know that you understand and feel the same. It's good to share so we all know that what we feel is 'normal'. Hopefully by sharing we will feel less alone with our emotions. xx 🙂
 
Hi CarynB

I am really sorry to hear how you are feeling and what you are going through with the diagnosis of your son. It must be very hard and distressing when it is your little one who gets diagnosed and you have my full-on sympathy and love.

Stay close and keep popping into the boards, even if you dont feel up to posting. I think reading through some of the threads and thoughts of the parents that regually use the site will make you feel optomistic for the future and help get some of your thoughts into perspective.

I think these feelings have such an intial impact and effect it is hard to see how life could be with your son and diabetes a few months down the line, or a year, or longer. People here would love to support you and offer any help and advice we can.

Take care
Lou xx
 
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