Social Isolation

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Taffyboyslim

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Relationship to Diabetes
Type 2
Have had a very bad few weeks with depression ending up in the emergency psychiatric unit

I have realised that my diabetes came from eating unhealthy comfort food and that came from living with anxiety and depression for most of my adult life

I havnt had the social aspect of work and a decent relationship or kids so I now find myself incredibly lonely and isolated

I am sick of being on my own but I don't want to come over as desperate?

Does anybody else get these feelings and has anything helped ?

Thanks guys x
 
Do you have any hobbies or go to any activity / interest groups where you can meet people and have some interaction? Or could you look for some if not? Even if you don’t have specific hobbies already you could take something up.
 
As Lucy says, hobby groups are good. Look for What’s On [insert place where you live]. You should find a calendar with lists of events and groups. Local town or parish councils also have information sometimes.

In addition, there are many groups and organisations looking for volunteers. Charity shops in my town constantly have signs up. They’re also asking for volunteers to visit the elderly, walk pets, help at the food bank, etc etc.
 
Taffyboyslim said:
Have had a very bad few weeks with depression ending up in the emergency psychiatric unit

I have realised that my diabetes came from eating unhealthy comfort food and that came from living with anxiety and depression for most of my adult life

I havnt had the social aspect of work and a decent relationship or kids so I now find myself incredibly lonely and isolated

I am sick of being on my own but I don't want to come over as desperate?

Does anybody else get these feelings and has anything helped ?

Thanks guys x
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It’s a great step you’ve taken, posting this topic.
How much interaction (no matter how brief.) do you have whilst out shopping locally either with shop staff or other customers who might know you? Even a casual cordial mention about the weather, could help build confidence regarding dispelling your feelings of isolation.
Something else like offering help to a neighbour (even if they turn it down.) is a start that might help with your own confidence getting out there.
 
I think others have highlighted a lot of different ideas. I don't know how old you are but if you do not work you could join a U3A. They have them in most areas. These U3As have lots of different groups within them for all sorts of interests. You could look at it online. It does tend to be older people though, say over 50 as they take place in the day time.
 
Satan’s little helper said:
It’s a great step you’ve taken, posting this topic.
How much interaction (no matter how brief.) do you have whilst out shopping locally either with shop staff or other customers who might know you? Even a casual cordial mention about the weather, could help build confidence regarding dispelling your feelings of isolation.
Something else like offering help to a neighbour (even if they turn it down.) is a start that might help with your own confidence getting out there.
Click to expand...

Thank you

After caring for my mother with dementia I clearly need to increase my social contact . I can go days without speaking to people .
 
Taffyboyslim said:
Thank you

After caring for my mother with dementia I clearly need to increase my social contact . I can go days without speaking to people .
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I am sorry to hear you had to go through this. My father had it but my Mom did the caring until he had to be taken to our Elderly Care Hospital. Then my Dad-in-Law had it too. As we lived away he had carers in and eventually had to go into a home. Knowing what this was like without having to directly care for a person with dementia I really do sympathise with you and I am so sorry you are going through this.

I do hope you find some of these suggestions helpful and manage to have some social contact with others.
 
Taffyboyslim said:
Thank you

After caring for my mother with dementia I clearly need to increase my social contact . I can go days without speaking to people .
Click to expand...
There is another group my husband and I are a member of and that is Oddfellows. They have groups in all areas. This again is generally older people. I don't know how old you are but it could be an idea. A lot of people there are on their own.
 
Maz2 said:
I am sorry to hear you had to go through this. My father had it but my Mom did the caring until he had to be taken to our Elderly Care Hospital. Then my Dad-in-Law had it too. As we lived away he had carers in and eventually had to go into a home. Knowing what this was like without having to directly care for a person with dementia I really do sympathise with you and I am so sorry you are going through this.

I do hope you find some of these suggestions helpful and manage to have some social contact with others.
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That's very kind of you
 
Maz2 said:
There is another group my husband and I are a member of and that is Oddfellows. They have groups in all areas. This again is generally older people. I don't know how old you are but it could be an idea. A lot of people there are on their own.
Click to expand...

Thank you , I will Google your suggestion

I am 57
 
Local groups are a great idea. There are all sorts of things near me, like volunteers that do litter picking in various places, walking groups, lunch clubs, community centre things.

Of course it can take a bit of an effort to actually engage with any of these opportunities. And one of the toughest things about low mood / anxiety is how pervasively it exhausts you, and denies you the ‘oomph’ to get out there.

But sometimes deciding go out even when you don’t ‘feel like it’, lack energy, and just want to withdraw into yourself, can gradually begin to erode away that heaviness. And you have a great time, despite not wanting to do it when you set off!

We are rooting for you @Taffyboyslim

Be kind to yourself, and take it one small step at a time. 🙂
 
We live in a fairly small village, but it has 3 walking groups - a couple of which are very sociable, and usually drop into a pub, or cafe for a coffee on their way around.

They don’t go far afield, and welcome anyone who turns up on the day.

I think you might be astonished by how many men (and women) there are feeling just like you. In our local walking groups there are several men of your age who are on their own, for whatever reason. They tend to walk together, having formed their own little tribe.

If you have a local magazine popped through the door, it’s worthwhile looking out for groups, or events that are running.
 
Walking and/running groups - always a good idea particularly as, obviously, exercise and needs little equipment.
Parkrun is a great place to start!
 
Taffyboyslim said:
Thank you

After caring for my mother with dementia I clearly need to increase my social contact . I can go days without speaking to people .
Click to expand...
If you are a carer. (One of the unsung hero’s in my book.) you should through your GP get “respite?” It’s to give a bit of a rest for the carer in the interests of the carer’s mental health. Somebody comes in & sits with your mum whilst you do your own thing for a while.
Best wishes.
 
Satan’s little helper said:
If you are a carer. (One of the unsung hero’s in my book.) you should through your GP get “respite?” It’s to give a bit of a rest for the carer in the interests of the carer’s mental health. Somebody comes in & sits with your mum whilst you do your own thing for a while.
Best wishes.
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Hi my mum has passed now but we got fabulous support at the time

Thanks
 
everydayupsanddowns said:
Local groups are a great idea. There are all sorts of things near me, like volunteers that do litter picking in various places, walking groups, lunch clubs, community centre things.

Of course it can take a bit of an effort to actually engage with any of these opportunities. And one of the toughest things about low mood / anxiety is how pervasively it exhausts you, and denies you the ‘oomph’ to get out there.

But sometimes deciding go out even when you don’t ‘feel like it’, lack energy, and just want to withdraw into yourself, can gradually begin to erode away that heaviness. And you have a great time, despite not wanting to do it when you set off!

We are rooting for you @Taffyboyslim

Be kind to yourself, and take it one small step at a time. 🙂
Click to expand...

God bless ya
 
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