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Parent of a teenage T1 newby ......

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LollyMac

New Member
Relationship to Diabetes
Parent of person with diabetes
Hi - my 14yr old son was recently diagnosed with T1. At first he handled it all really well but now, 2 months in - he's literally hit a brick wall and is extremely angry all the time. Any hints or tips with how to deal with this ? I don't want to do or say the wrong things and make it worse. Thanks
 
Hi sorry to hear about your sons diagnosis I'm currently going through parenting a very fiesty 15 year old and he ain't got diabetes so can only imagine how hard it is for you right now. How is he handling things at school. Is they anyone else in the family who could approach him and try and help
There's a parenting section on here so take a look at that and see if it helps to. Maybe you could also some how get him to have a peek on here as well being 14 I'm sure he is ofay to the Internet x
 
I'm sure some of the experienced and longer established members of this website will give advice and information, but meantime if you look at the list of forums, you will find one called 'Parents' which may be of interest to you.
 
LollyMac said:
Hi - my 14yr old son was recently diagnosed with T1. At first he handled it all really well but now, 2 months in - he's literally hit a brick wall and is extremely angry all the time. Any hints or tips with how to deal with this ? I don't want to do or say the wrong things and make it worse. Thanks
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Hi @LollyMac, welcome to the forum 🙂 Sorry to hear about your son's diagnosis, how did it come about? :( I think it's a fairly common thing - things are handled well initially, then the realisation strikes that it's not a temporary thing and resentment can set in :( Have you spoken to his team about this? I'm sure they are very familiar with this as a reaction. Is he taking his medication properly, and testing OK? Does he know anyone his age in a similar situation? How is he with his friends - is he open about it or does he hide things away? It's nothing to be ashamed of and it's better to be open about it, if he's OK with that 🙂 High or fluctuating levels do affect mood, so if he's experiencing swings in his levels it may be exaggerating how he responds to things (or he could just be being a teenager!). I personally found at the start that it's easier to just deal with the things I need to - do the tests and injections and then get on with your life, it only needs to take a few minutes out of each day. - spending time being angry or resentful won't change things, it'll just make you feel bad, and not paying attention to the basic needs will just make you feel worse. Easy to say, harder to do, I know.

What insulin regime is he on? Do you know what his readings are like, morning and pre-meals?

I'd highly recommend getting a copy of Type 1 Diabetes in Children Adolescents and Young People by Ragnar Hanas - an excellent book that covers all aspects of living with Type 1 (whatever your age!). Also, there is an excellent group of parents at http://www.childrenwithdiabetesuk.org/ that you may find helpful - they have a good Facebook group if you use that 🙂

Another thing to bear in mind are the potential 'irritations' that people with diabetes can feel - worth taking a look at the 'Diabetes Etiquette for Parents' card 🙂

Please let us know if you (or he!) have any questions, we will be more than happy to help! 🙂
 
Wow - thank you all so much for this feedback. I'll certainly have a look at the other links (for parents) and also try get my hands on that book. As far as I know, he's doing ok at school. He's in 3 of the school sports teams along with another lad his age who is also type1 so I think they keep each other right and he is keen to not let his diabetes affect his sports but I think he gets frustrated when his levels are all over the place. We have a paediatric clinic this Thursday so I will talk to the team about things then too. My husband doesn't keep good health and is not meant to get stressed although he is trying his best to help. It just feels like I'm bearing the brunt of it all which is difficult when juggling a stressful job too. Am sure we'll cope - It's just a whole new regime for all of us. Thanks again ...
 
Hi LM,
Thats good he has a mate who knows exactly what he's going through.I hope the clinic goes ok thursday.Its hard for most adults to cope cant imagine how an already hormonal child copes.Please keep in touch on here .
 
Welcome!

I was diagnosed at 8 years old and didn't hit the angry stage until my teens. So I was quite late to it. I would advise sitting down with him and talking about it - I refused to talk about it when I went through that stage and just shut everything off. Letting it all out definitely helps. And then the two of you can come up with a plan of action. Good luck at the clinic!
 
LollyMac said:
. It just feels like I'm bearing the brunt of it all which is difficult when juggling a stressful job too. Am sure we'll cope - It's just a whole new regime for all of us. Thanks again ...
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Lolly - do you not think your SON feels even worse than you do? He's lumbered with it for the rest of his life - and that's damn hard to get your head round when you're 50 - let alone when you're 14. And sorry - no, you aren't bearing the brunt of it - he is!

Having said that - I'm not actually unsympathetic believe it or not LOL (Having kids in the first place was a responsibility I never wanted, so I didn't. Then married this bloke who'd already done that 40 years previously - so not only did I have instant kids and grandkids - now I have GGCs too. Bit of a shock to the system!)

Have a read of this - and see what stage you've BOTH got to, so far. I was 30 years posts diagnosis when I was pointed to it - and I can still recall going through all 5 stages.

http://www.businessballs.com/elisabeth_kubler_ross_five_stages_of_grief.htm

I hope it helps!
 
trophywench said:
Lolly - do you not think your SON feels even worse than you do? He's lumbered with it for the rest of his life - and that's damn hard to get your head round when you're 50 - let alone when you're 14. And sorry - no, you aren't bearing the brunt of it - he is!
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I think what Lolly was meaning was that her husband isn't able to play as big a part as he might, due to his own health problems. Personally, I think both Mum and son are facing big challenges in this situation, but different in nature. I'm not a parent, but can imagine it must be very difficult to be faced with a problem that you may feel powerless to help with when it concerns your child.

Lolly, you might like to read Adrienne's essential guide for parents of newly-diagnosed children, written by one of our 'Parent' members 🙂
 
Sorry to hear about your sons diagnosis :(
I was diagnosed at 46 and was angry, so heaven knows what it must be like at 14 with all that testosterone as well. Have you asked his team if there is any counseling available to help you both, if he'll engage. The information mentioned above will be helpful too. Good luck.
 
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