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Some thoughts and ramblings after our first few months post T2 diagnosis.

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Kitty W

Active Member
Hi Everyone,

I’ve been thinking about writing this for a while, and I hope you don’t mind that I am using the forum and this message as a kind of therapy. I just feel the need to write down my experiences and thoughts as the partner of a recently diagnosed T2.

Although it is my partner that is coping with the diagnosis and having to deal with the new regime of diet and exercise, I am also affected by the diagnosis and I’ve got to admit that it is tiring, hard work and emotional.

However, things do seem to be going well. I’m hoping for a good improvement when he gets his first post diagnosis HbA1c test, which should hopefully be sometime in October. Although I keep telling myself that this is a marathon and not a sprint and if the improvement is not as good as we are hoping that any improvement is a good thing. The thing is, until we get this result we don’t know if what we are doing is enough, or if we need to adapt even more. I am constantly thinking about this next test result. It’s driving me to distraction! One moment, I am confident the result will be much improved, but then I think what if I am setting myself up for disappointment. I don’t mention this to my OH as he has enough to deal with without my anxieties as well. I have to keep telling myself it will be what it will be, and we can only deal with the result once we get it.

Over the last three months I have learned things I never expected to know about. Although my partner is T2, I have been reading the forum avidly and I have learned so much about the different types of diabetes and I have so much respect for the many members that share their wealth of knowledge and experience. I hope you all know how much it is appreciated.

I am the main cook in the house and I feel a massive responsibility to make sure I am buying and cooking appropriate meals. Again, the forum has been a massive help with this. I have lost all enthusiasm for eating out though, it just seems too stressful to be honest. I am hoping as we continue our journey that we will learn to enjoy going out for meals again.

One thing I have found quite unbelievable is the inconsistency in care and treatment regimes. I would have thought that there would be set guidelines to follow. For example: if your HbA1C is between certain limits then a designated course of action would be taken, but that does not seem to be the case. The treatment plans that people are put on seem varied and I find this quite strange.

Finally (sorry I’m nearly finished rambling now), I know something along these lines was mentioned in a post recently, but I want to mention it as well. Most people mean well, and most people don’t know much about diabetes so I can’t really blame them, but some conversations we have had with family and friends are hard work. You get the ‘so and so eats what they want, and they are diabetic’ or the ‘when can he come off his medication, surely it’s worked by now’ or the ‘he can have a treat, go on, one beer won’t hurt’. And I know everyone means well but when we are still coming to terms with this too it is hard having to hear about everyone else’s opinions on the situation. I find the best way to explain it to people is that my OH now has an intolerance to carbs and that in the same way that they wouldn’t give someone with a lactose intolerance a glass of milk, it’s not really appropriate to offer carby food and drinks to my OH. Explaining things this way does seem to work better.

Anyway, I hope my ramblings make sense. Sorry for offloading on you all (assuming anyone actually got to the bottom of the post) but I just needed to get some things off my chest. It is quite cathartic just writing down my feelings. Mainly I just wanted to say thank you to this forum for giving me so much knowledge and courage to help my OH with his new lifestyle. Thank you x
 
This forum is designed to allow people to use it as best suits them so there's never any need to apologise for using it to rant.
 
Don't lose sight of the fact you are doing great and the BG finger pricks give you a good indication of that but I can totally understand that you will be pinning a lot of hope and some anxiety on his next HbA1c result. Hopefully after that result you will feel a little less pressure as you will know that what you are doing is working and whilst it may not be in the "normal range", as long as you see improvement, that is a huge achievement. I think, if it is a really good result it may help you to be more relaxed about eating out but I understand that it can take some of the joy out of it. I am not ready to eat out in public yet due to Covid but even just a takeaway sometimes feels like it isn't worth the thought process. I am sure it will get easier mentally and I have certainly started to experiment a bit more with foods recently. Some have not been successful and levels have soared and I have decided that they are not worth the BG upheaval, but others have been worth trying again and adjusting to get a better response.
I think your approach with other people about it being "an intolerance" is a good one and that thought may be helpful to others having difficulty in dealing with similar frustration. We all know people mean well and life is for living but it is about finding a balance. Would your other half consider having a glass of wine or a spirit instead of a beer, so that he is not seen to be excluding himself, although if he doesn't enjoy those then that would be pointless and he shouldn't need to drink alcohol to be part of the group. I believe there are some low carb beers so that might be something to research and then try to find a pub that sells one.

