thanks people - still feeling pretty s****y but I guess a lot of that is the sleep deprivation kicking in! And like Rosie says - what I have to remind myself is that Lo is so much cheerier now, a real character and v smiley - which she wasn't AT ALL this summer, and is noticeably more cheerier since going onto the pump from MDI. Will just turn this pc off and try to stop thinking about it - just 10 mins would be nice, to properly switch off. That's what's hard. And getting other half to understand is hard. Even though he really does do his bit, much more than lots of others would. BUT - he doesn't think about it like I do: perfect example - I fell asleep today on the sofa, woke with a start and saw it was half 3 - first thing on my mind - check Lo, I bet she is LOW (she was napping), asked D cos I was half asleep and needed to find my specs, he said, ok, in a minute - eating/reading etc. He was going to, but did not have the sense of urgency. I got up in the end and yes she was low. Only 3.5 but still. It just sums it up.