Anyway, I just wanted to acknowledge your post and say that your feeling are perfectly understandable and justified and hopefully his HbA1c result later this month will put your mind more at rest and you will feel a bit more chilled about having things under control. You have done all the hard stuff by gaining knowledge and understanding of the situation, so now it is just finding the balance and that will come with experience.

Good luck and I anticipate congratulating you both soon on an excellent result. Looking forward to that post from you.
 
rebrascora said:
Don't lose sight of the fact you are doing great and the BG finger pricks give you a good indication of that but I can totally understand that you will be pinning a lot of hope and some anxiety on his next HbA1c result. Hopefully after that result you will feel a little less pressure as you will know that what you are doing is working and whilst it may not be in the "normal range", as long as you see improvement, that is a huge achievement. I think, if it is a really good result it may help you to be more relaxed about eating out but I understand that it can take some of the joy out of it. I am not ready to eat out in public yet due to Covid but even just a takeaway sometimes feels like it isn't worth the thought process. I am sure it will get easier mentally and I have certainly started to experiment a bit more with foods recently. Some have not been successful and levels have soared and I have decided that they are not worth the BG upheaval, but others have been worth trying again and adjusting to get a better response.
I think your approach with other people about it being "an intolerance" is a good one and that thought may be helpful to others having difficulty in dealing with similar frustration. We all know people mean well and life is for living but it is about finding a balance. Would your other half consider having a glass of wine or a spirit instead of a beer, so that he is not seen to be excluding himself, although if he doesn't enjoy those then that would be pointless and he shouldn't need to drink alcohol to be part of the group. I believe there are some low carb beers so that might be something to research and then try to find a pub that sells one.

Anyway, I just wanted to acknowledge your post and say that your feeling are perfectly understandable and justified and hopefully his HbA1c result later this month will put your mind more at rest and you will feel a bit more chilled about having things under control. You have done all the hard stuff by gaining knowledge and understanding of the situation, so now it is just finding the balance and that will come with experience.

Good luck and I anticipate congratulating you both soon on an excellent result. Looking forward to that post from you.
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Thank you for the reply 🙂 It is just nice speaking with people who know and understand what we are dealing with.

Yes we do enjoy a glass of wine and the occasional gin and tonic. He did really like lager and ales though and I think people just ask out of habit, and also they don't want to exclude him. Which is nice, but also slightly frustrating for him. I think this will change as we go further in our journey and our family and friends will adapt with us.

Many thanks again, I'll be in touch later in the month with hopefully a good HbA1c result x
 
Sometimes it’s just as much of a life change for the OH as it is for us. What was his HBA1c at diagnosis? for some when it’s really high it can come down quite quickly with the right diet, Others who are only just in the diabetic zone it can be a bit more stubborn and fasting glucose can take a while to come down. Also these blood test as with everything may be delayed. So you might have a little longer to work on that result. Please come back and share the news, whatever it is xx
 
EmmaL76 said:
Sometimes it’s just as much of a life change for the OH as it is for us. What was his HBA1c at diagnosis? for some when it’s really high it can come down quite quickly with the right diet, Others who are only just in the diabetic zone it can be a bit more stubborn and fasting glucose can take a while to come down. Also these blood test as with everything may be delayed. So you might have a little longer to work on that result. Please come back and share the news, whatever it is xx
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Hi, thanks for the reply. Yes it certainly has been an adjustment for us both! He was diagnosed with a result of 112 after going for a routine health check! It's quite unbelievable really and I'm so grateful he took the surgery up on the offer of a health check. I'm sure this will be much improved, just by how much is what I can't wait to find out. I'll be back with the results when we get it, hopefully it'll be sooner than later. X
 
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